Etiquette Guide: Wedding Invites For Children

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a lot of questions that arise, especially around etiquette. One such question is whether separate wedding invitations should be sent for adult children living at home. While it may be tempting to send one invitation per household to save on costs and time, it is generally considered proper wedding etiquette to send each adult their own invitation. This is because it avoids confusion about who is specifically invited and ensures that each adult is recognised as such, rather than being considered a dependent. However, if there are children under the age of 18, they can be included on their parents' invitation by listing their names on the inner envelope.

Inviting adult children living at home

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to get it right. While it may be tempting to send one invitation per household, it's proper etiquette to send separate invitations to adult children, even those living at home. This is to ensure that each adult is identified and treated as such, no longer as a child or dependent.

In the case of adult children living at home, sending a single invitation addressed to the entire family may cause confusion and give the impression that only the parents are invited. To avoid any ambiguity, it's best to send individual invitations to each adult child. This way, there is no room for interpretation, and all invited guests are clearly specified.

However, it's worth noting that this may result in multiple invitations being sent to the same address, which can be impractical and costly. In such cases, it is acceptable to send a single invitation per household, as long as all invited individuals are listed by name on the envelope. This ensures that each adult child is recognised and invited in their own right.

For example, if you have an aunt and uncle with adult children living at home, the invitation can be addressed as follows: "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe, Mr. September Doe, Ms. Sarah Doe". This format makes it clear that the adult children are included in the invitation and are expected to attend.

It's also worth mentioning that children under the age of 18 can be included on their parents' invitation by listing their names. However, if there are adult children in the household, it's more appropriate to send them separate invitations to avoid any misunderstanding.

While it may be tempting to streamline the invitation process, especially when dealing with large families, it's important to follow proper etiquette and ensure that each adult family member feels valued and respected with their own invitation.

Inviting adult children who don't live at home

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to get it right. While it may be tempting to send one invitation per household, it's considered proper etiquette to send separate invitations to adult children, even if they live in the family home. This is to ensure that each adult is recognised as an independent individual, rather than being grouped together as part of a family unit.

In the case of adult children who don't live at home, it is definitely customary to send them their own wedding invitation. This not only ensures that they receive the invitation but also makes them feel valued and respected as an adult. It's worth noting that some cultures have different norms, and in some cases, it may be common for adults to live with their parents until marriage. In these instances, it's still important to send separate invitations to each adult, even if they live at the same address.

When addressing the invitations, it's essential to be clear about who is invited. For adult-only weddings, it's recommended to specify this on the invitation or on an additional information card. While it may be tempting to put "and family" on the invitation, this could lead to confusion. Instead, list the names of those invited on the envelope, or include a separate card with the names of those who have reserved seats. This ensures that your guests know exactly who is invited and avoids any potential misunderstandings.

It's also worth considering the practical implications of sending separate invitations. In some cases, it may be more cost-effective to send one invitation per household, especially if the family lives far away and travel costs are a factor. Additionally, if there are multiple adult children living at the same address, sending separate invitations could result in a pile of invitations for one family, which might seem excessive. In these instances, it's essential to weigh up the importance of following traditional etiquette against the practical considerations of your specific situation.

Including children's names on the envelope

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different scenarios to consider. Here are some tips and guidelines for including children's names on the envelope:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and should include the guest's complete and formal name along with their mailing address. When inviting a family with children under 18, the outer envelope is reserved for the parent(s) or guardian(s) names only. The children's names should be listed on the inner envelope. However, if any children are over the age of 18 and living at home, they should receive their own invitation. In this case, their names can be included on the outer envelope of their parents' invitation.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal and gives you the option to be more casual with names and titles. For families with children under 18, list each child's name on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". Boys don't need a title until they are 16, then they can be addressed as "Mr.". If you are inviting children over the age of 18 who live at home, they should be included on the inner envelope of their parents' invitation.

Single Envelope:

If you are using a single outer envelope (informal), write the guest's complete and formal name, along with the mailing address. Children under 18 should be included under their parents' names, listed from oldest to youngest. Children over 18 and living at home should receive their own invitation.

