Popping The Question: Asking Your Wedding Party

Asking your chosen companions to be by your side on your wedding day is a big deal. While it can feel like a daunting task, it should be a fun and memorable experience. Here are some creative ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Bridesmaids

- Send a gift—from macarons to personalised puzzles, balloons, or jewellery.

- Host a get-together—a wine-tasting, movie night, or brunch.

- Give them a call—ask over the phone or via video call if they're far away.

- Send a formal invitation.

- Ask in person—over dinner or lunch.

Groomsmen

- Send a formal invitation.

- Give a gift—something related to their interests or your wedding, like cufflinks or a cigar.

- Ask all at once—gather your group and give a speech.

- Send a gift box—filled with items like sunglasses, a drink, or their favourite spirits with a custom label.

- Ask with an accessory—like cufflinks, watches, or a tie.

- Send a card—a simple, light-hearted card with a funny one-liner.

Gifts for bridesmaids

While it is not mandatory to give gifts when asking your friends to be your bridesmaids, it is a thoughtful gesture and a great way to show your excitement and appreciation. Here are some gift ideas to consider when asking your friends to be your bridesmaids:

Personalized Gifts

Personalized gifts are a great way to show your bridesmaids how much you care. Consider getting them personalized compact mirrors, hip flasks, or whiskey glasses. You can also personalize gifts like tote bags, cosmetic cases, and travel jewelry boxes with their names, initials, or roles as bridesmaids.

Self-Care Packages

Curate a self-care package for your bridesmaids with items like scented candles, bath bombs, essential oils, face masks, or a set of press-on nails. You can also include a silk sleep mask, a satin bath robe, or a pair of plush bridal party slippers for them to relax and get ready for the big day.

Jewelry

A piece of jewelry is a timeless option for a bridesmaid proposal gift. Consider getting them a dainty beaded bracelet, a necklace with their initials, or a ring with a love knot design. You can also opt for a birthstone-inspired gift, like a wellness tea set that changes color based on their birthstone.

Food and Drinks

Edible gifts are always a hit! Design customized M&M's with on-theme clipart or photos, or opt for a gourmet candy box with celebratory snacks like Champagne Bears and Pink Diamonds. If your bridesmaids are tea or coffee lovers, you can gift them a personalized tea or coffee blend. For a fun twist, include a bottle of bubbly or their favorite wine with custom labels.

Creative Gifts

Get creative with your bridesmaid proposals by gifting them a puzzle with a personalized picture and message, a set of assorted cookies, or a super cute disposable camera to capture the memories. You can also give them a silk scrunchie, trendy hair clips, or a bucket hat with an embroidered message.

Remember, when choosing gifts for your bridesmaids, consider your budget, the number of people in your bridal party, and the theme or location of your wedding. Most importantly, let your gifts reflect your excitement and gratitude for their presence in your life and their support on your special day!

Asking in person

Asking your bridal party to be a part of your wedding in person is a great way to make your request feel more meaningful and memorable. While it can be a daunting task, it doesn't have to be stressful. Here are some tips and ideas to help you ask your bridesmaids and groomsmen in person:

Planning and Preparation:

Before you pop the question, take some time to plan and prepare. Decide who you want to be in your bridal party, keeping in mind that these are usually the people closest to you, such as siblings, close relatives, and friends. Consider the size of your bridal party in proportion to your wedding. While it's not necessary to have an equal number of attendants, you may want to discuss the total number of people with your partner.

Timing:

If you're having a long engagement, you don't need to rush into asking your bridal party. It's generally a good idea to ask them eight months to one year in advance. This gives you enough time to plan and also ensures that your friendships remain strong in the lead up to your wedding.

Making the Ask:

When it comes to asking in person, you can make it a special moment by incorporating a gift or doing it during a fun activity. Here are some ideas:

• Gifts: You can give them a gift that is meaningful to them or directly related to your wedding, such as a monogrammed pair of cufflinks, a matching tie, or a groomsman starter pack with items like a shaving kit and cufflinks. For bridesmaids, you could consider gifts like macarons, personalized puzzles, balloons, or jewellery.
• Activities: Invite your bridal party over for a fun activity, such as a backyard BBQ, a game night, or watching a sports game. During the event, you can hand out "Will you be my bridesmaid/groomsman?" cards or pop the question verbally.
• Face-to-face: If you're meeting with them individually, make it a special moment by going to a nice location or doing an activity you both enjoy. You can ask the question over coffee, during a hike, or even at the beach.
• Involve your partner: If you and your partner are both comfortable, you can plan to ask your bridal parties together. This can be a fun way to involve your partner in the process and make it a memorable experience for everyone.
• Be creative: If you want to add a touch of creativity, you can incorporate themes or inside jokes into your ask. For example, you could create a bouquet of flowers with a personalized note or come up with a clever one-liner, such as "You'd probably scrub up well" or "Your service as a groomsman is required."
• Keep it simple: Remember, the most important part of your request is that it comes from the heart. You don't need to go overboard with elaborate plans. A sincere and straightforward ask is often more than enough, especially if you're asking close friends or family members.

Remember, asking your bridal party to be a part of your wedding is an honour, and they will likely be thrilled to be included. Don't stress too much about the details, and instead focus on making it a fun and meaningful experience for everyone involved.

