Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Asking For Money Gifts

It can be awkward to ask for money as a wedding gift, but it's not considered rude. Many couples already live together and don't need homeware items, or they may be saving for a big purchase like a house or a honeymoon. While it's not OK to ask for money on your wedding invitations, there are several other ways to let your guests know that you'd prefer cash gifts.

Don't ask for money on the invitation itself

It is considered poor etiquette to ask for money on a wedding invitation. Registry information of any kind does not belong on an invitation, but this is especially true when requesting cash or cheque gifts. Asking for money on the invitation itself can come across as greedy, as wedding gifts are not required from guests.

Instead, include the address of your wedding website on an insert card within your stationery suite and detail your registry preferences there. This way, you can explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. For example, you could write: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

Another option is to ask your family members and close friends to spread the word that you'd prefer cash gifts. Guests may ask them what to buy, and they can suggest that guests make a contribution to your savings fund instead. This is a more tactful way to get the message across without directly asking for money on the invitation.

Remember, it's not considered rude to ask for money as a wedding gift, especially if you already feel well-equipped with traditional gifts. However, the way you ask for it is important to ensure you don't offend your guests.

Use a cash or honeymoon registry

Using a cash or honeymoon registry is a great way to ask for money as a wedding gift without causing offence. Here are some tips on how to do it:

Choose a Cash Registry Website

Honeyfund and Zola are two of the most popular cash registry websites. These sites allow guests to make monetary gifts that can be used for long-term projects, building savings, or booking your dream honeymoon. With a cash fund, you can have multiple registry ideas, all with specific names, so guests know what they are contributing to and feel more involved in their gift choice.

Create a Honeymoon Fund

If you're dreaming of an epic honeymoon, a honeymoon fund is a modern alternative to a traditional registry. It's becoming more common for couples to ask guests to contribute to their honeymoon, and etiquette experts agree that it's perfectly acceptable. When creating your honeymoon fund, be descriptive and outline your itinerary so that guests understand what they are contributing towards. You can also break it down into specific items and experiences, such as tours, meals, or room upgrades, to make the gifting experience more personal for your guests.

Provide a Traditional Registry, Too

While you may prefer cash gifts, it's important to remember that some guests will prefer to give a physical gift. They may not be comfortable with the idea of a cash fund, or they may want to give you something more tangible. Therefore, it's a good idea to also register for a few physical gifts, even if they are small or less traditional items. This gives guests plenty of gifting options and puts less pressure on them.

Spread the Word

While you shouldn't put your cash registry on your wedding invitations, you can include an insert card with your wedding website address, where guests can find more information about your registry preferences. You can also ask your family and friends to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts. They are likely to be approached by guests for gift inspiration, so they can help get the message across in a subtle and polite way.

Be Specific About How You'll Spend the Money

Letting guests know how you plan to use the money helps them feel more connected to you and your plans. Whether you're saving for a house, planning a honeymoon, or renovating your home, share the details on your wedding website. This adds a personal touch and makes guests feel that their contribution will have a meaningful impact.

Using a cash or honeymoon registry is a tactful way to ask for money as a wedding gift. By following these tips, you can ensure you receive the gifts that will be most useful to you while also maintaining good etiquette and keeping your guests happy.

Provide a link to your wedding website

Your wedding website is a powerful tool for guests. It's also an ideal place to mention gifts, as it answers any questions that your guests may have about your wedding day that haven't already been answered on the invitations. However, it's worth remembering that not all guests will actually visit the website. If you go down this route, set up an FAQ page so it looks like you're addressing the issue of gifts because you've already had questions about it.

Be sure to create a wedding site and link to it from your wedding invitations. You can also include an insert card with your wedding website address. This will indirectly guide guests to your registry and help them see that you've registered for cash gifts.

Add a section to your wedding website that talks about your preferences for gifts, and mention that you'd love cash donations or honeymoon contributions. You can include a simple message like:

> "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts."

