Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Same-Sex Couples

When it comes to addressing same-sex couples on wedding invitations, there are a few options to consider. If the couple is married, their names can be written on the same line, separated by and. For example, Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith. Alternatively, you can use the plural form of the title, such as The Messrs. Dan and John Smith. If the couple is not married, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually on separate lines, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. It's also important to consider the couple's preferences, as some same-sex couples may have specific ways they like to be addressed.

Married, different last names: Both names on the same line, separated by and

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married same-sex couple with different last names, the general rule is to write both names on the same line, separated by "and". For example, if the couple has kept their last names, the invitation can be addressed as "Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green".

In terms of the order of the names, there is flexibility. The names can be listed alphabetically, or you can list the person you are closest to first. For instance, if you are inviting John Smith and Dan Brown, you could write "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Mr. Dan Brown".

If the married couple has the same last name, the French plural forms "messieurs" and "mesdames" can be used, abbreviated as "Messrs." and "Mmes." For example, "Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews" or "Messrs. Charles and John Green". Alternatively, you can use the format "Mrs. Anna Andrews and Mrs. Emily Andrews", depending on the couple's preference.

When addressing the outer and inner envelopes, the format is slightly different. For the outer envelope, write the names on the same line, with the person who is being addressed first, followed by "and", and then the other person's name. For example, "Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green". For the inner envelope, you can list the names without honorifics, such as "Charles and John".

Married, same last name: The Messrs. or The Mesdames

When addressing a same-sex married couple with the same last name, you can use the plural form of the title. This is especially useful when the couple has a hyphenated last name. For male couples, you can write "The Messrs." followed by their first names and last name, for example, "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith". For female couples, you can write "The Mesdames" followed by their first names and last name, for instance, "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams".

The French have provided us with an easy way to address same-sex married couples with the same last name. The French word for "mister" is "monsieur", and the plural version is "messieurs", abbreviated as "Messrs.". Similarly, the plural form of "madame" is "mesdames", abbreviated as "Mmes.".

Using the plural form of the titles is a great option, but you can also give each name its own title. For example, "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams". If the couple has a hyphenated last name, the same rules apply.

If one member of the couple is a doctor, it is acceptable to use "Dr." or "Doctor" for that person. For example, "Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones". If both are doctors, you can put "Drs." or "Doctors" at the beginning of the address, like "Drs. Maria and Laura Constantine".

When addressing close relatives, the "Mr." or "Mrs." can be omitted if preferred.

Unmarried: Each person addressed individually on a separate line

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried same-sex couples, traditional etiquette states that you should address each individual separately. Each name should be written on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. This format is also applicable when the couple remains unmarried for legal reasons but still considers themselves a permanent pair.

• Mr. Charles Adams
• Mr. John Green
• Ms. Susan Bunch
• Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch
• Mr. Mitchell Pritchett
• Mr. Cameron Tucker
• Ms. Rachel Green
• Mr. Ross Geller

When addressing same-sex couples, it is important to respect their preferences and relationships. If you are unsure about the appropriate format, it is always a good idea to ask the couple about their preferred greeting. This way, you can avoid any potential mistakes and ensure that your invitations are respectful and inclusive.

Married, one hyphenated last name: Names on the same line, or with the hyphenated name last

When addressing a wedding invitation to a same-sex married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options. The key thing to remember is that the names should be written on the same line, separated by "and".

Firstly, you can give each name its own title, for example: "Mr. Michael Jones and Mrs. Mary Smith-Jones". However, "Mrs." is not technically correct if a woman has hyphenated her name, so "Ms." is often preferred. Therefore, the correct form would be: "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones".

Another option is to use the plural form of the title. For men, you could write "The Messrs. [Names] Smith-Jones", and for women, "The Mesdames [Names] Smith-Jones". This is especially useful if the couple has the same hyphenated last name.

If you are unsure, it is always best to ask the couple for their preferred greeting.

Alphabetical order: If unsure, use alphabetical order or ask the couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a same-sex couple, the alphabetical order of their names is a good rule of thumb if you are unsure about their preference or are concerned about offending them. This is especially helpful if you are concerned about the couple's preference for traditional or innovative language. Alphabetical order can be a safe option when you are unsure about the couple's preference or their views on the formality of the wedding invitation.

If the couple is unmarried, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually, with their names written on separate lines. In this case, alphabetical order can be used to determine the order of the names. For example, if inviting an unmarried couple with different last names, the invitation could be addressed to "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".

On the other hand, if the couple is married, their names are typically written on the same line, separated by "and". Again, alphabetical order can be used to determine the order of the names. For example, "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams".

Another option for married couples with the same last name is to use the plural form of the title. For men, you could write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" instead of "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith". For women, "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams" or "Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews" would be appropriate.

If you are unsure about the couple's marital status or their preference for name order, it is always best to ask them directly. This way, you can respect their wishes and avoid any potential misunderstandings or confusion.

Frequently asked questions