Ring Bearer's Bible

There are several books about being a ring bearer, aimed at children who are about to take on the role in a wedding. These books are designed to prepare and encourage the ring-bearer-to-be, as well as thank them for playing such an important role on the big day. The books cover topics such as getting dressed up, walking down the aisle, watching the vows, and tasting the cake. They also include glossaries of terms and activities to reflect on the experience. Some books focus on the child's worries about their performance as ring bearer, as well as their concerns about becoming part of a blended family.

How to prepare for the big day

Being a ring bearer is a big responsibility and an important role in a wedding. If you're a ring bearer, there are several things you can do to prepare for the big day and make sure everything goes smoothly. Here are some tips to help you get ready:

• Get a comfortable outfit: Work with your parents and the couple to choose an outfit that fits the wedding's theme and colour scheme. It's important to make sure your outfit is comfortable, as you'll be wearing it for most of the day. A nice little tux with pants, suspenders, a bow tie, or a cute belt are all great choices. Don't forget to break in your shoes ahead of time to avoid blisters!
• Attend the wedding rehearsal: Participating in the rehearsal will help you feel more comfortable and familiar with the ceremony setup and your role in the wedding procession. It's a great opportunity to practice walking down the aisle and visualise where you'll be standing or sitting during the ceremony.
• Coordinate with your parents: Your parents will play a crucial role on the day of the wedding. Discuss with them how they can best support you and handle any potential meltdowns or nerves. They can also help plan logistics, like scheduling time for snacks and naps, to ensure you're energised and ready for the ceremony.
• Understand your role: As a ring bearer, your main task is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle. You'll usually walk after the bridesmaids and groomsmen and hand off the rings to the officiant or best man when you reach the altar. If you're carrying fake or symbolic rings, stand by the best man, who likely has the real ones.
• Be prepared for photos: You'll likely be included in photos with the wedding party after the ceremony, so be ready to strike a pose! Depending on your age and comfort level, you may also join the grand entrance during the introduction of the wedding party.
• Practise good ring bearer etiquette: Remember, you're an integral part of the wedding ceremony and will be invited to the reception. Traditional ring bearer etiquette dictates that all wedding party members should attend the reception. However, if you're a child and the reception is a child-free event, the couple may decide whether to include you.
• Get a good night's rest: In the days leading up to the wedding, make sure you get plenty of rest. Go to bed early the night before the big day to ensure you're well-rested and energised for your duties.
• Have fun and enjoy the experience: Being a ring bearer is a special honour, and it's a chance to be part of a memorable celebration. Enjoy the excitement of the day, savour the delicious food, and make new friends with the other children at the wedding.

What to wear

The ring bearer's outfit depends on the wedding attire and the venue and time of year. If the groomsmen are wearing suits, the ring bearer should wear a little suit. If the groomsmen are wearing tuxedos, the ring bearer should wear a tuxedo. The ring bearer's outfit should also be weather-appropriate.

Classic ring bearer outfits include tuxedos, suspenders, and bow ties, but the couple is free to make their own rules when it comes to attire. For a casual wedding, a button-down or polo shirt can be a good option. For a black-tie affair, a tuxedo and dress shoes are more appropriate.

It is important to consider the comfort of the ring bearer when choosing their outfit. Itchy or tight attire can lead to a cranky ring bearer, especially if they are a baby or toddler. The ring bearer's parents typically pay for their outfit, so be sure to give them options at different price points.

• Tiny tuxes or little suits
• Khakis with bow ties and suspenders
• Button-down shirt and linen trousers
• Polo shirt and boat shoes
• Bodysuit, shorts, and bow tie set
• Onesie with Peter Pan collar and piping
• Four-piece suit with trousers, waistcoat, button-down shirt, and bow tie
• Blazer and trousers
• Short-sleeved oxford shirt and shorts
• Vintage-inspired embroidered suit

The wedding ceremony

Walking Down the Aisle

The ring bearer will walk down the aisle, usually ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride. They should walk slowly and confidently, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. The ring bearer is likely to be the centre of attention at this moment, so it is important that they feel comfortable and confident in their role.

