Inclusivity In Wedding Planning: Plus Guest Invitations

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list and plus-ones. Deciding who gets a plus-one and how to notify them can be tricky, but there are some widely accepted guidelines and etiquette rules to help you through the process. Firstly, it's important to consider your budget and venue capacity when deciding on the number of plus-ones. Traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabitating guests receive a plus-one, as do members of the bridal party and outlier guests who won't know many people at the wedding. When addressing invitations, a simple way to indicate a plus-one is to write and guest after the guest's name, both on the envelope and the inner invitation or RSVP card.

Addressing the envelope

When addressing the envelope of a wedding invitation, there are a few options to indicate that the invitee can bring a plus one.

If you are using a traditional wedding invitation with an outer and inner envelope, the outer envelope should include the name of the recipient (the guest you know personally). The inner envelope should then list the names of all invitees, including children or plus-ones. For example, "Mrs. Valerie Smith and Guest".

If you are only using one envelope, or sending an online invitation, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. If the couple is attending together, list both guests by their full names. If you are allowing a guest to bring a casual date, write your friend's name and then "and guest". For example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest".

Some other ways to indicate a plus one include writing the guest's name on the outer envelope and adding "and guest" on the inner envelope or RSVP card. Alternatively, you can include a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".

Wording the invitation

The wording of your wedding invitation is important, as it lets your guests know whether or not they are invited with a plus-one. The most common way to indicate this is to write "and guest" on the envelope, after the guest's name. For example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest". This is a clear way to let your guest know they are invited with a plus-one.

If you are sending an online invitation, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. If the couple is invited, list both guests by their full names. If you are allowing a guest to bring a casual date, write your friend's name and then "and guest".

If you are sending paper invitations, you can include an inner envelope. On the outer envelope, write the guest's name. On the inner envelope, write the guest's name and "and guest". This is a more discreet way of letting your guest know they are invited with a plus-one, as the outer envelope will not indicate this.

If you are inviting a married couple, it is best to invite both, even if you are closer to one person. Address the envelope to both parties, and include both names on the inner envelope as well. If the couple lives separately, send two separate invitations, addressed to each individual. If you don't have their partner's details, it is acceptable to address the invitation to the primary guest only and include their partner's name inside.

If you are inviting a couple who lives together but is unmarried, address both names on the outside and inside of the invitation. If you are unsure of their living situation, do not include the name of their partner, as this could cause confusion or awkwardness if they are no longer together. Instead, use "invited guest".

If you are inviting single guests who will know other people at the wedding, you do not need to give them a plus-one. However, if you are inviting single guests who won't know many other people, it is a nice gesture to allow them to bring a plus-one so they don't feel out of place.

If you are inviting members of the couple's immediate family, wedding party members, or couples who are engaged, living together, or in a serious relationship, it is standard etiquette to offer them a plus-one.

If you are working with a limited budget or venue capacity, you may not be able to offer every guest a plus-one. In this case, be selective and only give plus-ones where you think they are needed. You can also create an "A" list of guests who will receive a plus-one, and a "B" list of guests who will not, or who will receive a plus-one if your budget allows.

When it comes to wording your invitations, be mindful of the dynamics of your guest list and try to accommodate as many plus-ones as possible to make your guests feel welcome and comfortable.

Who gets a plus one

Deciding who gets a plus one at your wedding can be tricky, but there are some general rules of etiquette to help you decide.

• Married, engaged, and cohabitating guests: It is generally considered good etiquette to invite spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of guests to your wedding. This is often considered a "package deal" and should be extended to all, even if you haven't met them or aren't particularly fond of them.
• Members of the bridal party: It is customary to offer a plus-one to members of the bridal party, even if their partner or date is not involved in the wedding. This is a way to thank them for their time, effort, and support.
• Out-of-town guests: Guests who are travelling and may not know many other attendees are usually given plus-one privileges so they don't feel out of place or lonely.
• Serious or long-term couples: If you don't know the primary guest's partner well, it is common to extend a plus-one invitation to friends and family in serious or long-term relationships.

