Wedding Invitation Etiquette: A Step-By-Step Guide

Wedding invitations are an important piece of the planning puzzle. They set the tone for the wedding and convey critical information. The invitation suite includes all paper goods sent along with the wedding invitation and should always include a response card and important information like directions and accommodations. The average cost of wedding invitations varies per printing method. There are many components to a wedding invitation, from the host line to the request line, couple's names, date, time, and location of the ceremony, to the reception details.

What to include in a wedding invitation

Wedding invitations can be as detailed or as simple as you like, as long as you include the essential information. This includes the date, time, location, dress code, and RSVP details. Here's a comprehensive list of what to include in a wedding invitation:

Host Names

The host is usually the person or couple paying for the event. Traditionally, this would be the parents of the bride, but nowadays, it could be either set of parents, both sets, or the couple themselves.

Invitation Sentence

A warm sentence inviting guests to the wedding, such as "Request the Pleasure of Your Company," "Invite You to Celebrate the Marriage Of," or "Request the Honor of Your Presence" if the ceremony is in a place of worship.

Couple's Names

The names of the couple getting married. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name usually comes first, but you can order the names however you prefer. LGBTQIA+ couples may choose to list their names alphabetically, by age, or however they see fit. You can include first and middle names, first and last names, or full legal names.

Date and Time of the Wedding

Include the date and time of the ceremony, using full words for a formal invitation (e.g., "four o'clock in the afternoon").

Location of the Ceremony and Reception

The name and address of the ceremony and reception venues. If they are at the same location, you can simply add "Reception to Follow" or "Dinner and Dancing to Follow." If the reception is at a different location, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.

RSVP Card or Instructions

Include a separate RSVP card with a pre-addressed, stamped envelope, or provide instructions for a digital RSVP. You can also include a deadline for responses, typically three to four weeks before the wedding.

Extra Information About the Venue

If the wedding is at a unique venue or one that guests may be unfamiliar with, include an insert with extra information. This could include parking instructions, a custom map, or things to do in the area.

Wedding Website Address

Include the URL for your wedding website, where guests can find more information, such as accommodation options, registry details, and travel tips.

Envelope Information

The guest's name and address should be on the front of the mailing envelope, with the return address on the back flap. Be sure to confirm addresses and ask for preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Mx.) to ensure inclusivity.

How to address wedding invitations

Wedding invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to addressing them. Here are some tips to ensure your invitations are addressed correctly and sent out without a hitch.

Outer Envelope Addressing:

The outer envelope is the one that gets stamped and addressed to your guests. Traditionally, this envelope is more formal and includes the recipient's full name and title. For example, for a married couple with the same last name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

If you prefer a more modern approach, you can forgo titles and use first and last names:

> Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren

For a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line, with the woman's name first:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If you are inviting a family, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and include their children's names on the inner envelope:

> Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

> Inner envelope: Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

Inner Envelope Addressing:

The inner envelope is optional and is more informal. It includes the names of the invitees and contains the invitation inside. You can use titles and last names or just first names. For a married couple with the same last name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Warren

Or simply:

> Thomas and Michelle

For a married couple with different last names:

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez

Or:

> Maria and David

Other Considerations:

• Always double-check your guests' preferred titles, especially if they have distinguished titles like "Doctor" or "Judge".
• If a single person has been offered a plus-one, you can indicate this on the inner envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen and guest".
• When addressing unmarried couples, list the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner's name.
• It is not necessary to handwrite the addresses. You can print guest address labels, buy pre-printed envelopes, or hire a local calligrapher.
• Give yourself enough time to assemble and send out your invitations. A good rule of thumb is to order them 6 months in advance and send them out 2-4 months before the wedding.

Wedding invitation wording

Wedding invitations are an important piece of the planning puzzle. They convey critical information and set the tone for the wedding. Whether you want to keep the wording classic and traditional or creative and whimsical is up to you, but there are some basic elements that should be included.

Host Line

The opening line on a wedding invitation names the hosts of the event, usually the people paying for the wedding. The wording will vary depending on who is hosting. It could be one set of parents, both sets of parents, the couple and their parents, or just the couple. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. and Mrs. John L. Smith request the pleasure of your company..."
• "Together with their families..."
• "Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney request the pleasure of your company..."