Asking groomsmen with cigars

Smoking cigars is a popular tradition at weddings, and they can be a great gift to give to your groomsmen. If you're looking for a way to ask your groomsmen to be a part of your wedding, why not consider gifting them cigars? Here are some ideas to make it special:

Choose the Right Cigars

Firstly, you'll want to select cigars that are unique and help commemorate the occasion. Consider the flavour, smoking characteristics, and burn time when making your selection. There are various flavours to choose from, including woodsy, fruity, coffee, and oak. If you're looking for a longer burn time, go for wooden matches instead of butane lighters. Also, pay attention to the head and foot of the cigar, as well as the filler and wrapper. The wrapper contributes significantly to the cigar's flavour, so choose one that aligns with your groomsmen's tastes.

Timing is Key

While you may be tempted to light up during the ceremony, it's best to refrain from doing so. Instead, opt for enjoying cigars with your groomsmen before or after the main event. You can use this time to bond and calm any wedding jitters or anxiety. Whether it's before the ceremony as you get ready or during the reception when you can relax and celebrate, timing is essential to ensure the cigars enhance the experience without interfering with the wedding itself.

Create a Memorable Moment

Make the moment of asking your groomsmen special by creating a memorable experience. You can personalise the moment by adding a custom touch, such as engraved or etched accessories. Consider pairing the cigars with other gifts, like whiskey or cognac, to create a sophisticated gift set. You can even include accessories like a cigar case, lighter, or glasses. Presenting a well-thought-out gift set shows your groomsmen that you appreciate them and value their role in your wedding.

Go the Extra Mile

If you want to make a lasting impression, you can go beyond the cigars themselves and create a themed experience. For example, you could organise a poker night with cigars and whiskey, providing an enjoyable evening for your groomsmen while also incorporating the cigar tradition. Alternatively, you could create a sophisticated lounge setting, complete with personalised decor and a well-stocked bar, to elevate the experience and provide a unique backdrop for your groomsmen to enjoy their cigars.

Remember, when asking your groomsmen with cigars, it's essential to consider their tastes and preferences. Ensure they are comfortable with cigars, and if they are new to smoking, provide them with the necessary accessories and guidance to enjoy the experience fully.

Asking groomsmen with a formal invitation

Send a Formal Invitation

Craft a beautifully written invitation to your soon-to-be groomsmen, expressing your desire for them to be part of your wedding party. This approach allows you to convey your thoughts and feelings effectively, which might be challenging during a face-to-face conversation. A formal invitation also provides your groomsmen with a tangible keepsake of the occasion.

Host an Event

If you have multiple groomsmen, consider inviting them all to a special event, such as a backyard barbecue, a hiking trip, or even your engagement party. Once everyone is together and enjoying themselves, give a short speech about why these individuals are so important to you and why you want them by your side on your wedding day. Then, pop the question and ask them to be your groomsmen. This approach fosters a sense of camaraderie among your groomsmen, making future wedding-related gatherings even more enjoyable.

Send a Themed Gift Box

Curate a themed gift box that not only delights your groomsmen but also hints at your proposal. For example, if you're having a beach wedding, send a box with sunscreen, stylish shades, and a refreshing drink. Alternatively, for a more formal wedding, include a bow tie, a bottle opener, and a craft beverage in the gift set. Don't forget to add a personal touch, such as a handwritten note expressing your excitement for them to join your wedding party.

Present an Accessory They Can Wear

Gifting your groomsmen-to-be with elegant accessories they can wear on your big day is a practical and stylish way to pop the question. Consider items like cufflinks, watches, dress shoes, bow ties, or chic pocket squares. You can even match these accessories to your wedding color scheme, choosing a different color for each groomsman based on their personalities or usual style.

Offer a Monogrammed Gift

Monogrammed gifts add a personalized touch to your proposal. Present your groomsmen with items like monogrammed cufflinks, pocket squares, or ties that complement your wedding color palette. You can also go the extra mile and include a cigar, specifically intended to be lit up after the wedding ceremony, or a drink glass with a "Will you be my groomsman?" custom label.

Asking bridesmaids with a card

Asking your closest friends to be your bridesmaids is a wonderful opportunity to show them how important they are to you. Sending a card is a great way to do this, especially if your friends live far away. You could also include a small gift or treat with the card, if you wish. Here are some ideas for asking bridesmaids with a card:

Choose a Card Design

The design of the card can be fun and playful or elegant and sentimental. You could include a custom illustration of you and your friend on the card, or a photo of the two of you. You could also opt for a card with a funny pop culture reference, or a simple elegant design. If you want to include a gift with the card, you could choose a card with a silk ribbon, or a card that comes with a gift box.

What to Write in the Card

You could write a heartfelt message to each person, letting them know why you want them by your side on your big day. You could also include a funny message, such as "Now act surprised like you had no idea this was coming" or "It's my turn to pop the question." Other ideas include:

• "I can't say 'I do' without you."
• "My 'I do' would not be the same without you."
• "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue—and you."
• "It wouldn't be a bridal party without you."
• "Will you help make the best day ever even better by being my bridesmaid?"

When to Send the Cards

It's a good idea to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids around two to three months after you get engaged. This gives your friends plenty of time to prepare for the wedding.

Frequently asked questions