Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Envelopes For Two

Wedding invitations can be a tricky business, and it's important to get them right to ensure your guests feel welcome on your big day. The traditional way to address a wedding invitation is to use an inner and outer envelope, with the outer envelope being more formal and the inner envelope being more casual. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. When it comes to the all-important names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, always use the complete, formal name of your guest. It's also worth noting that the and guest is kept lowercase for guests bringing guests. If you're addressing an invitation to a married couple with the same last name, you can use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, this is becoming outdated, and many people now prefer to list both names, either on the same line or separate lines. For couples with different last names, simply write out their full names with Mr. or Mrs. For same-sex couples, the same format applies, using the appropriate prefix. If you're addressing an unmarried couple, list both names on one or two lines, with the appropriate titles, and starting with the person you are closest to. For single guests, use the correct prefix (Mr. for men, Ms. for women, and Mx. for non-binary guests). If a single guest has a plus one, include their name if you know it, or simply write and guest.

Addressing a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal and includes titles, while the inner envelope is more informal, sometimes only including first names.

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope would be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [First name] [Last name]". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope would then be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

For a same-sex couple, the same format can be used, but either name can go first. For example, "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant".

If the couple prefers a more modern approach, the wife's name can be included in the outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope would then be "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

Addressing a married couple with different last names

When addressing a married couple with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, the outer envelope (the one that will be stamped and sent) should be more formal and include the recipient's full name and title. For a married couple with different surnames, their names should be written on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If the names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here is an example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

For the inner envelope, you can drop the titles and use only the surnames or first names, for example:

"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are equally close to both guests, you can also arrange the names alphabetically.

It's worth noting that these days, there aren't too many binding rules when addressing invitations. You can choose to forgo titles and list names separately, or even use first names only if you're aiming for a more casual vibe.

Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is placed on the outside of the inner envelope. The inner envelope is more informal and contains the invitation itself.

For the outer envelope, you could use the format "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Ms. [Wife's First Name] [Wife's Maiden Name]-[Husband's Last Name]", for example, "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". This format recognises the wife's hyphenated name while still using the traditional "Mr." and "Ms." titles.

Alternatively, you could address the couple as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs./Ms. [Wife's Full Hyphenated Name]". For example, "Mr. Michael Jones and Mrs./Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". This option gives precedence to the husband's name, following a traditional format, while still recognising the wife's full hyphenated name.

For the inner envelope, a more informal style can be used. You could address the couple as "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Ms. [Wife's Name]", for example, "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones". This format uses the couple's surnames only, dropping the "Mr." and "Ms." titles for a more casual tone.

If you prefer to use first names only for the inner envelope, you could write " [Wife's Name] and [Husband's Name]", for example, "Mary and Michael". This format is very informal and intimate, placing the wife's name first as it is considered a private and safe setting.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, the outer envelope should include both guests' full names, with their names written on one or two lines, depending on the length. The appropriate titles, such as "Mr." and "Ms." should be used, and the person you are closest to should be listed first. For example:

> Ms. Alysson Schulz

> Mr. Ricardo Gonzales

Or

> Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales

The same format applies to same-sex couples:

> Ms. Lily Pike

> Ms. Jane Pearce

Or

> Ms. Lily Pike and Ms. Jane Pearce

If the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to include only the titles and last names of the guests or just their first names. For example:

> Mr. Gonzales

> Ms. Schulz

Or

> Ricardo

> Alysson

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If the guest is a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Widows may also prefer to be addressed as "Ms."

If the guest is divorced, you can address the envelope using either "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name.

For guests under the age of 18, the rules are a little different. For female guests under 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms." For male guests under 18, no title is necessary.

If you are addressing a single guest who has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply include "and guest" or "and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Frequently asked questions