The Female Best Man: A Guide To Being One

Being a best man is an honour, and in the 21st century, it's not just an honour reserved for men. A female best man is also known as a best woman, groom's woman, or groom's maid of honour. While the groom's choice of best man is unlikely to be questioned, it's important to consider whether the friend in question would be comfortable performing a role traditionally held by a man. This includes duties such as planning the stag do, giving a speech, and choosing what to wear. It's also important to communicate the choice of best man to the bride-to-be, as having a close friend of the opposite gender could spark jealousy.

What to call a female best man

There are several options for what to call a female best man. The most common terms are "best woman" and "groom's woman", but there are plenty of other options, including:

• Groom's woman
• Best lady
• Best maid
• Best matron
• Groom's attendant
• Groom's maid of honour
• Groom's Right Honourable Señora & Mistress of Ceremonies
• Grooms(wo)man
• Best groomsperson
• Head groomswench
• Grooms maid of honour

Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what to call their female best man, and there are no rules set in stone.

Planning a stag do with a female best man

First Steps

Start by having a chat with the groom. Find out their availability and how long they want the stag do to be. Get a full invite list with contact details for all the guests, and ask about their budget and expectations for the weekend. It's also a good idea to keep the destination a secret from the groom, but make sure this suits them first.

Inviting Guests

Now it's time to send out those invites. Offer two or three potential dates and see which works best for the majority of the group. You'll want firm commitments from the guests to make organising everything a lot easier.

Budgeting and Destination

When deciding on a destination, always consider the logistics for each attendee. You won't be popular if lots of people can't make it because it's too far away. Think about the group's budget and time constraints, too. There's no point planning a week-long trip if only a few people can go.

Accommodation

Once you've decided on a destination, it's time to book suitable accommodation. Hotels are often the easiest option, especially if people drop out, as it's simpler to reduce the number of rooms than ask everyone to contribute more towards a large cottage.

Activities

The expectation for most stag weekends is to include some kind of fun-filled activity. Try to choose something most people will enjoy and that isn't too common. Paintballing is a good option, but only if most of the group haven't already done it before. You could also consider a package deal, which often includes accommodation, activities, and nightlife.

The Guest of Honour

And now, for the most important part: the best woman! It's very common for women to be present on stag dos these days, so the other guests shouldn't be too surprised to see her there. Just make sure to give them a heads-up beforehand. And if there are any activities that might make her feel uncomfortable, like a strip club, be sure to check in with her first.

Gifts

When it comes to gifts for the best woman, you might want to get something personalised. Think of something that represents a shared experience or inside joke. For example, if you've travelled a lot together, you could get something like a compass necklace with an engraved message.

Photos

Don't forget to consider the photo opportunities, too. The bride and groom might want the bridal party to look symmetrical from a gender perspective, so it's worth discussing this with them beforehand to avoid any confusion or issues. And don't forget to give the photographer a heads-up, too, so they don't leave the best woman out of any key pictures.

Dealing with photo symmetry

Traditionally, wedding photos feature the groomsmen on the groom's side and the bridesmaids on the bride's side. If you're a female best man, you can discuss with the couple whether you want to stick to this tradition or stand on the bride's side with the other women. There is no issue with having a female on the male side, but it's worth discussing beforehand to avoid any confusion or issues on the day.

If you decide to stand with the groomsmen, you can give a heads-up to the photographer so they don't leave you out of key photos or direct you to the wrong side. You can also consider the following tips to achieve visually appealing symmetrical photos:

• Use a tripod to keep the camera stable and prevent wobbly or tilted lines and angles.
• Incorporate leading lines, such as a pathway or the line of sight of a model, to direct the viewer's gaze and enhance the symmetry.
• Include reflections in water, glass, or shiny surfaces to create a reflection symmetry.
• Play with partial symmetry by including an object on only one side of the photo to draw the viewer's eye to the symmetry.
• Use symmetrical elements on one side of the composition to draw attention to them or to highlight the blandness of the other side.

Remember, symmetry is just one aspect of composition in photography, and it doesn't have to be perfect. You can also create visually appealing photos by incorporating patterns, balance, and other techniques.

What to wear as a female best man

So, your best mate has asked you to be their best man—how exciting! Now, it's time to think about what you'll wear on the big day.

First things first, you'll want to decide what you feel comfortable in. Most female best men opt for a suit or a tuxedo, often matching the style and colour of the other groomsmen. If you'd prefer to wear a dress, you could opt for a dress that matches the colour scheme of the groomsmen, or you could wear a dress that matches the bridesmaids' outfits. If you're close with the bride-to-be, you could even get ready with them on the day of the wedding and have your hair and makeup done together.

If you want to wear a suit, you could consider adding a corsage to your outfit, instead of a traditional boutonnière. You could also add accessories that match the colour of the groomsmen's ties and vests.

Ultimately, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable and confident. It's also a good idea to discuss your outfit with the other members of the wedding party, to ensure that everyone is happy with the final look.

Gift ideas for a female best man

Being a best man is an honor, and the role comes with important responsibilities. The best man is the groom's chief assistant and confidant. Typically, the best man is responsible for organising a bachelor party, keeping the wedding rings safe, standing next to the groom during the ceremony, acting as a legal witness to the marriage, and preparing a speech.

Traditionally, the role of best man is given to a close male friend or relative. However, in the 21st century, anyone can be a best man, and it is becoming increasingly common for women to take on this role.

When it comes to gift ideas for a female best man, there are several options to consider. Here are some thoughtful and personalised suggestions:

• Personalised items: Get her something unique and tailored to her interests, such as a compass necklace with an engraved message if she loves to travel.
• Experiences: Instead of a physical gift, you could treat her to an experience you can enjoy together, like a spa day or a trip to a destination of her choice.
• Practical gifts: Consider items that she can use long after the wedding, such as a cosy robe, a stylish travel bag, or a personalised jewellery case for all her accessories.
• Sentimental gifts: Opt for something that symbolises your friendship, like a customised photo album, a framed photo of the two of you, or a piece of jewellery with her birthstone.
• Traditional gifts with a twist: If you want to stick to traditional best man gifts, you could get her a bottle of her favourite liquor or some cigars, but with a personalised touch, such as custom engraving.

Remember, the best gift will be something that suits her personality and interests. It's a way to show your appreciation and celebrate your friendship, so choose something thoughtful and meaningful.

Frequently asked questions