Etiquette:

According to wedding invitation etiquette, it is proper to send each adult their own invitation, even if they live in the same household as their parents. This avoids confusion about who is invited and ensures that each adult is recognised as an independent individual. Combining names on a single invitation can suggest a lack of independence, which is hardly the message you want to send to your guests.

Practical Considerations:

While it is proper etiquette to send separate invitations to adult children living at home, it may be more practical to send a single invitation per household, especially if there are multiple adult children. In this case, you can include all invited individuals' names on the outer envelope to ensure clarity. This avoids any potential confusion and simplifies the process of finalising the guest list.

Sending separate invitations to those with plus ones

Know Who Traditionally Gets a Plus One

It is customary to extend a plus-one invitation to guests who are married, engaged, or living with their partner. This is considered standard etiquette and ensures that your guests can celebrate with their significant other.

Include the Wedding Party

It is also common courtesy to offer a plus one to members of the wedding party, such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honour, and best man. This is a way to show your appreciation for their support and commitment throughout the wedding planning process.

Consider Outlier Guests

If you have guests who won't know many people at the wedding, it is a kind gesture to offer them a plus one. This ensures they won't feel lonely or out of place, especially if they are travelling from out of town.

Address the Invitations Properly

When addressing the invitations, write the name of the guest and their partner if you know them. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". If you don't know the partner's name, write the guest's name and "and guest". This lets them know they can bring someone.

Be Mindful of Your Budget and Venue Capacity

While you may want to offer plus ones to everyone, it's important to consider your budget constraints and the capacity of your venue. You don't want to end up with more guests than you can accommodate or afford.

Prepare for Requests

Some guests who don't receive a plus one may reach out to ask for one. Have a kind and polite response ready, such as "We'd love to include everyone, but our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family. We hope you understand."

Create an "A" and "B" List

To help manage your guest list, create an "`A`" list of guests who should absolutely receive a plus one, and a "`B`" list of guests you would like to offer a plus one to if possible. This will help you stay organised and ensure you don't exceed your limits.

Be Consistent

Try to maintain consistency when offering plus ones. For example, if one person in the wedding party gets a plus one, it's best to offer the same to all members of the wedding party. This avoids any potential favouritism and keeps things fair.

Ask for the Name of the Plus One

When sending out invitations, include a space for the guest to write the name of their plus one on the RSVP. This helps with seating arrangements and ensures you know who to expect.

Be Clear About Who Is Invited

Make sure your invitations are clear about who is invited. If only the guest is invited, their name should be the only one on the envelope. If they have a plus one, include their name as well, or specify "and guest".

Remember, these are just guidelines, and ultimately, the decision is up to you and your partner. Each wedding is unique, so tailor your invitations accordingly!

Addressing the envelope to all family members

When addressing the envelope to all family members, it is important to consider the ages of the children in the family. For children under the age of 18, it is acceptable to include them on their parents' invitation by listing their names on the inner envelope. However, if there are children over the age of 18 in the family, it is proper etiquette to send each adult their own invitation, even if they live in the same household as their parents.

Including the names of all family members invited on the outer envelope of a single invitation can be a way to clarify that everyone in the household is invited, especially if there are adult children. This can be a good option if you are trying to save money on invitations or postage. However, some people may view a group invitation as insulting or confusing, especially if there are adult children in the household.

To avoid any confusion or misunderstanding, it is generally recommended to send separate invitations to each adult, even if they live in the same household. This ensures that each adult is properly identified and recognised as an independent individual. It also allows them to RSVP individually and make their own travel arrangements if needed.

If you choose to send separate invitations to each adult family member, it is important to follow the correct etiquette for addressing the envelopes. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx., etc.). The inner envelope is more informal, and you can leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. For unmarried couples living together, include both names on separate lines, listing the person you are closest with first or using alphabetical order.

In conclusion, when addressing the envelope to all family members, consider the ages of the children and the potential benefits of sending separate invitations to adult family members. Clarify the number of invited guests by listing names on the envelope, especially if there are adult children, and follow the proper etiquette for addressing envelopes to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected.

Frequently asked questions