Asking The Ring Bearer: Be Part Of Our Wedding

Asking a child to be your ring bearer is a heartwarming gesture and there are many creative ways to do it. Firstly, it's important to ask the child's parents for permission and ensure they are happy with the time and financial commitment involved. You can then get creative with your proposal to the child. Consider personalised invitations, surprise gift boxes, a message in a balloon, or even a cute sibling proposal. You could also bake custom treats with messages like Will you be our ring bearer?. It's also a good idea to explain the role of a ring bearer to the child, so they understand the importance of the task.

Ask the parents first

Asking a child to be your ring bearer is a heartwarming gesture, but it's important to remember that you should always ask their parents first. This is the most crucial aspect of inviting a child to be part of your wedding party. By doing so, you can ensure the parents are comfortable with the time and financial commitments involved. It also allows them to make any necessary arrangements or travel plans. Here are some tips to guide you through the process:

Ask Both Parents

It is essential to get consent from both parents before proceeding. This shows your respect for their family dynamics and ensures that everyone is on the same page. It also provides an opportunity to discuss any special needs or considerations that may impact the child's participation.

Provide Adequate Notice

When asking the parents, be sure to give them as much notice as possible. The earlier you extend the invitation, the better it is for everyone involved. This gives the family ample time to plan and make any necessary arrangements. Keep in mind that they may need to organise travel or accommodations, especially if they are coming from out of town.

Understand the Commitment

When asking the parents, be transparent about the expectations and responsibilities associated with the role. Discuss the financial commitments, including attire expectations, and whether you would like them to purchase specific clothing items or if you will be providing guidance. Be mindful that the parents are usually responsible for the child's attire, so clarity on this matter is essential.

Explain the Child's Role

Provide a clear understanding of the child's role in the wedding. Let the parents know if you are having multiple ring bearers or flower girls, as this may impact their decision. It is also helpful to mention who else is involved in the wedding party, such as siblings or cousins, as this can add to the excitement and help them visualise their child's participation.

Consider the Child's Age

The age of the child will play a significant role in how you approach the invitation. If the child is very young, you may not need to have an elaborate invitation or explanation of their role. For older children, consider including them in some of the planning or bonding activities to make them feel included and excited about the wedding.

Offer a Thoughtful Gift

While asking the parents first is crucial, don't forget to make the invitation exciting and memorable for the child as well. Consider including a thoughtful gift or surprise, such as a personalised invitation, a special gift box, or a message in a balloon. These gestures will not only delight the child but also make them feel honoured to be a part of your special day.

Explain the role

The role of a ring bearer is to deliver the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. The ring bearer is usually a young child, typically between the ages of three and ten, and is often a relative or child of a close friend of the couple.

The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the wedding party and gives the rings to the best man or wedding officiant at the altar. The ring bearer can stand at the altar with the rest of the wedding party or sit with their parents. If the ring bearer is too young to walk, their parent can carry them during the processional, or they can be pulled in a wagon or small car.

The ring bearer usually carries the rings on a pillow, but this is not required. Couples may choose to have the best man carry the rings as a precaution. The ring bearer may carry an empty pillow or a decorative sign, or plastic rings tied to a ribbon on the pillow.

The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for their child's attire and accessories, and it is customary for the couple to give the ring bearer a gift.

Include a gift

Including a gift is a great way to ask your ring bearer to be part of your wedding. Here are some ideas to make your invitation memorable and to show how important their role is:

Personalised Invitations

Create a personalised invitation tailored specifically for your ring bearer. You can design a custom invitation featuring their name, photos, or even hand-drawn illustrations. Consider incorporating elements such as flowers, rings, or playful graphics to make the invitation appealing. This personal touch will make your ring bearer feel extra special and excited about their role.

Surprise Gift Boxes

Prepare a surprise gift box filled with goodies and a special invitation. Use a small, decorated box tied with ribbons or twine. Include items like a handwritten note, a ring bearer card, and perhaps some of their favourite treats or small toys. You could also include a ring bearer puzzle, a ring bearer poem card, or a ring bearer shirt. This thoughtful gesture will make the invitation a delightful surprise and a cherished keepsake.

Message in a Balloon

Inflate a colourful balloon and slip a small message or invitation inside. Attach a string to the balloon and leave it in a place where your ring bearer will easily find it, such as their bedroom. The surprise of popping the balloon and discovering the invitation will fill them with anticipation and joy.

Cute Sibling Proposal

If your ring bearer has an older sibling or cousin participating in the wedding, you can involve them in the invitation. Ask the older child to present the invitation or wear a t-shirt that says, "Will you be my ring bearer?". This adds an adorable twist to the proposal.

Ring Bearer Gifts

There are also some gifts that can help your ring bearer understand their role better. For example, there are children's books that explain the role of a ring bearer, which can act as a gift and an informative guide. You could also get them a "10 cool things about being a ring bearer" book.

Make it fun

Making the experience fun for your ring bearer is a great way to ensure they enjoy being part of your wedding. Here are some ideas to achieve that:

Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse

Make practising fun by creating games out of the process. For example, place taped X marks on the floor for the ring bearer to follow as they walk down the aisle, or have them touch the hands of guests as they go. Keep rehearsals short and sweet, offering treats or rewards when the child does what is asked of them.

Make it a Group Activity

If your ring bearer is feeling shy, consider asking another child of a similar age to join them. This could make the experience more fun and less intimidating. Grouping children by gender may also help to avoid hyperactivity.

Choose the Right Outfit

Pick an outfit that your ring bearer is comfortable in. For example, if they are uncomfortable in a suit, a bow tie and suspenders could be a good alternative. You could also add a conductor hat in your wedding colours. For girls, white ballet flats are often a more comfortable choice of footwear.

Adapt the Role to Their Age

If your ring bearer is very young, tie the wedding rings to a pillow or use fake rings to ensure they are not lost. You could also have the ring bearer pulled down the aisle in a wagon, rather than walking, which is sure to be a fun experience for them.

Give them a card

Asking a child to be your ring bearer is a heartwarming gesture and a wonderful way to make them feel special. A card is a great way to invite them to be a part of your wedding. Here are some ideas to make your card invitation memorable:

Personalised Cards

Make the invitation extra special by including their name, a photo of them, or even a hand-drawn illustration. You can also incorporate flowers, rings, or playful graphics to make the card more appealing and fun. This personal touch will show that you've put thought and effort into asking them to be a part of your big day.

Include a Special Message

Write a heartfelt message inside the card, asking the big question: "Will you be our ring bearer?". You can also include your wedding date and other details to make them feel involved. If they are old enough, explain the significance of their role and how much it would mean to you to have them involved.

Add a Gift

Consider pairing the card with a small gift. This could be something related to your wedding, like a ring pop, or a toy or treat they would enjoy. You could even include a children's book about being a ring bearer, which is both a gift and a way for them to understand their role better. This adds a tangible element to your invitation and gives them something to remember your special day by.

Timing is Important

While you should ask the child's parents as early as possible to ensure they can make the necessary arrangements, it's best to wait until a month or two before the wedding to invite the child. This way, you build excitement without making them wait too long.

Remember, when asking a child to be your ring bearer, it's important to consider their age and tailor your invitation accordingly. A card is a wonderful way to involve them and make them feel honoured to be a part of your wedding day.

Frequently asked questions