The Ultimate Guide To Being The Best Man

Being the best man is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. From organising the stag do to overseeing the wedding day and giving a speech, there's a lot to think about. Luckily, 'Being the Best Man For Dummies' is here to help. This step-by-step guide will take you through everything you need to know, from planning an unforgettable stag do to writing a brilliant speech, with plenty of tips on how to avoid common wedding day disasters.

Organising the stag do

So, your best mate has asked you to be his best man – congratulations! Now it's time to plan the stag do. Here's a step-by-step guide to organising an epic send-off for the groom-to-be.

Step 1: Chat with the Groom

The first step is to have a chat with the groom and get an idea of what he wants. Is he looking for a chilled weekend away or a non-stop party? Does he want to stay local or go abroad? Most importantly, get an invite list from him. You don't want to forget to invite someone important or, worse, invite someone he doesn't want there!

Step 2: Figure Out Dates and Budget

Chat with the groom about potential dates, keeping in mind that you'll want to choose a date that's a safe distance from the wedding (those eyebrows will need time to grow back!). Consider the group's budget and time constraints. There's no point planning a week-long trip to Vegas if most people can't afford it or don't have the time off work.

Step 3: Choose a Destination

Now it's time to choose a destination. Are you staying local, heading to a different part of the UK, or going abroad? Consider the logistics for each attendee. You won't be popular if lots of people can't attend because it's too far away. Also, check if there will be any language barriers at your chosen destination, and whether stag parties are generally accepted there.

Step 4: Choose Your Activities

Once you've picked your destination, it's time to line up some activities. Even if the priority is big nights out, you'll need something to do during the day. Choose activities that will appeal to most people and try to be original. Paintballing is fun, but not if 80% of the group have already done it.

Step 5: Plan the Nights Out

While the best nights out might be the ones that aren't planned, getting a large group of people into bars and clubs can be tricky. Consider booking your group into stag-friendly bars and clubs to guarantee entry and, if possible, score some VIP treatment.

Step 6: Get it Booked!

As soon as you've agreed on the details, get everything booked. The sooner you book, the less likely it is that someone will beat you to your chosen accommodation, activities, and time slots. Plus, you'll spend less time stressing and more time looking forward to it!

Remember, organising a stag do doesn't have to be stressful. Follow these steps, and you'll be well on your way to an epic send-off for the groom!

Wedding day responsibilities

The wedding day is when the best man truly shines. From helping the groom get ready to keeping the rings safe, every detail matters. The best man is also responsible for ensuring the groomsmen are where they need to be, coordinating their activities, and making sure everything runs on schedule.

• Keep the groom on schedule: The best man should keep an eye on the clock on the morning of the wedding to ensure that the groom and groomsmen get to the venue on time.
• Help the groom get ready: The best man should assist the groom with any last-minute preparations, such as buttoning his shirt, straightening his tie, or offering words of encouragement.
• Hold the wedding rings: The best man is entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time for the couple to exchange them during the ceremony. This is one of the most important duties of the best man.
• Usher in wedding guests: Although this is not specifically the role of the best man, offering support to the ushers and greeting guests can help ensure a smooth arrival.
• Look after the wedding vendors: Liaising with vendors and helping out where possible will ensure that everything goes smoothly. The best man should be a go-between for the couple and vendors, ensuring that any issues are swiftly addressed.
• Deliver a memorable speech: The best man speech is a highlight of the wedding reception. It should be well-crafted, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story, and include light-hearted anecdotes and sincere well-wishes.
• Ensure the groom is hydrated: The best man should make sure the groom stays refreshed throughout the day. This means providing drinks but also ensuring the groom doesn't overindulge before the ceremony.
• Witness the marriage license signing: The best man, along with the maid of honour, will sign the marriage license as a witness and hand the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee.
• Act as an unofficial reception host: The best man should keep their eyes and ears open at the reception to ensure the newlyweds and guests are having a good time. They should also be ready to step in and emcee if there are any issues with the DJ or band.
• Help collect gifts: The best man may be asked to receive gifts from guests and ensure they are safely stored or deposited in the couple's account.
• Decorate the getaway car: If the couple has planned a special exit, the best man should help decorate the getaway vehicle and coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds.
• Tie up loose ends: After the reception, the best man may be asked to help with various tasks such as tipping vendors, transporting gifts, and returning any rented attire.

The best man's role on the wedding day is crucial in ensuring that the groom's day goes smoothly and that any potential issues are swiftly addressed. It is a role that requires attention to detail, organisational skills, and the ability to remain calm and collected under pressure.

Writing a great speech

Writing a great best man's speech requires careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery. Here are some tips to help you craft a memorable and engaging speech:

Start with an Introduction

Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship with the groom. This is a great opportunity to connect with the audience and add a touch of humour. For example, you can jokingly refer to yourself as the "second-best man" or make light-hearted comments about the groom's career or hobbies.