Follow this with what you're hoping to spend the money on. For example, if you're in the middle of a big project, like renovating your home or moving across the country, let guests know about it. Adding a more personal touch with the story of how the project got started and the pitfalls you've faced along the way will make your guests feel more connected to your lives and also serve as a plea for help that they'll be more inclined to answer.

> "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

> "The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

> "Thank you for being a part of our special day. If you feel inclined to give us a wedding gift, a contribution towards our [insert cash fund] would greatly help us start newlywed life off right."

Tell close friends and family members

While it is generally considered a faux pas to ask for money on your wedding invitations, there are other ways to let your close friends and family members know that you would prefer cash gifts or donations. Here are some suggestions on how to politely ask for money instead of physical gifts when speaking to those closest to you:

• Share your plans for the money: Weaving in some of your personal story can be a cute and respectful way to ask for money. For example, you could say, "We're saving for our first home together, so if you were thinking of giving us a gift, we would be so grateful for any contributions towards that." This helps your guests picture what they are contributing towards and makes a financial gift feel more meaningful.
• Explain why you are asking for money: If you and your partner have lived together for a while, you could explain that you already have all the homeware items you need. You could say something like, "As we've lived together for a few years, we already have all the household items we need. So, if you were thinking of getting us a gift, we would really appreciate a financial contribution that we can put towards our honeymoon."
• Provide alternative options: Some guests may prefer to give a physical gift, so it's a good idea to offer other alternatives. You could say, "Of course, if you'd prefer to give a gift, we are registered at [store name] and have a small selection of items we would love."
• Ask your close friends and family to spread the word: Letting your inner circle know that you would prefer cash gifts means they can answer any questions from other guests. This also takes the pressure off you to field these questions yourself. You could say, "Please don't feel any pressure to bring a gift, but if you were thinking of giving us something, we would be so grateful for a financial contribution towards our honeymoon. Feel free to spread the word!"

Remember, it's essential to be tactful and considerate when asking for money, and always emphasise that their presence at your wedding is the most important gift of all.

Talk about how you plan to use the money

It's your big day, and you want to be able to communicate your wishes clearly. Asking for money as a wedding gift can be done in a respectful, thoughtful, and cute way. Here are some ideas for how to talk about your plans for the money:

Share Your Story

If you're feeling awkward about asking for money, weaving in some of your personal story can be a great way to connect with your guests and help them understand your request. For example, you could say: "As we've lived together for a year or two, we really don't need anything new. But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift, some money for our future wouldn't go amiss." This approach adds a personal touch and makes your guests feel more involved in your plans.

Be Specific About Your Goals

Letting your guests know your specific goals and plans for the money can make a monetary gift feel more meaningful and purposeful. For instance, you could share that you're saving for a down payment on your first home as a married couple or that you're planning to renovate your current home to start a family. This way, your guests know their contribution is helping you achieve a significant milestone.

Share Your Honeymoon Dreams

If you're planning a honeymoon, sharing your excitement about it and providing details can be a fun way to ask for monetary contributions. You could say something like: "We're over the moon to be travelling to [location] for our honeymoon. If you'd like to help make the experience even more amazing, we've set up a honeymoon fund at [details here]." This approach adds a touch of adventure and romance to your request.

Emphasize Their Presence is a Gift

While you value your guests' contributions, it's important to emphasize that their presence at your wedding is the most important gift. You could say: "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome as we save for our first home." This approach ensures your guests know their attendance is what matters most.

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website

Creating a wedding website gives you a dedicated space to share your plans for the money and allows guests to easily access this information. Include a section on your website that talks about your gift preferences, and mention that you'd welcome cash donations or contributions towards specific goals, like your honeymoon.

Remember, it's essential to be tactful and considerate when asking for money as a wedding gift. These suggestions will help you communicate your wishes respectfully while also giving your guests a sense of the impact their contributions will have.

Frequently asked questions