Presenting the Rings

Once the ring bearer reaches the altar, they will present the ring pillow to the best man or the couple when the time comes to exchange rings during the ceremony. This is the most important part of the ring bearer's role, and it is important to remember that the rings represent the couple's commitment to each other. Entrusting a young child with this responsibility is a symbol of hope for a bright and joyful future together.

During the Ceremony

After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony. Alternatively, if the ring bearer is very young, they may be seated with their parents. The ring bearer should be aware of the wedding day schedule and the specific timing of their role in the ceremony to avoid any confusion or delays.

What to Wear

The ring bearer's attire should complement the wedding party's outfits and be comfortable for the child to wear. It is important to consider the weather and venue conditions when choosing the outfit, ensuring the child remains comfortable throughout the day. Traditionally, a young boy ring bearer would wear a white shirt and neutral-coloured shorts or trousers, or a mini version of the groom's suit.

Rehearsal

To ensure the ring bearer feels confident in their role, they should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events where their presence is required. This will help them become familiar with the wedding party members and their role in the ceremony. It is also a good opportunity to practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow.

The wedding reception

• As a member of the wedding party, it is customary for you to be invited to the reception. This is a great opportunity to celebrate with the newlyweds and the rest of the wedding party.
• If there are other children at the reception, you may be seated with them at a kids' table. There might be a babysitter, kid-friendly food, and fun activities for you to enjoy!
• If the reception is adults-only, your parents can help arrange for a babysitter, and you can still watch the festivities from a nearby room at the venue or their hotel room.
• You might be announced with the other wedding party members during the wedding reception entrances, so be prepared for all eyes to be on you again!
• Enjoy the food, music, and festivities! You can mingle with the guests, show off your cute outfit, and even show everyone your best dance moves.
• Remember to thank the newlyweds for including you in their special day. It is also thoughtful to send them a thank-you note or gift after the wedding to show your appreciation.

Being a ring bearer is a fun and exciting role, and your participation will make the wedding day even more memorable for the newlyweds and the guests. Enjoy the reception and continue to be your awesome self!

How to be confident

Confidence is an important trait for a ring bearer to have. Here are some tips to help you feel more confident on the big day:

Know Your Role

First, understand your role as a ring bearer. You are an important part of the wedding party and have a big responsibility. Read books like "The Ring Bearer" by Laura Godwin or "You're Going to Be a Ring Bearer" by Jacqueline Hook to learn about the duties of a ring bearer and the excitement of a wedding day. These books will help you know what to expect and feel more confident about your role.

Practice Makes Perfect

If you're nervous about walking down the aisle, practice beforehand. Walk with pretend rings and get comfortable with your pace. You can even set up a mock aisle at home to get a feel for the real thing. The more you practice, the more confident you'll feel on the wedding day.

Dress Rehearsal

Another way to boost your confidence is to participate in a dress rehearsal. Try on your outfit and get familiar with how it feels. Walk around, practice sitting down, and get a sense of how to move comfortably in your wedding attire. This will help you feel more confident and at ease on the day of the wedding.

Talk About Your Feelings

It's normal to feel nervous, and it's important to talk about your feelings with a trusted adult or the couple getting married. They can offer reassurance and help you feel more confident. Don't bottle up your worries—share them with someone who can support you.

Focus on the Joy

Remember that weddings are joyful occasions. Your role as a ring bearer is a privilege, and you are contributing to a happy celebration. Focus on the positive aspects of the day, and let the joy of the occasion fill you with confidence. Smile, have fun, and enjoy being a part of this special moment.

By following these tips and remembering your importance to the wedding party, you can feel confident and proud as you perform your duties as a ring bearer.

Frequently asked questions