Etiquette Guide: Addressing Wedding Invites With Plus Ones

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex topic, and it's important to get it right. One common question is how to address plus ones on the invitations. While it's not necessary to give every guest a plus one, it is customary to extend this courtesy to married, engaged, and cohabiting guests. It's also a nice gesture to allow members of the bridal party to bring a plus one as a token of appreciation for their efforts and support.

Inner envelope: Names of invitees and their plus ones

The inner envelope of a wedding invitation is where you can specify who exactly is invited to the wedding. This is especially useful when addressing the outer envelope to a couple or family, as you can use the inner envelope to clarify whether you are inviting any children or plus ones.

If you are inviting a couple with children, the inner envelope should include the names of the children underneath the parents' names. For example, an invitation to Mr. and Mrs. James Darling and their two children, Sarah and Jonathan, would include the following on the inner envelope:

> Mr. and Mrs. Darling

> Sarah Darling

> Jonathan Darling

If you are inviting a single person with a plus one, you can address the inner envelope to "Mr. James Smith and Guest". Alternatively, if you know the name of the plus one, you can address the inner envelope to "Mr. James Smith and [name of plus one]". This is considered more polite, as it shows that you have made an effort to find out the name of their partner.

If you are only using one envelope, you can include a short note with your invitation to clarify that your guest is welcome to bring a plus one. For example:

> "Dear James,

> You're welcome to bring a guest to the wedding. Please let me know.

> Best, Laura."

If you have the time and your guest provides their plus one's name, you can send them their own invitation.

Outer envelope: Names of invitees

The outer envelope is the first thing your guests will see when they receive your wedding invitation, so it's important to get it right. Here are some tips and guidelines for addressing the outer envelope when inviting a plus-one:

Names of Invitees

When addressing the outer envelope, it is important to use the correct titles, first, and last names. The outer envelope is typically addressed using a formal tone. If your wedding is more casual, you may choose to be less formal with the addressing. Here are some specific scenarios to consider:

• For a married couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. James Arthur Darling".
• If the woman is a doctor and uses her husband's name socially, the address would be "Dr. Barbara and Mr. James Werner". If she uses her maiden name, both professionally and socially, it becomes "Dr. Barbara Hanson and Mr. James Werner".
• For unmarried couples living together, list both names connected by "and". An example would be "Ms. Nancy Fellows and Mr. Scott Dunn".
• When inviting a plus-one, it is preferable to use the guest's name if you know it. For example, "Mr. Joseph Smith and Ms. Jane Doe".
• If you don't know the name of the plus-one, it is acceptable to write "and Guest". An example would be "Mr. Joseph Smith and Guest".
• When inviting children, their names go directly under their parents' names, but only on the inner envelope. The outer envelope would only include the parents' names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Weasley".
• For military personnel, address them using their full title, such as "Colonel and Mrs. John Smith".
• If both parties have distinguished titles, list the person with the higher title first. For example, "Sergeant Sarah Smith and Private John Smith, U.S. Army".
• For a married couple with different last names, include both their first and last names. You can choose the order based on alphabetical order or closeness. For instance, "Ms. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt".

Remember to double-check the spelling of all names and addresses, and consider having a spreadsheet with all the guest addresses to stay organized.

Etiquette for married, engaged, and cohabiting guests

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to married, engaged, and cohabiting guests, there are a few etiquette guidelines to follow. Here are some tips to ensure that your invitations are addressed correctly and respectfully:

Married Couples:

If you are inviting a married couple, the outer envelope should include their full names, including titles. For a heterosexual couple with the same last name, address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If they have hyphenated last names, include both last names for one partner, and address them separately.

Inner Envelope:

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or refer to them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their last name(s). Some modern women may prefer to have their names included separately rather than being lumped in with their husband's name, so it is best to double-check with your guests beforehand.

Engaged and Cohabiting Couples:

For unmarried couples living together, include both names on one line on the outer envelope, listing the person you are closest to first or going in alphabetical order. On the inner envelope, you can use their first names or last names only.

Plus-One Etiquette:

If you are inviting a single guest with a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply address it to the guest you know. On the inner envelope, you can write the guest's name and "and guest" or include the plus-one's name if you have it.

When addressing guests, always use their preferred titles, such as "Mr.," "Mrs.," "Miss," or "Ms." For doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, use their professional titles. Be mindful of gender-neutral titles, such as "Mx.," and always double-check your guests' preferred personal titles.

Seating Arrangements:

When creating your seating plan, be mindful of solo guests. Avoid seating them between married couples or PDA-heavy pairs. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your wedding's tone and style. The most important thing is to be respectful and considerate of your guests' preferences and comfort.

Etiquette for bridal party plus ones

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, and one of the first steps is figuring out who to invite, which includes who gets a plus-one. Here is a guide to help you navigate the etiquette for bridal party plus-ones.

Who Gets a Plus-One?

It is customary for spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest to receive an invitation. This is often referred to as the "package deal". The same rule applies to the bridal party, where each member can bring a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their efforts and support.

Who Doesn't Get a Plus-One?

• Guests who are casually dating: If the invited guest has a new partner every few months or hasn't been in a relationship for more than a year, a plus-one is not necessary.
• Single guests who will know other guests: If you have mutual friends or family attending, it is not essential to provide a plus-one.

How to Address Plus-Ones on the Invitation

For traditional wedding invitations with an outer and inner envelope, the outer layer addresses the recipient, and the inner paper lists the names of those invited, such as children or plus-ones. If using a single envelope or sending an online invitation, clearly address all invitees upfront. If the couple is in a relationship, list both guests by their full names. If a guest is bringing a casual date, write the guest's name and then "and guest".

Additional Tips

• Be mindful of seating arrangements: Avoid seating singles between married couples or PDA-heavy pairs. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal feel.
• Prepare for inquiries about plus-ones: Guests who do not receive a plus-one may reach out to ask if they can bring a guest. It is advisable to inquire further about the requested addition, as their relationship status may have changed. If you don't have the space, kindly decline over the phone or in person.
• Be consistent: Establish your own rules and be consistent to avoid any favouritism or hurt feelings.
• Know the names of plus-ones: Make an effort to know the name of each plus-one to ensure correct spelling on the save-the-date, invitation, and escort card.
• Order extra invitations: If you anticipate sending a second set of invitations for last-minute plus-ones, it is more cost-effective to order extra invitations in advance.
• A and B guest lists: While this is a common practice, it can be poor taste if guests find out they were on the B list. Consider your priorities and stick to your decisions.

How to address plus ones on a single envelope

When it comes to addressing plus ones on a single envelope, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your invitations are both clear and elegant.

Firstly, it is important to note that traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabitating guests receive a plus-one. This includes spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners. It is also common courtesy to invite the spouse or significant other of your ceremony officiant, as well as both parents of ring bearers and flower girls.

If you are inviting a guest who is single and they are not getting a plus one, both the outer and inner envelope should include only their name. This makes it clear that they are the only person invited.

For guests who are receiving a plus-one, there are a few ways to address the envelope. One way is to write the guest's name followed by "and guest". For example, "Mr. Smith and guest". This directly indicates that they are invited with a plus-one.

Another way to address a plus-one is to simply write the guest's name on the outer envelope and add a note on the invitation itself. For example, "You are invited to bring a plus one" or "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour". This approach allows for a more personalised invitation while still conveying the same information.

Remember, it is entirely up to you to decide who gets a plus one, aside from the traditional cases mentioned above. Be mindful of your budget and the dynamic you wish to create at your wedding. It is important to be clear and direct in your invitations to avoid any confusion or awkward situations.

Frequently asked questions