Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Mr. And Mrs. Right

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to addressing guests with the correct titles. The traditional approach is to use Mr. and Mrs. for married couples with the same last name, but modern alternatives include using both first names or just the shared last name. For married couples with different last names, it's best to list both full names, with the person you're closest to coming first, or in alphabetical order. Same-sex couples follow the same rules, with the addition of suitable prefixes.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options to consider.

Formal Addressing

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

If you would like to include the wife's name, you can write:

> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren

For a same-sex couple, either name can go first, followed by "and". For example:

> Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton

> or

> Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant

Informal Addressing

If you prefer a more casual approach, you can simply use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the couple's last name, omitting their first names. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Bryant

Alternatively, you can address them by their first names only. For instance:

> Thomas and Michelle

These informal options are also suitable when addressing a same-sex married couple with the same last name.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is standard to write their names on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here is an example of how to format the outer and inner envelopes:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are inviting a couple with children, the outer envelope is reserved for the parents' names, and the inner envelope lists each child by name. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss", and boys don't need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.". Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez, Daniel, Miss Emily, and Miss Sophia"

It is important to list each child's name if they are invited to avoid any confusion.

If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is best to play it safe and forgo a title altogether. You can also ask someone close to the guest about their preferred title or name format.

Married Couple, One Person is a Doctor

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple where one person is a doctor, the general rule is to list the person with the professional title first. For the outer envelope, you could write:

> "Dr. Tami Takata and Mr. Jordan Takata"

> "Dr. Tami Takata and Mrs. Jordan Takata"

If the couple has different last names, you can list their names separately in alphabetical order:

> "Dr. Tami Takata"

> "Mr./Mrs. Jordan Smith"

For the inner envelope, it is common to use abbreviations and first names, for example:

> "Dr. Takata and Mr. Smith"

> "Tami and Jordan"

If the couple has different last names, you can address them as:

> "Dr. Takata and Mr. Smith"

> "Tami and Jordan"

If the doctor is a woman and she has taken her husband's last name, you can reflect this in the address:

> "Dr. Tami Takata and Mr. Jordan Takata"

> "Dr. and Mrs. Jordan Takata"

> "Dr. Tami and Mr. Jordan Takata"

Married Couple, Both Are Doctors

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple where both partners are doctors, the correct etiquette depends on whether they share the same surname or have different surnames.

Married Doctors with the Same Surname

For the outer envelope, you can address the invitation to "The Doctors [Surname]" or "Drs. [First name] and [First name] [Surname]". For example, "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith".

For the inner envelope, you can use "The Doctors [Surname]" or simply write their first names, e.g., "Matthew and Angela".

Married Doctors with Different Surnames

If the doctors have different surnames, list both names in alphabetical order on separate lines for the outer envelope: "Dr. [Surname]" followed by "Dr. [Surname]". For example, "Dr. Rosenthal" followed by "Dr. Schwartz".

For the inner envelope, you can use their titles and surnames, or just their first names, e.g., "Dr. Rosenthal and Dr. Schwartz" or "Matthew and Angela".

General Guidelines for Addressing Wedding Invitations

• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations.
• If you are having a casual wedding, you may use first names only or leave off titles. Otherwise, it is best to err on the side of formality.
• If both names do not fit on one line, indent the second line.
• Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal, while the inner envelope is slightly more casual and may include first names.
• If you are only using an outer envelope, simply focus on properly addressing it.
• If you are addressing a family with children, write the names of each family member, starting with the parents, and list invited children in order of age. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss".

Addressing a Family

When addressing a family on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited or invite the whole family. If you want to be general, you can simply address the envelope to the whole family or include "and family" or "and children" after the parents' names. Here are some examples:

• The Thompson Family
• The Simpson Family
• Mr. & Mrs. Alan Thompson
• Mr. & Mrs. Homer Simpson

If you want to be specific about which family members are invited, list the names of each family member inside the invitation, starting with the parents' names, followed by the children's names in order of age. Here are some examples:

• Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily
• Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie

When including female children under the age of 18, you can address them as "Miss". For boys, a title is not necessary until they turn 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.". It is important to note that if you do not include the children's names, it implies that they are not invited.

If you are using both an outer and inner envelope, you only need to address the adults on the outer envelope. The inner envelope can then be used to specify which family members are invited.

Frequently asked questions