Etiquette Guide: Addressing Wedding Invites To Extended Family

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex business, and when it comes to addressing extended family, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you don't want to name individuals, you can simply address the envelope to the whole family. However, if you want to specify, write the names of each family member, starting with the parents and listing the children in order of age. Girls under 18 can be addressed as Miss. It's also worth noting that if you don't include children's names, it may be assumed that they are not invited.

If you're using double envelopes, the outer envelope should be more formal, with titles and full names, while the inner envelope can be more casual, with first names only.

It's also worth noting that, while it's traditional to invite extended family to weddings, it's not obligatory. If you're paying for the wedding yourself, you can invite whoever you like.

How to address extended family wedding invitations without inner envelopes

When addressing wedding invitations to extended family without inner envelopes, there are a few things to keep in mind. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope is optional and used to be more specific about who is invited. Without the inner envelope, you can simply focus on properly addressing the outer envelope. Here are some tips on how to do this:

Include the Names of Family Members on the Outer Envelope:

• List the names of the parents or guardians, followed by the names of their children. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. David Jones, Suzanne, Timothy, and Christopher".
• If you want to be more general, you can address the invitation to the whole family: "The Jones Family".
• For same-sex parents, adjust the titles accordingly: "Mrs. Jackie White and Mrs. Cara White, Miss Danielle White, Mr. Gabriel White".

Use an Insert or a Paper Belly Band:

• Include an insert with the invitation, preferably on sturdy, high-quality paper or translucent vellum. The insert should list the names of the family members invited.
• Alternatively, wrap the invitation with a paper belly band that includes the names of the invited family members.

Indicate the Number of Guests:

• On the response card, you can include a line such as "Number of guests attending ___". This will allow your guests to specify how many family members will be attending.
• You can also include meal options on the response card, which will further clarify the number of guests invited.

Use the Pocket as an Inner Envelope:

If you are using pocket-style invitations, the pocket can serve as an inner envelope. Write the names of the invited family members on the side of the pocket without the flap, ensuring that it is visible when the pocket is removed from the envelope.

Remember to use appropriate titles ("Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", etc.) and to consider the formality of your wedding when addressing the invitations. If you are having a casual wedding, you may be able to use first names or leave off titles altogether. However, for a more formal wedding, it is best to err on the side of formality and use full names and titles.

How to address extended family wedding invitations to a married couple

When addressing wedding invitations to extended family members who are a married couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple might prefer a more modern approach, you can use their first and last names only, or include both partners' first and last names.

If the married couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's full name:

> Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

> Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Warren or Thomas and Michelle

If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the person you are closest with first, or in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both:

> Outer envelope: Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

> Inner envelope: Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez or Maria and David

If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last:

> Outer envelope: Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft

> Inner envelope: Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft or Marcus and Brian

If one partner has a distinguished title, such as a member of the clergy, rabbi, military personnel, doctor, lawyer, or judge, their title takes precedence and is listed first, regardless of gender:

> Outer envelope: Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass or Rabbi Richard Glass and Mrs. Rosina Glass

> Inner envelope: Rabbi and Mrs. Glass or Richard and Rosina

If both partners have distinguished titles of equal rank, the person you are closest with is listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order:

> Outer envelope: Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies

> Inner envelope: Colonel and Reverend Jefferies or Peter and Margaret

For a more casual wedding, you may be able to use first names only or leave off titles, but it is generally best to err on the side of formality.

How to address extended family wedding invitations to unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to extended family members who are unmarried couples, there are a few guidelines and options to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles for each person, such as "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women. The outer envelope should be formal and include the full name(s) of the recipient(s). For unmarried couples living together, both names should be included on the outer envelope, with each name on a separate line. The person you are closest to should be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests. Here is an example:

"Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is recommended to send separate invitations to each guest.

For the inner envelope, you have the option to be more informal. You can use courtesy titles and last names, or only first names if you are close to the couple. Here is an example:

"Ms. Green

Mr. Geller"

Or

"Rachel

Ross"

It is also important to consider the formality of your wedding. If you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch, you may be able to use less formal addressing, such as leaving off titles or using only first names. However, if your wedding is more formal, it is generally recommended to err on the side of formality.

How to address extended family wedding invitations to children

When addressing wedding invitations to extended family members with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you want to invite the entire family, you can simply address the envelope to "The [Last Name] Family".

If you only want to invite certain family members, such as the parents and their children, you should list their names in a specific order. Start with the parent or parents' names, followed by the names of their children in order of age. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" as a title, while boys under 16 do not need a title and boys over 16 can be addressed as "Mr.". Here is an example of how to address an invitation to a family with two parents and three children:

> The [Last Name] Family

>

> Mr. and Mrs. [Parent's First Name] [Last Name]

> Mr. [First Son's Name]

> Miss [First Daughter's Name]

> Mr. [Second Son's Name]

Alternatively, you can use the family's last name or the parents' names on the outer envelope and list the first names of all invited family members on the inner envelope:

> Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]

>

> Inner envelope: [Father's First Name], [Mother's First Name], [First Son's Name], [First Daughter's Name], [Second Son's Name]

If any of the children are over the age of 18 and living with their parents, it is recommended that they receive their own invitation. In this case, you would use their full formal name on the outer envelope and their title ("Mr." or "Ms.") along with their last name on the inner envelope.

When addressing the envelopes, avoid using abbreviations or nicknames. Use the guest's full and formal name, along with their complete mailing address. For a more formal invitation, use both an outer and inner envelope, with the outer envelope being more formal and the inner envelope being more casual.

How to address extended family wedding invitations to those with distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to extended family members with distinguished titles, it's important to follow certain etiquette rules to ensure your guests feel respected and valued. Here are some guidelines to help you address these invitations appropriately:

• Outer Envelope: On the outer envelope, it is customary to use the individual's full name, including their personal title. For example, for a doctor, you would use "Dr." followed by their name. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and title.
• Inner Envelope: The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to be more casual. You can use only their first name or continue with the full name and title. For instance, if your extended family member is a doctor, you can address them as "Dr. [Last Name]" on the inner envelope.
• Married Couples with Distinguished Titles: When addressing a married couple where one or both partners have distinguished titles, the guest with the professional title should be listed first, followed by their spouse. For example, "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood" or "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly". If both spouses hold the same title, you can address them as "Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood" or "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy".
• Abbreviations and Full Spellings: Avoid using abbreviations for titles, street names, or state names. Always spell out the full title, street name, and state name. For instance, write "Doctor" instead of "Dr." and "Alabama" instead of "AL".
• Divorced or Widowed Individuals: If you are inviting a divorced or widowed woman, it is best to inquire about their preferred title and name. Some may prefer "Ms." or "Mrs." and choose to use their married name or maiden name. For a divorced woman, you can address the envelope as "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway".
• Same-Sex Couples: The same rules apply when addressing same-sex couples. If they are married or living together, list both names on the same line. For example, "Ms. Susan Bunch and Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch". If they have different last names, you can list the names alphabetically or based on whom you feel closer to.
• Children's Names: Children's names are usually included on the inner envelope, unless they are not invited. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" as an honorific. Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation if they are living independently.

Frequently asked questions