Asking Bridesmaids: When Is The Right Time After Engagement?

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of getting engaged. But how soon after getting engaged should you ask your bridesmaids?

There are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to wait until you know your wedding date, as this will help your bridesmaids decide whether they can commit. It's also a good idea to take some time – a few weeks or months – to think about who you want to ask. This is especially important if your wedding is happening a year or two after your engagement. It's also beneficial to know as many wedding details as possible before asking, such as the type of bridal shower and bachelorette party you want, as this may determine how big your bridal party should be.

In terms of timing, it's generally recommended to ask your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. Asking too early can lead to people declining your offer if they don't want to commit so far in advance. On the other hand, if you have a shorter engagement, make sure you give your bridal party at least five to eight months' notice. This will give them enough time to plan and commit to being there for all the events leading up to the wedding.

So, while it's ultimately up to you and there's no one-size-fits-all answer, taking these factors into consideration will help you decide on the perfect timing for asking your bridesmaids.

Don't ask before you have a date

It is important to wait until you have an official wedding date before asking your desired wedding party members to be your bridesmaids. Asking them before you have a date means that you are essentially holding their personal calendar hostage until you make your plans, which is not fair to them.

Give yourself a grace period of at least 60 days after getting engaged before popping the question to your bridesmaids. During this time, you can start planning how many bridesmaids you want and thinking about what kinds of gifts you want to give them when the time comes to ask them. It is also beneficial to wait until you know more details about your big day so that your bridesmaids can feel good about taking on this role and get excited about your wedding.

If you have a long engagement, it is recommended to wait until 8-12 months before the wedding to ask your bridesmaids. This is because a lot can change in your relationships with your desired bridesmaids during this time. Asking them too early may lead to you having to revoke your request if your partner can't fill their side of the wedding party or if you have a falling out with one of your chosen bridesmaids.

If you have a shorter engagement, make sure to give your bridal party at least 5-8 months' notice so that they can begin planning for the big day.

Take time to think about it

There are a few things to consider before asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding. While it's an exciting part of the wedding planning process, it's important to take your time and not rush into it. Here are some reasons why:

Know Your Wedding Details

Before asking your bridesmaids, it's a good idea to finalise some key details about your wedding. This includes knowing your wedding date and venue, as well as having a general idea of the bridal shower and bachelorette party you want. By figuring out these details first, your bridesmaids will have a better understanding of what they're signing up for and can feel more confident about their roles and responsibilities. It will also help you determine how big your bridal party should be.

Give Yourself Time to Think

It's recommended to wait anywhere from a few weeks to a few months after your engagement before asking your bridesmaids. This gives you time to really think about the people in your life and who you want by your side throughout the wedding planning process and on your big day. Take into account the strength and length of your relationships, as well as their other obligations and priorities. Remember, your wedding may be the most important thing in your life right now, but it might not be the case for everyone else.

Avoid Asking Too Early

While it's exciting to share the news of your engagement with your friends, asking them to be your bridesmaids too early can lead to complications. If you ask more than a year in advance, your friends may not want to commit so early, and life changes can happen that could impact their availability or your relationship with them. It's best to wait until it's closer to your wedding date, usually around 8-12 months before, to avoid any potential issues or regrets.

Be Mindful of Their Commitments

When considering when to ask your bridesmaids, keep in mind that they will need time to plan and prepare for their roles. They may need to save money, make travel arrangements, or order a dress. Giving them enough notice, typically around 5-8 months before the wedding, will allow them to commit to being there for all the events and help you with the planning.

Know the wedding details

Knowing the details of your wedding is an important step before asking your bridesmaids to be part of your bridal party. This is because your bridal party has some organising to do, and the more they know about your wedding, the easier it will be for them to plan. For example, they can help with the bachelorette party, and if you have any specific requests or preferences for their involvement, make sure to communicate that. Knowing the details of your wedding will also help your bridal party feel confident about what they're signing up for.

Details to finalise before asking your bridal party include the colours, themes, and venue of your wedding. You should also have a date and month for your wedding before asking your bridal party. This is because they will need to know if they can commit to being there for all the events, and they will need to plan their budget and schedule. Knowing the date will also allow your bridal party to plan their travel arrangements and order their dresses.

If you have a long engagement period, it is recommended to wait until 8-12 months before the wedding to ask your bridal party. This is because a lot can change in a year, and you may find yourself no longer close to certain people. If you have a shorter engagement period, make sure to give your bridal party at least 5-8 months' notice.

Be engaged for at least 60 days

It's important to take your time when deciding on your bridesmaids. While it's an exciting part of the wedding planning process, it's a decision that requires careful thought. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least 60 days after getting engaged before popping the question to your bridesmaids. This grace period will give you time to plan how many bridesmaids you want and what kind of gifts you want to give them when you do ask them.

During this time, you can also start thinking about the kind of bridal shower and bachelorette party you want, which will help determine how big your bridal party should be. It's also a good opportunity to figure out other wedding details, such as colours, themes, and venue, so your bridesmaids can get a sense of what they're signing up for.

If you have a long engagement, it's generally recommended to wait until 8-12 months before the wedding to ask your bridesmaids. This is because relationships can change, and you don't want to be in an awkward situation later on if you're no longer close to someone in your bridal party. On the other hand, if you have a shorter engagement, make sure to give your bridal party at least 5-8 months' notice so they can start planning and organising any events they need to help with.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you're entitled to choose your closest friends to be a part of your big day. Take your time, plan carefully, and then go ahead and propose to your bridesmaids in a way that's special and meaningful to you.

Have a follow-up conversation

Once you've asked your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding, it's a good idea to have a follow-up conversation within the first few weeks. This is an opportunity to discuss your overall wedding vision and ensure everyone is on the same page. Here are some tips for having a productive follow-up conversation:

• Discuss roles and responsibilities: It's important to be clear about what you expect from your bridesmaids. Let them know their responsibilities, such as helping with the bachelorette party and wedding planning, and ask if they have any questions or concerns.
• Provide wedding details: Share as many details as possible about your wedding vision, including the colours, themes, venue, and any specific requests. This will help your bridesmaids understand your expectations and feel excited about their role.
• Address any concerns: It's natural for bridesmaids to have some stress or apprehension about their role. Be open to listening to their concerns and work together to find solutions.
• Give them a heads-up about expenses: Discuss the financial expectations and potential costs involved for your bridesmaids, such as dresses, shoes, and other expenses. This will help them plan and save accordingly.
• Check in on their availability: While you may have discussed dates initially, it's a good idea to reconfirm their availability for all the wedding-related events, including the bachelorette party and rehearsals.
• Keep communication open: Encourage your bridesmaids to reach out to you if they have any questions or concerns throughout the wedding planning process. Let them know that you value their input and want to ensure they feel included and supported.
• Offer support: Planning a wedding can be stressful, so let your bridesmaids know that you're there for them. Offer to help with any tasks or provide emotional support as needed.
• Discuss any potential conflicts: If you anticipate any potential conflicts or challenges, address them early on. Be open and honest about any concerns and work together to find a resolution.
• Show your appreciation: Finally, take the opportunity to express your gratitude for their participation. Let them know how much their support means to you and that you're excited to have them by your side on your special day.

Remember, the follow-up conversation is a chance to strengthen your bond with your bridesmaids and ensure that everyone is on the same page. Be open, honest, and flexible, and don't be afraid to address any potential concerns or challenges. By keeping the lines of communication open, you'll create a supportive and exciting environment for your wedding planning journey.

Frequently asked questions