Franklin Dean
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, it's important to get it right to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected on your big day. While the world of wedding invitation etiquette can be complex, there are some simple guidelines to follow. Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal, using full names and titles, while the inner envelope is more informal, allowing for first names only. For military personnel, judges, doctors, lawyers, and other distinguished titles, it is proper to address them by their title on the wedding invitation. For a couple with the same last name, you can use Mr. and Mrs., or use both partners' first and last names. If they have different last names, you can list either name first, based on your preference or alphabetisation.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope | Full names, no abbreviated titles |
| Inner envelope | Abbreviated titles |
| Married couple, different sexes, same last name | Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's first name] [Shared last name] |
| Married couple, same sex, same last name | The Mesdames [First name] and [First name] [Shared last name] or The Mssrs. [First name] and [First name] [Shared last name] |
| Married couple, different sexes, different last names | Mr. [Man's first name] [Man's last name] and Mrs. [Woman's first name] [Woman's last name] |
| Married couple, same sex, different last names | Ms. [First name] [Last name] and Ms. [First name] [Last name] or Mr. [First name] [Last name] and Mr. [First name] [Last name] |
| Married couple, one person is a doctor | Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Name] or Mr./Mrs. [Name] and Dr. [Name] |
| Married couple, both are doctors | The Doctors [Shared last name] or Drs. [Name] and [Name] |
| Military personnel | Lieutenant/Captain/Major/Colonel [Name], [Military branch] and Mrs./Mr. [Name] |
What You'll Learn
Outer envelope: Full names, no abbreviated titles
When addressing a wedding invitation to a military member, it's important to follow the correct etiquette to ensure your guests feel respected. Here are some guidelines for addressing an outer envelope to a captain, following the format of "full names, no abbreviated titles":
For a married couple where both spouses are captains:
- Captains Thomas and Maria Marquette
- The Captains Marquette
In different services with the wife retaining her maiden name:
- Captain Maria Green
- Captain Thomas Marquette
- Major Green and Captain Marquette
In different services with the same last name:
- Captain Thomas and Major Maria Marquette
- Captain and Major Marquette
For a single captain:
Captain James Rice Taylor
If you are addressing a retired captain, you can use the following format:
Captain Richard James Dixon, United States Air Force, Retired
It is also acceptable to use "Major" or "Lieutenant" instead of "Captain" if the invitee holds one of those ranks.
Remember, these are just some examples, and you should always aim to use your guest's preferred title and name.
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Inner envelope: Abbreviated titles
When addressing a wedding invitation to a member of the military, it is important to follow the correct etiquette. Military wedding invitations follow the same general guidelines as civilian weddings, but there are some differences in the use of titles. Traditionally, brides who are members of the military do not use their titles on the invitations, but they can if they wish.
- Captain Jane Kelly, US Navy: Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy
- Captain James Rice Taylor: Captain Taylor
- Captain Jane Kelly and Mr. John Smith: Captain Kelly and Mr. Smith
- Captain Jane Kelly and Lieutenant John Smith, US Navy: Captain Kelly and Lieutenant Smith, US Navy
The outer envelope should include the full name, without abbreviated titles. The inner envelope is more informal and can include abbreviations.
It is important to note that military titles should never be abbreviated.
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Military titles should never be abbreviated
When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to follow the correct etiquette, especially when it comes to titles. Military titles, in particular, have specific rules that should be followed.
If any of your guests hold a military title, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title on the wedding invitation envelope. This is the same whether you are inviting a single person or a couple. For example, if you are inviting a single captain, you would address the outer envelope to "Captain James Rice Taylor". If you are inviting a couple with the same rank, you would address them as "Captains Thomas and Maria Marquette".
It is worth noting that military titles should never be abbreviated. The outer envelope should always include the full title and name, while the inner envelope can use abbreviations. For example, "Captain James Rice Taylor" on the outside and "Captain Taylor" on the inside. This rule applies to all military ranks, from captain to lieutenant colonel and beyond.
Military titles are capitalised and abbreviated only when they precede a person's name and become part of their title. For example, "Gen. Hartzog" or "Lt. Col. Smith". This standardisation is consistent across all military branches and helps to avoid confusion.
In addition, when addressing a couple where one or both hold military titles, the person with the higher-ranking title should be named first, regardless of gender. So, for example, "Captains Josephine and Jonathan Wood, US Navy".
