Junior Rasmussen
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with kids, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the full, formal names of the invitees, including titles such as Mr. and Mrs.. If the couple has the same last name, they can be listed together using the husband's first and last name, or both their first and last names if you want to address them equally. For couples with different last names, the person you are closest to or the guest whose name comes first alphabetically can be listed first. Children's names are usually included on the inner envelope, listed in order of age, with girls under 18 addressed as Miss. If children are not invited, their names are omitted from the envelope, but it is a good idea to mention on your wedding website that children are not included.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope format | "Mr. and Mrs. [Father's Full Name] or "The [Family Name] |
| Inner envelope format | List the first names of all invited family members |
| Children under 18 | Include children's names in order of age on the inner envelope. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss" |
| Children over 18 | Send separate invitations to children over 18 |
What You'll Learn
Outer envelope: Formality and titles
When addressing wedding invitations, the outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself. The outer envelope should be formal, with the recipient's full name(s) and title(s). This format works for couples of all genders, whether or not they share a surname, and still feels somewhat traditional.
For a married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple prefers, both names can be included: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should include both full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". If the combined names are too long, they can be listed separately.
In the case of a spouse with a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft".
If you are inviting a family with children, the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham".
When addressing a married couple where one person is a doctor, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith". If both are doctors, the correct form is "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith".
For couples with other distinguished titles, such as military personnel, judges, or reverends, use the same rules as for doctors. For example, "The Honorable Josephine Wood and Mr. Jonathan Wood" or "Captains Josephine and Jonathan Wood, US Navy".
It is important to note that personal titles may feel restrictive and exclusive for some guests, especially if they do not identify as Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Mr. In such cases, it is acceptable to forgo titles and use first and last names only. Additionally, the gender-neutral title "Mx." may be preferred by some non-binary guests. Always double-check each attendee's preferred personal titles before addressing the wedding invitations.
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Inner envelope: Informal, first names
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with kids, the outer envelope is reserved for the names of the parents, and the inner envelope lists each child by name. Here are some examples of how to address the inner envelope informally, using only first names:
- "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Lily"
- "Thomas, Michelle, Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly"
- "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera, John Jr., and Samantha"
- "Celine and Jacqueline, with Addison and Lucas"
The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format of the outer envelope. If you're going for casual vibes and would like to use first names only, that's perfectly acceptable.
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Children's names: On inner envelope, by age
When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, it is important to consider the age of the children. Here is a detailed guide on how to address the inner envelope when inviting children of different ages:
Children under the age of 18:
The names of children under the age of 18 are typically listed on the inner envelope, underneath the parents' names. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr." It is important to list the children's names in order of seniority, omitting their last names. For example:
"Mr. and Mrs. James Halpert, Ceceila Halpert, Phillip Halpert"
Alternatively, a less formal option is to use first names only:
"Jim and Pam Halpert, Ceceila, Phillip"
Children over the age of 18:
Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitations, even if they still live with their parents. On the outer envelope, write their full name, and on the inner envelope, use "Mr." or "Ms." followed by their last name. For example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Audrey Abraham"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Abraham"
If you are inviting multiple children over the age of 18 from the same family, you can list their names by seniority on separate lines. For example:
"Miss Danielle Woods, Mr. Ryder Woods"
Children of different ages:
If you are inviting a family with children of different ages, it is recommended to send separate invitations for the parents and children under 18, and another invitation for the children over 18. For example:
Parents and children under 18: "Mr. and Mrs. Derek and Aliya Mohan, Miss Aisha Mohan"
Children over 18: "Mr. Ian Mohan"
Alternatively, you can send one invitation for the whole family, listing the parents' names and then the names of the children in order of seniority. For example:
"Mr. and Mrs. Todd and Lily Woods, Miss Danielle Woods, Mr. Ryder Woods"
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Unmarried couples: Separate lines
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. If the couple lives together, their names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order. Here is an example:
On the outer envelope: Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller
On the inner envelope: Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross
If the couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest. For the outer envelope, follow the format above. For the inner envelope, use courtesy titles and last names or only first names if you are close with the couple.
On the inner envelope: Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross
It is important to use the correct titles or prefixes when addressing wedding invitations. For unmarried women, use "Ms." unless she is under 18, in which case "Miss" is more appropriate. For unmarried men, use "Mr." unless he is under 18, in which case no title is necessary.
If you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch in the park, you may be able to get away with a less formal approach, such as leaving off titles or using just first names. However, if you are having a more formal wedding, it is generally best to err on the side of formality.
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Widowed women: Ask their preference
When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow, it is best to ask for her preference. Some widows prefer to use their deceased husband's first name, for example, "Mrs. John Jones". Others prefer to use their own first name, for example, "Mrs. Kathleen Jones". If you are unsure, it is best to ask someone close to her which name she would prefer.
If the widow has children who are under the age of 18, their names can be listed by seniority on the inner envelope, omitting their last names. For example:
> Outer envelope: Mrs. Kathleen Jones
> Inner envelope: Mrs. Jones, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, Mx. Kelly
If the widow has children who are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitations. For example:
> Outer envelope: Ms. Brittany Jones
> Inner envelope: Ms. Jones
If you are inviting a widow with children to your wedding, it is important to list each family member's name on the invitation to avoid any confusion about who is invited.
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Frequently asked questions
Use the couple's full names and titles, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". If the couple has different last names, list the name of the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order.
On the inner envelope, you can be less formal. Use titles and last names, or first names only. For example, "Alan and Emily" or "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson".
In this case, use the woman's name first on the outer envelope, followed by the man's full name. For example, "Mrs. Rachel Cooper-Smith and Mr. John Smith".
If the woman uses her husband's name socially, the address would be "Dr. Barbara and Mr. James Werner". If she uses her maiden name, it would be "Dr. Barbara Hanson and Mr. James Werner". If both are doctors, the address is "The Drs. Werner" or "Drs. Barbara and Robert Werner".
List the invited children's names in order of age on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson Alan, Emily, Roger, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".
