Wedding Invitation Wording: No Kids Allowed, How?

Planning a wedding can be a tricky business, and deciding whether or not to invite children is a controversial topic. Many couples opt for a child-free wedding, and it's important to convey this to your guests in a polite and considerate way. The key is to be direct and clear, without being rude or too subtle. This gives parents enough notice to make childcare arrangements and avoids any potential confusion or awkward conversations later on. While it's generally advised not to explicitly state adults-only on the invitation, you can use subtle hints and careful wording to get the message across.

Be clear and direct

If you want to be clear and direct about your wedding being a child-free event, it's best to avoid any ambiguity and state your request in simple and explicit terms. Here are some ways to do this:

Be Direct and Explicit

You can be direct and explicit by using phrases such as:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16/18 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding."
• "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "No children under the age of 16 will be permitted."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."

Addressing Envelopes and Invitations

Another way to be clear and direct is to address the envelopes and invitations specifically to those invited, without including children. This makes it explicit that children are not invited. For example:

• Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan
• Inner Envelope: Mike and Annie

You can also be explicit on the response card by stating the number of spots reserved for the invited guests:

"We have reserved two spots for you. ___ Will attend ___ Sorry to miss it!"

Be Clear About Your Reasons

If you want to provide a reason for your request, you can be direct by stating your reasons clearly. For example:

• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
• "Due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite under-18s to our wedding."
• "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited seating."

Be Consistent

It's important to be consistent with your "no kids" policy. Make clear exceptions, such as for children of immediate family or those in the wedding party, and ensure other guests are aware of these exceptions to avoid confusion.

Be Prepared for Some Parents to Decline

Finally, it's important to remember that some parents may not be able to attend due to the child-free nature of your wedding. This is normal, and you shouldn't be disheartened. It's also common for attending parents to leave early, so be prepared for that as well.

Address envelopes correctly

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to use the correct titles and follow the appropriate format, especially if you want to specify that children are not invited. Here are some detailed instructions on how to address envelopes correctly when sending wedding invitations:

General Guidelines:

• Always use the complete, formal name of your guest.
• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations of names.
• Do not use any abbreviations or numerals, except for numbered street names (e.g., 101 and higher), house numbers (21 and higher), and zip codes.
• Write out the full name of the road, street, avenue, etc., and the state name.
• For a casual wedding, you may use less formal addressing, such as leaving off titles or using just first names.

Addressing Envelopes to Families:

When sending wedding invitations to a family, decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you want to be specific, write the names of each invited family member, including children. Here's how to format the addresses:

Outer Envelope:

• If the whole family is invited, use the family name or the names of the parents: "The Simpson Family" or "Mr. & Mrs. Homer Simpson".
• If you want to specify which family members are invited, list the parents' names first, followed by the invited children's names in order of age: "Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson, Mr. Bart Simpson, Miss Lisa Simpson".

Inner Envelope:

List the first names of all invited family members: "Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie".

Addressing Envelopes to Couples:

The format for addressing couples depends on their marital status and whether they share the same last name. Here are some examples:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

Outer Envelope:

• Heterosexual couple: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".
• Same-sex couple: "Mr. and Mr. Thomas Warren" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".

Inner Envelope:

"Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names: "Thomas and Michelle".

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

Outer Envelope:

• Heterosexual couple: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Same-sex couple: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mrs. David Estevez" or "Mr. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

Inner Envelope:

"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or use their first names: "Maria and David".

Unmarried Couple Living Together:

Outer Envelope:

List both individuals' names on separate lines: "Mr. Stanley Kim" and "Ms. Amanda Rhee".

Inner Envelope:

"Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or use their first names: "Stanley and Amanda".

Addressing Envelopes to Individuals:

When addressing an envelope to a single individual, consider their age, marital status, and gender identity to choose the appropriate title and format. Here are some examples:

Single Female:

Outer Envelope:

• Use "Ms." if she is over 18: "Ms. Stephanie Chen".
• If she is under 18, use "Miss": "Miss Stephanie Chen".

Inner Envelope:

"Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen", or use their first name: "Stephanie".

Single Male:

Outer Envelope:

• Use "Mr." if he is over 18: "Mr. James Montgomery".
• If he is under 18, no title is necessary: "James Montgomery".

