Addressing Wedding Invites: To Include Or Not?

Wedding invitations are traditionally made up of an inner and an outer envelope. The outer envelope contains the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage. The inner envelope is less formal and usually includes only the name(s) of the invitee(s). While this tradition is no longer mandatory, many brides continue to follow it for formal invitations. When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use the complete, formal names of the invitees and to avoid abbreviations or nicknames. The level of formality of the wedding and the relationship with the invitees will also determine the tone of the invitation.

Inner and outer envelopes

Wedding invitations traditionally feature an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope serves to protect the inner envelope and its contents from damage during delivery. It is also more formal and includes the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage. The outer envelope is usually addressed only to the heads of the household.

The inner envelope is less formal and typically includes the names of everyone invited to the wedding, such as children or additional family members. It is not sealed with a gummed flap but is either tucked inside or sealed with a sticker on top of the flap. The inner envelope should be addressed as if hand-delivered.

Married Couple with the Same Last Name

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple with Different Last Names

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Single Female

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if under 18)

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"

Single Male

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"

Family with Children

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson" or "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

Abbreviations

When it comes to addresses, it is preferable to write out street numbers and state names in full. For example, write "California" instead of "CA". However, the United States Postal Service (USPS) would rather you use standard abbreviations for states. Either option is acceptable, and it is ultimately up to your personal judgment.

It is also important to note that the "and guest" should be written in lowercase for guests bringing guests.

Handwritten vs. printed

Wedding invitations are traditionally handwritten, but printed invitations are also common and can save time and money.

Handwritten Wedding Invitations

Handwritten wedding invitations are traditional and can add a personal touch to your wedding. They are also seen as more formal and elegant. However, they can be time-consuming and costly, especially if you have a large guest list. If you choose to handwrite your invitations, it is important to use black ink and ensure that the addresses are legible for the post office.

Printed Wedding Invitations

Printed wedding invitations are a more modern approach and can be a cost-effective and convenient option. You can use a script or calligraphy font to make them look more elegant, and there are also options to purchase fancy address labels or envelopes with pre-printed addresses. Printed invitations may be more prone to errors, so it is important to proofread carefully.

Both handwritten and printed wedding invitations have their advantages and disadvantages. If you have beautiful handwriting or want to add a personal touch, handwritten invitations may be the best choice. However, if you are short on time or have a large guest list, printed invitations could be a more practical option. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you are inviting your loved ones to share your special day, and most guests are unlikely to judge you based on the addressing method.

Formality

Outer Envelope

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and contains the mailing address, postage, and return address. Traditionally, this envelope should be handwritten in black ink and include the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage. Abbreviations should be avoided, with titles, street names, and state names written out in full. However, standard abbreviations, such as "CA" for "California," are also acceptable.

For married couples with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. If the couple has different last names, their names can be listed separately with the woman's name first, or alphabetically. Unmarried couples living together are addressed on separate lines or the same line, with the person closest to the invitee listed first.

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope is less formal and traditionally contains only the names of the invited guests. It is not sealed and is tucked inside or loosely sealed with a wax stamp. This envelope is addressed as if hand-delivered and can include first names only or a combination of titles and last names.

Single Envelopes

In modern times, it is common to send invitations in a single envelope. In this case, the outer envelope rules above can be followed, omitting the inner envelope.

When it comes to formality, it is generally advised to err on the side of formality for weddings, especially if the event is more traditional. Using full names, proper titles, and avoiding abbreviations are key aspects of a formal wedding invitation. Handwriting the envelopes in black ink and including all the necessary information, such as full addresses and postage, also adds to the formality.

However, for casual weddings, such as a backyard barbecue or a picnic, less formal addressing may be acceptable. This could include leaving off titles, using first names only, or using more informal language. Ultimately, the level of formality will depend on the wedding's style and the couple's preferences.

Titles and prefixes

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use the correct titles and prefixes for your guests. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• For a married couple with the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
• If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first, or list them separately in alphabetical order.
• When addressing an unmarried couple, list their names on one line or separately in alphabetical order by last name.
• For single women, use "Ms." if she is over 18, and "Miss" if she is under 18.
• Single men can be addressed as "Mr." if they are over 18. Otherwise, no title is necessary.
• If one of the guests has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military officer, or judge, this should be included in the address. The person with the title is usually listed first, regardless of gender.
• When addressing families, list the parents' names first, followed by the children's names in order of age. Female children under 18 can be addressed as "Miss".
• It is considered more formal to write out titles and addresses in full (e.g. "Street" instead of "St.") but abbreviations are also acceptable.

Frequently asked questions