Share Stories and Anecdotes

People are wired for stories, so share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your unique bond. Involve the bride in your stories as well, portraying her in a positive light. Avoid inside jokes or stories that might embarrass the couple or make the bride feel left out.

Compliment the Couple

Highlight the strengths of the couple and wish them well for their future together. Share how the bride has positively impacted the groom, such as how she has helped him grow or expand his horizons. Be sincere and heartfelt in your praise, and avoid clichés or overused quotes.

Keep it Positive and Tasteful

Focus on uplifting and humorous elements, steering clear of offensive jokes or inappropriate content. Ensure your speech is suitable for all ages and guests. Avoid stories about the groom's former relationships or conquests, as this may upset the bride and reflect poorly on the groom.

Conclude your speech by directly addressing the couple and offering them your blessings and well wishes. This is also the time to propose a toast, inviting everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds. Keep the toast simple and heartfelt.

Delivery and Rehearsal

Practice your speech as much as possible to refine your delivery and build confidence. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to get feedback and improve your body language and eye contact. Remember to speak clearly and use hand gestures to engage the audience.

Additional Tips:

• Keep your speech concise, aiming for around 5-7 minutes to hold the guests' attention.
• Avoid using props, as they can distract from your speech and make it less effective.
• If you have funny photographs, consider pinning them up by the seating plan and referencing them in your speech.
• If there are multiple speakers, coordinate with them to ensure your content doesn't overlap or become repetitive.

Dressing to impress

When it comes to dressing to impress as the best man, you'll want to consider a few key factors to ensure you look and feel your best. Here are some detailed tips to help you navigate your wardrobe choices for the big day:

Formal Wear:

Firstly, it's important to understand the dress code for the wedding. Typically, as the best man, you'll be expected to wear a suit or a tuxedo, depending on the formality of the event. If you don't own a suit, it's worth investing in one, preferably in a classic colour like navy or charcoal, which can be versatile for future events. Ensure your suit fits you well and is tailored to your body type. You can pair it with a complementary dress shirt, a stylish tie or bow tie, and well-polished dress shoes.

Accessories:

Don't underestimate the power of accessories to elevate your look. A pocket square, cufflinks, and a stylish watch can add a touch of sophistication to your ensemble. If you're feeling bold, you might even consider adding a colourful waistcoat or a cummerbund, but be sure to clear it with the groom first to ensure it aligns with the wedding's colour scheme and theme.

Grooming:

Pay attention to your grooming to complete your look. A fresh haircut, a close shave or a well-maintained beard, and a manicure can all contribute to a polished appearance. Ensure your hairstyle is neat and consider using a light hold product to keep any stray hairs in place throughout the day.

Pre-Wedding Events:

Your role as the best man likely extends beyond the wedding day itself, so be mindful of your attire for other events like the rehearsal dinner or the morning-of preparations. For more casual events, you can opt for smart-casual attire, such as a button-down shirt, dress pants or chinos, and loafers.

Weather Considerations:

Don't forget to take the weather into account, especially if the wedding is outdoors. If it's a summer wedding, you might opt for lighter fabrics and colours to stay comfortable in the heat. Conversely, for a winter wedding, you can incorporate layers, such as a vest or a stylish overcoat, to keep warm while still looking sharp.

Remember, as the best man, you'll be in the spotlight, so take the time to plan your outfit choices accordingly. You want to ensure that you not only look the part but also feel confident and comfortable throughout the celebrations.

Nightmare scenarios to avoid

Being the best man is an honour and a huge responsibility. Here are some wedding-day nightmare scenarios to avoid:

Forgetting your duties

You have a lot of responsibilities on the wedding day, from getting the groom to the ceremony on time to sticking to wedding etiquette. Make sure you know your duties inside out to avoid any mishaps.

A poorly planned stag do

The stag do is your responsibility to organise. Make sure you choose an activity that everyone will enjoy and that won't cause any embarrassment or offence. It should be memorable, but not for the wrong reasons!

A disastrous speech

The best man's speech is often one of the most anticipated moments of the wedding. Make sure you know how to write and deliver a great speech, including some tasteful jokes and quotes. Practise beforehand to ensure you don't ramble or say something you might regret.

Inappropriate attire

Dressing to impress is important, but so is dressing appropriately for the occasion. Make sure you know the dress code and choose an outfit that won't upstage the groom or offend any guests.

Not being prepared

Whether it's forgetting your speech, not having the ring, or not knowing the schedule for the day, lack of preparation can lead to disaster. Make sure you are organised and have a plan for every eventuality.

Too much alcohol

It's easy to get carried away with the celebrations, but remember that you have a duty to the groom and the wedding party. Make sure you don't drink so much that you embarrass yourself or the wedding party, or that you're unable to fulfil your responsibilities.

Frequently asked questions