Groomsmen: Ring Bearers?

While the role of a ring bearer is typically given to young children, there is no reason why a man cannot take on this responsibility. In fact, some sources suggest that the role of the ring bearer first appeared in Ancient Egypt, where adults would carry treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies.

Today, the ring bearer is usually a boy or girl between the ages of three and eight, and is often a relative or close family friend. However, there are no strict rules regarding the age or gender of the ring bearer, and some couples choose to have a man or woman, or even their pet, fulfil this role instead. Ultimately, the decision of who to choose as your ring bearer is a personal one and can be tailored to fit the unique dynamics of your wedding party.

The role of a ring bearer

The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the bride, carrying the rings on a small pillow. The rings may be fake, with the best man or wedding officiant holding the real rings. The ring bearer then gives the rings to the wedding officiant or best man once they reach the altar. The ring bearer may also carry the rings in something other than a pillow, such as a wooden box, a basket, or a briefcase.

The ring bearer is typically between the ages of three and eight, but can be as young as two or as old as ten. If the ring bearer is very young, they may be carried by their parent during the processional or escorted by the flower girls. The ring bearer should be someone the couple is close to, as it is a special honour and a memorable moment for the child and their family.

The ring bearer's outfit should be similar to the groomsmen's attire, such as a small suit or tuxedo, and should be appropriate for the venue and time of year. The ring bearer's parents typically pay for their outfit and accessories, but the couple may choose to gift them with an accessory or an outfit if they wish. The couple may also choose to give the ring bearer a gift as a token of appreciation and to commemorate their role in the wedding.

Who can be a ring bearer?

The role of a ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle, usually on a decorative pillow or in a small box. The ring bearer is typically a young boy or girl, and is often the couple's own child, a relative, or a close family friend. However, the role can be performed by anyone, including adults, grandparents, and even pets!

While there are no strict rules regarding the age of the ring bearer, most are between three and eight years old. This is an age range where they would be old enough to walk easily down the aisle but still maintain the charm the role often requires.

If you are having a ring bearer at your wedding, it is a nice gesture to offer to pay for their outfit, or at least give a gift such as a tie or pocket square. It is also important to communicate with the ring bearer's guardians to make sure they are aware of their tasks and to ask for their support on the day.

Age and gender requirements

While there are no strict rules regarding the gender or age of a ring bearer, they are typically young boys or girls, usually between the ages of 2 and 10. The younger age range, between 2 and 3, might be a bit more unpredictable, but children of this age can still take part if the couple desires. Children younger than 3 may have trouble paying attention and might get fussy, but they can still be included with a parent escorting them down the aisle.

If the ring bearer is older than 10, they may be considered too old to be cute, but the couple could consider giving them a junior groomsman role, which has more responsibility and involvement in pre-wedding events.

The ring bearer is usually a close family member or friend of the couple, such as the couple's own child, a nephew or niece, godchild, younger sibling, or the child of the maid of honour or best man.

However, the role of the ring bearer is not confined to young children. Some couples choose to break with tradition and ask a grandparent or older family friend to be the ring bearer, or even their dog or cat.

What does a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer's outfit depends on the wedding attire and the formality of the wedding. Typically, the ring bearer wears a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including a tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This is a common choice as it allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom.

Another option is to dress the ring bearer in the same style as the groomsmen, creating a miniature version of their outfit. This could include a tuxedo or suit, with accessories such as a long tie, bow tie, and pocket square that match the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, alternatives include pairing pants with a shirt, bow tie, and suspenders, or purchasing a toddler's tuxedo. The ring bearer's outfit should also be appropriate for the venue and time of year, taking into account whether it will be warm or cold.

The ring bearer's parents typically pay for their child's outfit, but the bride and groom may choose to purchase the outfit or an accessory as a gift. It is important to consider children's clothing sizes, as they can change rapidly over the course of a year, and to have the child try on the outfit before the wedding to ensure a proper fit.

Ring bearer responsibilities

The role of a ring bearer is a very important one—they are responsible for delivering the wedding rings during the ceremony. Here is a detailed breakdown of their responsibilities:

Before the Wedding

If the ring bearer is a child, it is the responsibility of their parents to explain the duties to them, pay for their outfit and accessories, attend pre-wedding festivities, and arrive early on the wedding day. The couple should also decide whether the ring bearer will carry the real wedding rings or fake ones. If the ring bearer is an adult, they should coordinate with the couple directly.

During the Processional

The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the flower girl and the bride. They carry the rings on a pillow, in a box, or in a briefcase marked "ring security". If the ring bearer is old enough, they walk alone; otherwise, they may be escorted by their parents or the flower girls. Alternatively, someone may pull them in a wagon or small car.

At the Altar

Once the ring bearer reaches the altar, they hand the rings to either the officiant or the best man. Depending on their age, they may then stand with the rest of the wedding party or sit down with their parents.

At the Reception

The ring bearer should be invited to the reception, even if it is an adults-only event. They can be seated with their parents or at a designated kids' table with a babysitter, kid-friendly food, and fun activities.

Frequently asked questions