Who Doesn't Get a Plus One?

• New couples or those casually dating: You don't need to feel pressured to include new couples or those casually dating on your plus-one list.
• Single guests who know everyone: If your single guests will have friends or family at the wedding, there is no need to extend a plus one.

How to Notify Guests

When it comes to notifying your guests about plus ones, it is best to be clear and upfront. If using traditional wedding invitations with an outer and inner envelope, the outer envelope should be addressed to the recipient, while the inner envelope lists the names of those invited, including any plus ones. For modern invitations with only one envelope, address all invitees clearly, listing couples by their full names, and writing the primary guest's name followed by "and guest" if they are allowed a plus one.

Other Considerations

When deciding on your plus-one policy, it is important to keep your budget, venue capacity, and the number of people you want present at your wedding in mind. You may also want to consider the social dynamics of the evening and how plus ones will affect your seating chart.

Tips for Guests

Plus-one etiquette also applies to guests. It is important not to bring an uninvited guest or substitute a different name on the invitation. If you are unsure whether you can bring a plus one, it is best to politely ask the couple.

Who doesn't get a plus one

Deciding who doesn't get a plus one can be tricky, but there are some general guidelines to follow. Here are some tips to help you navigate this delicate issue:

Guests Who Are Casually Dating

If the invited guest has a new significant other every few months or hasn't been dating the same person for more than a year, giving them a plus one is not a priority. However, if your budget allows, you can offer a last-minute plus one. It is advisable to include only the name of the single guest on the save-the-date and decide later if you want to allow them to bring a guest when sending out invitations.

Coworkers

Coworkers can be tricky, even without the issue of plus ones. To keep it simple and stress-free, treat all coworkers equally. If one coworker gets a plus one, consider extending the same courtesy to everyone in your workplace.

Single Guests Who Will Know Other Guests

If you're inviting guests who are single and will know other people at the wedding, they likely don't need a plus one. These guests will have a great time surrounded by familiar faces, even without bringing a date.

New Couples or Those Casually Dating

If your cousin hasn't brought the same date to family events for the year, they probably don't need to bring their latest Tinder date to your wedding. You can save plus ones for more established couples.

Single Guests Who Know Everyone

If you have a close-knit family or friend group where everyone knows each other, there's no pressure to extend a plus one. Your single guests will feel comfortable and included without needing to bring a date.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and ultimately, the decision is up to you and your partner. Be consistent and considerate in your approach, and don't be afraid to set clear criteria for who gets a plus one to make the process easier.

Seating arrangements

Once you've decided who will receive a plus-one, the next step is to consider the seating arrangements. It's important to put some thought into this to ensure your guests feel comfortable and welcomed. Here are some tips for creating a seating plan that takes plus-ones into account:

• Avoid seating singles between couples. For single guests, few things are more awkward than being sandwiched between a married couple or a PDA-heavy pair.
• Instead of creating a "singles-only" table, which might give off the wrong impression, place single guests between outgoing and friendly couples they'll likely get along with. This will create a more communal feel to the event and help them meet people organically.
• Be mindful of personalities and relationships when creating your seating plan. Avoid seating guests or plus-ones next to others they may have issues with. The last thing you want is guest drama at your wedding.
• If you have guests who won't know many other attendees, be sure to seat them with people they'll get along with.
• If you have older guests who may need assistance, consider seating them with family members or close friends who can help them throughout the event.
• If you're using place cards, be sure to include the names of both the guest and their plus-one, even if you haven't met them before. It's worth putting in the effort to get to know them and ensure they feel welcomed.
• If you have a head table for the wedding party, be sure to seat them with their plus-ones as well.
• If you have guests with mobility issues or other special needs, take this into account when creating your seating plan. Ensure they are seated in a comfortable location with easy access to amenities.
• Consider the dynamics of your guest list and how plus-ones will fit into the overall atmosphere of your wedding. You want to create a positive and comfortable environment for everyone.

Frequently asked questions