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Retired officers generally keep their titles
Military wedding invitations follow the same general guidelines as civilian weddings, with some differences in the use of titles. The bride's/groom's rank and service, and that of any of their parents, are included. While it is traditional for brides who are members of the military not to use their titles on the invitations, they absolutely can and should if they want to!
Retired officers, especially those in the ranks of Commander and Lieutenant Colonel, generally keep their titles in civilian life and use them on wedding invitations. They should note that they are retired if the invitation is issued in their name alone. For example:
> Lieutenant Colonel Richard James Dixon
> United States Air Force, Retired
> requests the honour of your presence...
When officers' names are used with their spouse's name, the branch of service is not mentioned on the line underneath. For example:
> Lieutenant Colonel and Mrs. Richard James Dixon
> request the honour of your presence...
Note that military titles should never be abbreviated.
If the retired officer is a guest at the wedding, their invitation should be addressed with their full name, with no abbreviated title:
> Lieutenant Colonel Richard James Dixon
The inner envelope can be addressed with an abbreviation:
> Lieutenant Colonel Dixon
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If both partners have distinguished titles, the higher-ranking title comes first
When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process when both partners have distinguished titles:
Outer Envelope Etiquette:
The outer envelope is the first impression your guests will have of your wedding invitation. It should be formal and include the full names and titles of the invitees. When both partners have distinguished titles, such as military ranks, the person with the higher-ranking title should be named first. For example, if one partner is a Captain and the other is a Lieutenant in the Navy, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Captain Jane Kelly and Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy".
Inner Envelope Etiquette:
The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to be more flexible with titles and names. You can choose to include both partners' titles and last names or just their first names. Following the previous example, the inner envelope could be addressed to "Captain Kelly and Lieutenant Kelly" or "Jane and Jonathan".
Abbreviations and Formality:
It is important to note that military titles should never be abbreviated on the outer envelope. However, on the inner envelope, abbreviations are acceptable. Additionally, when addressing married couples with the same rank and service, you can use "The Captains Marquette" as a respectful and formal option.
Same-Rank Couples:
When addressing a couple with the same rank and service, such as "Captains Thomas and Maria Marquette", you can use their shared title followed by their names. Alternatively, you can mention their rank, service, and last name, such as "Captains Thomas and Maria Marquette, US Navy".
Different Ranks and Services:
If the couple has different ranks and services, you have a few options for addressing them. When the wife has retained her maiden name, you can write "Major Maria Green, Captain Thomas Marquette" or "Major Green and Captain Marquette". If they share the same last name, you can address them as "Captain Thomas Marquette and Major Maria Marquette" or "Captain and Major Marquette".
Remember, these guidelines are flexible, and you can adjust them to fit your preferences and the dynamics of your guest list. The most important aspect is to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected by using their preferred titles and names.
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Frequently asked questions
For a formal invitation, the outer envelope should be addressed using full names and titles. If the captain is a man, the correct format is: "Captain [Captain's first name] [Captain's last name] and Mrs. [Spouse's first name] [Captain's last name]". If the captain is a woman, the format is: "Captain [Captain's first name] [Captain's last name] and
For an informal invitation, you can be more flexible with the format. For example, you could address the couple by their first names, like this: "[Captain's first name] and [Spouse's first name]".
If the couple has different last names, you can list either name first, depending on your preference or who you are closest with. For a formal invitation, the outer envelope could be addressed as follows: "Captain [Captain's first name] [Captain's last name] and Mr./Mrs. [Spouse's first name] [Spouse's last name]". For an informal invitation, you could simply use their first names: "[Captain's first name] and [Spouse's first name]".
If both members of the couple are captains, you can address them as "The Captains [Last name]" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can use their first names: "[First name] and [First name]".
If one spouse is a retired captain, you can include the word retired after "captain" on the outer envelope. For example: "Captain (Retired) [Captain's first name] [Captain's last name] and Mrs./Mr. [Spouse's first name] [Spouse's last name]". If both spouses are retired captains, you can address them as "The Captains (Retired) [Last name]"".
If you are only inviting the captain and not their spouse, simply address the envelope to the captain individually. For a formal invitation, use their full name and title: "Captain [Captain's first name] [Captain's last name]". For an informal invitation, you can use their first name only: "[Captain's first name]".
