Ring Bearer's Journey: Carrying The Rings

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight. The child walks down the aisle, often with the wedding ring(s) on a pillow, and presents the rings to the bride and groom during the ceremony. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding.

The tradition of ring bearers is believed to have originated in Ancient Egypt, when young boys would carry treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies. In Medieval times, a similar role was performed, but the rings were presented on the tip of a sword.

The ring bearer's pillow

The ring bearer pillow is a small pillow that carries the wedding rings down the aisle, usually by a young child. The pillow is often made of satin and comes in a variety of colours, including white, ivory, and champagne. It may be decorated with lace, pearls, flowers, ribbons, or bows. The pillow can also be personalised with embroidery, such as the couple's names or wedding date.

The ring bearer pillow is traditionally carried by a young boy, but this role can be performed by anyone, including girls, adults, or even pets. The pillow is usually handed to the ring bearer just before they walk down the aisle to reduce the risk of the rings being lost.

While some couples choose to tie the real wedding rings to the pillow, others prefer to use fake rings as a safety precaution. The ring bearer pillow can be purchased from various online retailers or handmade.

• White or ivory pillow with a double ribbon bow
• Pillow with a satin finish and a bowknot
• Pillow with lace, pearls, and a flower
• Pillow with a burlap finish and a linen ribbon
• Pillow with a rustic, vintage design and lace
• Pillow with a simple big bow

The ring bearer's attire

The ring bearer is usually a young child, often between the ages of three and eight, and their attire can vary depending on the level of formality of the wedding.

For a formal or black-tie wedding, a classic tuxedo is a popular choice, with a bow tie adding a touch of elegance. Suspenders can also be incorporated for a dapper look. For a more casual or beach wedding, a button-down shirt or polo shirt can be a comfortable option. Linen suits or shirts in light colours like blue or green are perfect for a relaxed, summery vibe.

The ring bearer's outfit can be coordinated with the wedding party's attire, such as matching colours or styles with the groomsmen. Accessories like bow ties, suspenders, hats, and even sunglasses can enhance the overall style. Comfort is also important, especially for younger ring bearers, to ensure they stay happy and cranky-free!

While the ring bearer's parents typically purchase the outfit, the couple may offer to pay if they have specific high-end attire in mind. It's also a thoughtful gesture to give a gift to the ring bearer, such as an accessory that becomes a cherished memento of the special day.

The ring bearer's age

The age of a ring bearer is a key consideration for any couple planning their wedding. While the role is traditionally given to a young boy, there is no one correct age for a ring bearer, and the decision ultimately comes down to personal preference.

Traditional Age Range

The traditional age range for a ring bearer is between three or four and eight years old. By the time a child is four, they are likely to be able to walk down the aisle unassisted, and at eight, they are still young enough to be considered cute for photo opportunities.

Alternatives

However, there is no need to stick to tradition, and many couples choose to be creative with their ring bearer selection. Anyone can be a ring bearer, and the role can be given to girls, older children, adults, or even pets. If you want to stick to the traditional age range but are worried about entrusting a young child with valuable wedding rings, you can have them carry fake rings, or give the real rings to the best man to hold.

Factors to Consider

When choosing the age of your ring bearer, it is important to consider whether the child will be able to carry out the role. Younger children are more prone to tantrums, crying, and stage fright, and may need their parents to accompany them down the aisle. Children between five and ten years old are the best candidates for ring-bearing duties, as they are old enough to walk down the aisle with minimal issues, and can be relied upon to carry out more complicated tasks.

Multiple Ring Bearers

If you have multiple candidates in mind for the role of ring bearer, there is no need to choose just one. You can have as many ring bearers as you like, although it is recommended to keep the number to three or fewer to ensure each child feels special and essential to the ceremony.

The Rehearsal

It is a good idea to include your ring bearer in the wedding rehearsal to help them feel more comfortable with their role and avoid any last-minute surprises. This is especially important for younger children, who may become overwhelmed or scared on the day of the wedding.

The ring bearer's walk down the aisle

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, typically aged between three and eight years old, but this is not a strict rule. The role can be performed by a girl or even a pet. The ring bearer is often a close relative or friend of the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or child of a close friend.

The ring bearer walks down the aisle, usually ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride, carrying the wedding rings on a small pillow. The pillow can be decorative, or you could opt for a ring box or another creative way to carry the rings, such as a bouquet or a briefcase.

Traditionally, the ring bearer walks down the aisle after the last bridesmaid and before the flower girl, if there is one. They walk slowly and confidently, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. The rings are usually fake, and the real rings are kept by the best man, to be given to the ring bearer just before they walk down the aisle.

If the ring bearer is old enough, they will walk on their own. If not, a parent or the flower girl can help them walk down the aisle, or they could be pulled along in a wagon or small car.

After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony. If they are too young, they may be seated with their parents.

The ring bearer's gift

• Practical Gifts: These can include items such as sunglasses, socks, or a personalised ring security shirt. For example, a pair of classic aviators or retro wayfarers can be a stylish and practical gift, especially for an outdoor summer wedding. Alternatively, a quirky pair of socks featuring the ring bearer's favourite cartoon character or sports team can add a playful touch to their outfit.
• Personalised Mementos: Gifts such as framed photos, engraved wooden toys, or other personalised items with the ring bearer's name, initials, or the wedding date can become cherished keepsakes. These mementos serve as a reminder of the special role they played in the wedding and can be treasured for years to come.
• Toys and Stuffed Animals: A ring-bearing teddy bear or a small toy that aligns with the ring bearer's interests can be a fun gift. It can provide entertainment during the reception and create a lasting memory of their involvement in the wedding.
• Handmade Tokens: If you are crafty, consider creating a handmade gift such as a scrapbook or a crocheted toy. These gifts are unique and made with love, showcasing your appreciation for the ring bearer's contribution.
• Experience Gifts: Instead of a physical gift, you could also offer an experience or activity for the ring bearer to enjoy. This could be in the form of a gift card or voucher for an activity they would enjoy, such as a trip to the movies, a theme park visit, or a fun day out.
• Precious Jewellery: For a more luxurious gift, consider a piece of precious jewellery, such as a customised bracelet or necklace. This gift can be a lasting reminder of the wedding and the ring bearer's special role.
• Gift Cards: If you are unsure of the ring bearer's interests or preferences, a gift card can be a flexible option. It allows them to choose something they truly want while still conveying your appreciation for their participation.
• Sweet Treats: For younger ring bearers, a small gift bag with their favourite sweets or treats can be a delightful surprise. It adds a touch of fun to the celebration and is sure to bring a smile to their faces.

Remember, the gift does not have to be expensive or extravagant. The gesture itself is a meaningful way to acknowledge the ring bearer's role and create a lasting memory of the wedding day.

Frequently asked questions