Guide To Addressing Wedding Invites: Chinese Etiquette And Customs

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and when it comes to wedding invitations, it can be challenging to know where to start. This is especially true for couples incorporating different cultural traditions, such as Chinese wedding customs, into their special day. Chinese wedding invitations have distinct traditions and etiquettes to follow, from the style and design to the wording and addressing of guests.

Red invitation envelopes

The red envelopes are embossed with the "double happiness" "囍" sign, symbolising the upcoming nuptials. The colour red is significant in Chinese culture, often associated with happiness and good luck.

When addressing the red invitation envelopes, it is customary to use formal titles and honorifics, especially when inviting elders. For instance, when addressing an uncle, it is respectful to use "伯父大人" ("Dear Uncle") before their full name. The invitation should also indicate whether you are inviting their spouse or the whole family.

The red invitation envelopes can be sent by mail, but it is highly recommended to deliver them in person, especially to elders, as a sign of respect and to emphasise the significance of the event.

Wedding cake cards

Nowadays, physical wedding cakes are usually replaced by wedding cake gift cards, which are sent to the guests along with the wedding invitations. This allows guests to redeem the cakes whenever they want. It's important to note that only the bride's family needs to send wedding cake cards to their guests.

The wedding cake cards are typically included in a red invitation envelope, embossed with a "double happiness" symbol. The envelope colour symbolises luck, joy, happiness, and celebration in Chinese culture. The invitation should also include the wedding date in both the Gregorian and Lunar calendars, as well as the names of the bride and groom, with the groom's name preceding the bride's.

In addition to the invitation card and wedding cake card, the bride's family may also include a red packet, filled with cash, as a gift for their guests. This custom originates from the Chinese virtue of "courtesy demands reciprocity", meaning that when someone receives kindness, they should return it.

Red packets

When addressing the guests on the invitation envelope, it is important to use honorifics, especially for elders. For example, when addressing an uncle, it is respectful to use "伯父大人" ("Dear Uncle") before their full name. The invitation should also indicate whether you are inviting their spouse or the whole family. For a spouse, you should address both their titles, names, and their relationship to each other. For inviting the whole family, you can add "阖府" ("whole family" or "all together") after the name of the guest.

Bilingual invitations

Bilingual Chinese-English wedding invitations are a great option for couples who want to incorporate aspects of Chinese culture while also expressing their unique style. The dominant culture of the couple usually determines the wording of the invitation. If one culture is more dominant, it is a good idea to include everything in both languages, usually line by line. If you are confident that every guest can read both languages, you can present the information in one language on one side of the invitation and the other language on the other side.

Traditional Chinese wedding invitations feature classic symbols such as the double happiness character, phoenix and dragons, and the lucky colours red and gold. Modern Chinese-style wedding invitations can include these traditional elements while also incorporating humorous wording, bright backgrounds, colourful floral tones, and modern typography. Minimalist designs feature clean lines, white space, and simple elegance.

There are many options available for bilingual Chinese-English wedding invitations. You can choose from a variety of colours, including red, gold, white, black, blue, pink, purple, and green. You can also include additional languages such as Spanish, French, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Malay, Indonesian, or Thai.

When creating bilingual invitations, it is important to consider your audience and their language abilities. You can choose to include everything in both languages or only provide information in one language if you are confident that your guests can read it. You can also search online for wording templates to help you format your invitation correctly.

Honourifics and titles

Formal Titles and Honourifics

Using formal titles and honourifics is essential when addressing Chinese wedding invitations, especially when inviting elders. For instance, when addressing an uncle, it is respectful to use the honourific "伯父大人", which translates to "Dear Uncle". Similarly, for an aunt, you can use "伯母大人", meaning "Dear Aunt". These titles are placed before the recipient's full name.

Addressing Married Couples

When inviting a married couple, it is customary to address both their titles, names, and relationship. The Chinese phrase "夫妇" or "伉俪" translates to "married couple" and can be used in the invitation. You may also use the English translation "together" in a bilingual invitation to sound more natural.

Inviting the Whole Family

If you are inviting the entire family, you can add the phrase "阖府" or "阖府统请" after the name of the recipient. This indicates that the whole family is invited. Additionally, you can specify the number of seats reserved for them to help with their planning.

Respectful Forms of Address

When addressing the guest's name, it is respectful to use "升" or "台升" after their name. "升" represents the upward presentation of the invitation card, while "台" is an honorific reference for "brother", used in polite language to address friends or acquaintances.

Indicating the Sender of the Invitation

In the past, wedding invitations were issued by the groom's or bride's father, following patriarchal traditions. The father would state that he was sending the invitation by order of his father ("奉严命") or mother ("奉慈命"). Nowadays, it is more common for the couple to send the invitations themselves, especially to the elders in the family, as a sign of respect.

Addressing Relatives Related by Marriage

When inviting relatives related by marriage, such as the wife's siblings, you can add "姻亲" before their name to indicate your relationship. For example, "姻亲XXX贤妹夫" or "姻亲贤妹夫XXX 先生" can be used to invite the husband of one's sister.

Frequently asked questions