Inner Envelope:

"Mr. Montgomery" or use their first name: "James".

Non-Binary Individual:

Use the honorific "Mx." if they identify as non-binary: "Mx. Courtney Andrews".

Explain budget and space limitations

Deciding to have a child-free wedding can be a tricky conversation to navigate. Here are some ways to explain to your guests that your wedding will be adults-only due to budget and space limitations:

Be Direct and Honest

It's best to be direct and honest with your guests about your wedding being adults-only. Some ways to phrase this are:

• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "While we adore your children, our budget will only allow us to accommodate adult guests at our wedding."
• "We regret that due to cost restrictions, we are only able to invite over-18s to our wedding."

Offer Alternatives

If you want to, you can offer alternatives to your guests with children, such as providing a creche/professional babysitting service at the venue. This can be a nice gesture, but it is not obligatory. You could say something like:

"Regrettably, our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."

Be Consistent

It's important to be consistent with your adults-only policy. Make clear exceptions, such as for children of immediate family, and let other guests know about these exceptions. For example:

• "Due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that children are only invited if named."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception."

Provide Advance Notice

It's recommended to give your guests with children plenty of advance notice so that they can make childcare arrangements. You could say something like:

"Unfortunately, we are unable to invite children to our special day. We hope that this advance notice means you are still able to attend."

Make a Personal Phone Call

If you feel comfortable, you could make a personal phone call to guests with children to explain your decision. You don't have to give a lengthy explanation, but it can be a nice way to address any concerns they may have.

Be prepared for parents to decline

It is completely valid to decide not to have children at your wedding. However, it is essential to choose your words carefully when letting your guests know about your adult-only policy. While some parents will be happy to jump at the opportunity of a child-free evening, it is their decision to make. Some parents may find it inconvenient to be away from their children and may decline your invitation. It is also important to remember that parents who do attend may not be able to stay for the whole event.

If you are having a destination wedding, it may be more difficult to enforce a child-free policy. This is because it is harder for parents to travel abroad without their children, and they may not want to arrange childcare in another country.

If you are particularly close to any friends or family with children, it is a nice idea to include a personal note with the invitations explaining that you are sorry not to include them. You could also consider offering a crèche or babysitter, although this is not obligatory.

• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception."
• "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
• "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
• "We are unable to accommodate children, but we hope that you will still be able to attend."

Offer a crèche or babysitter

Offering a crèche or babysitter is a nice gesture to help parents attend your wedding. It is not obligatory, but it can be a good way to ensure parents can relax and enjoy the day. Here are some ways to communicate this option to your guests:

Be Clear and Direct

It is important to be clear and direct when communicating your wedding plans to guests. This will help to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding. Here is an example of clear and direct wording:

"We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from 6 pm onwards, the wedding will be adults-only. We will be providing a crèche, please see our wedding website for further details."

Provide Details on Your Wedding Website

If you have a wedding website, this can be a great place to provide additional details about the crèche or babysitting services you are offering. This can include information such as the location of the crèche, the ages of children accepted, and any other relevant information parents may need to know. Here is an example of what you could include:

"We are happy to offer a crèche service for children during the wedding reception. The crèche will be located in a separate room within the venue, and will be supervised by professional babysitters. Please visit our wedding website for more information and to register your child."

Communicate Exceptions

If you are making exceptions for certain children, such as those in the wedding party or immediate family, be sure to communicate this clearly to your guests. This will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. For example:

"We are delighted to welcome children to our wedding, including those in the wedding party and immediate family. For all other guests, we will be providing a crèche service during the reception. Please visit our wedding website for more information."

Be Consistent

It is important to be consistent when communicating your wedding plans, including the use of a crèche or babysitter. This means ensuring that all guests are aware of the options available to them and that there are no mixed messages. For example, if you offer a crèche for some guests, be sure to offer it to all guests with children. Consistency will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Be Sensitive and Compassionate

While it is your wedding and your decision to offer a crèche or babysitter, it is important to be sensitive and compassionate to the needs and feelings of your guests. Some parents may decline your invitation or leave early if they are unable to bring their children. Others may need to make special arrangements for their children's care. Be respectful of their decisions and try to accommodate their needs as best you can.

Frequently asked questions