Ring Bearer's Entrance: When And How?

The ring bearer is a cherished part of any wedding ceremony, usually a young boy between the ages of 3 and 10. However, there are no steadfast rules, and the role can be performed by a girl or even a pet! The ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle, presenting them at the altar during the ceremony. In a traditional wedding procession, the ring bearer walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the flower girl.

The ring bearer's role and history

The Ring bearer is a direct name for his role – to carry the rings down the aisle to the altar. The ring bearer is usually a young boy, between the ages of 3 and 10, and a relative or close friend of the couple. In a traditional wedding procession, the ring bearer comes down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids, directly before the flower girls who precede the bride.

The ring bearer carries something, often a pillow or ring box, that holds the wedding rings the couple is going to exchange. Once they get to the altar, the ring bearer typically hands the rings off to either the officiant or the best man. Then, depending on the ring bearer’s age and length of the ceremony, they can either stand with the rest of the party at the altar or sit down.

The tradition of having a ring bearer is believed to date back to ancient Egypt, where it was customary for a young boy to carry precious gems and jewels to the altar on a decorative pillow. In medieval times, Northern Europeans began to present the bride with her wedding ring on the tip of a sword. In medieval matrimonies, ring bearers would present the betrothed couple with their rings atop a sword. This tradition is believed to have been adapted from the Victorian-era page boy, who would assist the bride down the aisle by carrying the back of her train. The page boy was usually closely related to the marrying couple in some way.

Today, the ring bearer's role is flexible. Some couples choose to have a girl as a ring bearer, or even a pet! Many modern ring bearers carry an alternative item, such as a sign or a box with fake rings.

Who can be a ring bearer?

The role of ring bearer is typically given to young children, usually boys, aged between 3 and 8 years old. However, there is no steadfast rule when it comes to choosing a ring bearer, and the role can be performed by anyone the couple wishes to bestow the honour upon.

The ring bearer is often a young family member, such as the nephew of the bride, godchild of the groom, younger sibling, or the child of the maid of honour, best man, or another close friend. If the couple has a son or daughter, this can be a great way to include them in the wedding party.

If the couple does not have children and does not wish to include them in the wedding, a recent trend is to have an adult friend or family member act as the ring bearer. This could be a grandparent, adult cousin, or even the couple's pet.

When choosing a ring bearer, it is important to consider the age and maturity level of the individual. If the ring bearer is very young, they may have trouble paying attention or following directions. If they are a teenager, they may be less enthusiastic about the role. The ideal age range is between 5 and 10 years old, as this is considered young enough to be cute, yet old enough to follow directions.

It is also important to obtain permission from the parents of the ring bearer, especially if they are young. The ring bearer's parents will typically be responsible for explaining the ring bearer's duties to their child, paying for their outfit and accessories, and attending all pre-wedding festivities.

Choosing a ring bearer

Age and Gender

Ring bearers are typically young boys between the ages of 2 and 10 years old. They are usually between the ages of 3 and 8, as this is an age range where they are considered cute and can follow directions. However, there are no steadfast rules regarding gender or age. The ring bearer can be a boy, girl, or non-binary, and can be older or younger depending on your preferences.

Relationship to the Couple

The ring bearer is usually someone close to the couple, such as a nephew, godchild, cousin, sibling, or the child of a close friend, the maid of honour, or the best man. This way, the couple will have a special memory and bond with this person.

Number of Ring Bearers

You can have more than one ring bearer if you want. Older children can accompany younger ones by pulling them in a wagon, or each attendant can have a different role, such as carrying the rings or holding a sign.

Responsibilities of the Ring Bearer

The ring bearer is responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. They can carry the rings on a pillow, in a box, or get creative with alternatives such as a softball glove or a banner. To avoid the risk of losing the rings, some couples choose to have the ring bearer carry fake rings, while the best man or maid of honour carries the real ones.

Attire

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the wedding party and match the formality of the event. For formal and semi-formal weddings, a kid-sized tuxedo or suit is traditional. Accessories such as suspenders, a bow tie, or a hat can be added to match the wedding theme. The ring bearer's parents typically pay for the outfit, but the couple may choose to purchase it as a gift.

Inviting the Ring Bearer

Before choosing a ring bearer, it is important to decide if you are inviting children to your wedding. If you are having an adults-only wedding, you can still have a ring bearer and/or flower girl. If you do invite children, the ring bearer should be invited to the reception and seated with their parents or in a designated kids' area.

Duties of a ring bearer

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, between the ages of 3 and 10, and someone close to the couple. He is responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle to the altar. Here is a detailed breakdown of the duties of a ring bearer:

Attire

The ring bearer should wear a cute, comfortable, and formal outfit. A tux, suspenders, a bow tie, a classic page boy attire, or even a superhero costume are all great options. The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the wedding party's attire and match the level of formality of the event.

Rehearsal

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal if invited. This will help him feel like part of the wedding party and ease any nerves on the big day.

Parents' Involvement

The parents of the ring bearer play an essential role. They should be involved in planning logistics, such as timing for snacks and naps, and handling any meltdowns. They may even walk alongside the ring bearer if needed.

Walking Down the Aisle

The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the bridesmaids and groomsmen, carrying the ring pillow or another creative prop with the wedding rings. If there is a flower girl, she will follow the ring bearer and introduce the bride. There is no specific rule for the wedding party lineup, so it's also adorable for the kids to walk together.

At the Altar

The ring bearer carries the rings to the altar and hands them to the officiant or best man. Depending on his age and comfort level, he can then stand with the wedding party or be seated next to his parents or a family member.

Photos and Grand Entrance

The ring bearer should be present for photos with the wedding party after the ceremony. Depending on his age and comfort level, he may also join the grand entrance during the introduction of the wedding party.

Fake or Real Rings

It is up to the couple to decide if the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or fake/symbolic rings. If the ring bearer is very young, it is safer to give him fake rings to avoid any potential disasters.

What should a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party. It should match the level of formality of the wedding and coordinate with the groom or groomsmen's attire.

The most common approach is for the ring bearer to wear a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still tying into the groom's look.

Another option is for the ring bearer to wear the same outfit as the groomsmen, making him feel like "one of the guys". In this case, the accessories (long tie, bow tie and pocket square) can be matched to the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, they can wear just the pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders and shoes. Alternatively, a toddler's tuxedo can be purchased, although this is less common as toddlers may struggle to carry out their duties and will likely outgrow the outfit quickly.

It is recommended to have the ring bearer try on clothes before ordering to ensure a proper fit, and to not have them measured more than 3-4 weeks before the wedding, as children grow quickly.

The ring bearer's parents typically pay for their outfit, although the bride and groom may opt to purchase it as a gift.

Frequently asked questions