Addressing A Gay Couple On Their Wedding Invitation

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the same guidelines as you would for an unmarried couple or a married couple with different last names. If the couple is not married, it is best to address each person individually with their respective titles and full names on separate lines, in alphabetical order. For married couples with different last names, their names should be on the same line, separated by and, with each name preceded by their title. When addressing married gay couples with the same last name, it is appropriate to use the plural forms Messrs. for men and Mesdames or Mmes. for women, followed by their names. It is also acceptable to list their full names, with each name preceded by Mr. or Mrs..

Married couples with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, the general rule is to list their names separately on the outer envelope, with the person you are closest to, or the woman's, name first. For the inner envelope, you can use their titles and last names or just their first names. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If the married couple has the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mr. [Last Name]" or "Mrs. and Mrs. [Last Name]," depending on the couple's genders. The inner envelope can simply state their first names. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. George Bellafante and Mr. Thomas Jones"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones" or "George and Thomas"

If you are addressing a married couple where one or both members have a distinguished title, such as "Doctor," "Honourable," or "Captain," you can include this on the outer envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith" or "The Honourable Josephine Wood and Mr. Jonathan Wood"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina" or "Judge Wood and Mr. Wood"

It is also acceptable to use plural titles such as "Messrs." or "Mesdames" when addressing a married couple with the same last name. For instance:

Outer envelope: "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" or "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Dan and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda and Mrs. Jane Williams"

When addressing a same-sex married couple with different last names, the same guidelines apply as for different-gender couples. You can list their names separately or use their titles and last names on the outer envelope, and then use their first names on the inner envelope. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Robert Stewson and Mr. Greg Johnson"

Inner envelope: "Robert and Greg"

Remember, the most important aspect of addressing wedding invitations is to be consistent and follow the preferences of the couple you are inviting. If you are unsure about their preferred format, don't hesitate to ask them directly.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married gay couple with the same last name, there are a few options you can consider. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with the formatting:

Using Formal Titles

Address each member of a married gay couple using standard titles, such as "Mr." for men and "Mrs." for women. For example, "Mr. John Smith and Mr. Dan Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Johnson and Mrs. Jane Johnson." You can also choose to list the last name once, like "Mr. John and Mr. Dan Smith."

Selecting Plural Titles

Instead of using "Mr." and "Mrs.," you can opt for the plural forms "Messrs." for a male couple and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for a female couple. For instance, "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" or "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Johnson."

Addressing Individuals with Distinguishing Titles

If one member of the couple has a distinguishing title, such as a professional designation, you can include it in the address. For example, "Dr. Rob Johnson and Mr. Ryan Johnson" or "Lawyer Amanda Johnson and Mrs. Jane Johnson."

Ordering the Names

When deciding the order of the names, consider the following options:

• Invitation Precedence: If you are primarily inviting one person and extending the invitation to their partner as a courtesy, list the invitee's name first. For example, "Mr. Roger Smith and Mr. Alex Smith."
• Alphabetical Order: If you don't have a preference or want to maintain consistency, arrange the names alphabetically. For instance, "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine."
• Personal Preference: There are no rigid rules, so feel free to choose the order that sounds better or more natural to you. Just ensure that you maintain consistency in the invitation and envelope addressing.

Remember, these guidelines are flexible, and different same-sex couples may have varying preferences. If you are unsure, don't hesitate to ask the couple about their preferred form of address.

Unmarried couples

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried gay couple, the general rule is to treat it the same way you would address an invitation to an unmarried heterosexual couple. Here are some guidelines to help you with the formatting:

Names on Separate Lines

It is considered proper etiquette to write each person's name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple. For example:

On the outer envelope:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

On the inner envelope:

Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones

Alphabetical Order

If you are unsure about the order in which to write the names, arranging them alphabetically is a safe option. This is especially useful if you are closer to one half of the couple than the other. For example:

Mr. Adam Irvine

Mr. Bob Irvine

Using Titles

It is standard practice to use appropriate titles when addressing an invitation to an unmarried gay couple. For men, use "Mr." and for women, use "Mrs." or "Ms." For example:

Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

Couple's Preference

Remember that the most important thing is to respect the couple's preferences. If you are unsure about the correct format, don't hesitate to ask them directly. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingness to get it right.

Using titles

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the same guidelines as you would for an unmarried couple or a married couple with different last names. If the couple is not married, it is best to address each person individually with their respective titles and write each name on a separate line. The order of the names typically doesn't matter, but if you're unsure, arranging them alphabetically is a safe option.

Now, if the gay couple is married, there are a few options to consider. If they have different last names, a common approach is to write both names on the same line, separated by "and." For example, "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams." This format is suitable as many same-sex couples choose to retain their last names after marriage. Again, alphabetical order can be used if you're unsure about the name order.

Another option for married couples with the same last name is to use the plural form of the title. For male couples, you can write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" instead of "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith." Similarly, for female couples, you can use "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams" or "Mrs. Amanda Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams" if you prefer. These guidelines also apply if the couple has a hyphenated last name.

It's worth noting that the rules for addressing invitations to same-sex couples are not rigid, and different couples may have varying preferences. If you're unsure about the preferred format, it's always a good idea to ask the couple directly. They will likely appreciate your consideration, and you can ensure your invitations are addressed correctly.

Ordering names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the ordering of names is flexible and depends on a few factors. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Alphabetical Order

If you are unsure how to order the names, arranging them alphabetically is a safe option. This is the default way to list two people when the order doesn't matter. For example: "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams".

Primary Invite

If you are primarily inviting one person and extending the invitation to their partner as a courtesy, list the primary invitee's name first, followed by their partner's name. For example, if you are inviting your friend Roger Gonzalez and their partner Alex Gonzalez, the invitation would be addressed as: "Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez".

Married Couple with Same Last Name

If the married couple shares the same last name, you can use the plural form of the title. For men, you can write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith". For women, you can write "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams". Alternatively, you can still choose to give each name its own title and separate them with "and", like "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams".

Unmarried Couple

For an unmarried gay couple, address each person individually with their appropriate title and write each name on a separate line. The order of the names doesn't typically matter, but alphabetical order is a safe choice. For example: "Mr. George Bellafante, Mr. Thomas Jones".

Remember, these are general guidelines, and it's always best to ask the couple about their preferred form of address to ensure you use their preferred names and titles accurately.

Frequently asked questions