Request Line

The request line is where you invite your guests to join your wedding celebration. Traditionally, couples include formal wording to denote a formal religious ceremony, while modern celebrations tend to use more casual language. Here are some examples:

• "Invite you to join"
• "Please join us to celebrate"
• "The pleasure of your company"

Couple's Names

Make sure the couple's names are front and centre. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name traditionally comes first. For same-sex couples, whose name comes first is up to you. Here are some examples:

• "Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim"
• "Emily Olivia Leah and John Burke"
• "Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney"

Date, Time, and Location

Include the date, start time, and location of the ceremony. For formal invitations, spell out the date, time, and location in full. For modern invites, numerical figures are often used. Here are some examples:

• "Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four..."
• "July 10, 2010 at half past six in the evening..."
• "Saturday, 27 September 2014 at noon..."

Reception Details

If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, just say "reception to follow." If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address on a separate card. Here are some examples:

• "Reception to follow"
• "Dinner and dancing to follow"
• "Cocktails, dinner and dancing to follow"

Optional Details

• Dress code: Including dress code information is helpful for guests, especially if your wedding is black tie.
• RSVP details: Include an RSVP card with a reply-by date, or direct guests to your wedding website.
• Registry details: It is not typical to include registry details on the invitation. Instead, provide this information on your wedding website.

Wedding invitation design

Wedding invitations are a perfect preview of your special day. They can be designed to reflect the theme of your wedding, whether it's rustic, modern, or boho. Here are some tips and guidelines for designing your wedding invitations:

Know Your Wedding Style and Colours:

It's important to have a clear vision of your wedding style, whether it's formal or casual, modern or boho. Knowing your colour scheme will also guide the design process. A wedding planner can help create a mood board to guide your selections.

Choose a Designer or DIY:

You can opt for a custom or semi-custom design. A wedding invitation designer will create a unique or semi-custom set for you. Semi-custom means you choose an existing design and add personal touches like colour and printing style. You can also design your own using online templates.

Include the Right Information:

Traditionally, invitations include who is hosting, the couple's names, the wedding date, time, venue name, location, dress code, and if a reception will follow. Don't forget to proofread and double-check that all the important details are included.

Response Cards:

These can be traditional cards or postcards. Remember to pre-stamp these for your guests and include a deadline for responses, usually about 2-3 weeks before the wedding.

Enclosure or Details Card:

This is where you can include additional information like your wedding website, accommodation suggestions, and dress code.

Map and/or Direction Information Card:

Including a map or direction card is especially helpful for destination weddings or if your venue is hard to find. Custom maps with tips on places to visit are a fun addition.

Timing and Ordering:

It's recommended to order your invitations 6 months ahead of your wedding date, and ideally within a window of 4-9 months. This allows time for any delays and gives vendors ample time to work on them.

Extras:

You may want to add embellishments like belly bands, vellum jackets, wax seals, or ribbons. Don't forget to order extra invitations, usually 15-25, for last-minute guests or keepsakes.

Envelope Addressing:

Consider hiring a calligrapher to add a beautiful, personal touch to your envelopes. It's a convenient option and makes for a wonderful keepsake.

Postage:

Check the correct postage for your invitations and response cards, as it can change over time.

Digital Invitations:

If you prefer, you can send digital invitations via email or a wedding website. This option may be more cost-effective and convenient.

When to send wedding invitations

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial, as it impacts not just the couple's schedule but also that of their guests. It is important to give guests ample time to clear their schedules, plan their outfits, organise travel arrangements, and prepare any gifts.

In general, it is recommended that wedding invitations be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This is considered the "sweet spot", giving guests enough time to respond while staying in line with proper wedding invitation etiquette. Sending invitations too early may result in guests losing or forgetting the information, while sending them too late may not give guests enough time to make the necessary arrangements.

However, there are certain circumstances where it may be appropriate to send invitations earlier. For destination weddings or weddings during busy holiday seasons, it is considered courteous to mail the invitations 10 to 12 weeks in advance. This allows guests ample time to plan their travel and accommodations.

Additionally, if there are many out-of-town guests, it is recommended to send invitations at least eight weeks in advance, with some sources suggesting up to 12 weeks. This ensures that guests have enough time to request time off from work, secure accommodations, and make travel arrangements.

On the other hand, some sources suggest that sending invitations three to four months before the wedding is also acceptable, especially if guests need time to save and book a trip. This is particularly relevant for destination weddings, where guests may need to book flights and accommodation.

In summary, the ideal timeline for sending out wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. However, this timeline can be adjusted depending on the specific circumstances of the wedding, such as the location, the number of out-of-town guests, and the time of year. Couples should aim to give their guests enough time to plan and respond, while also considering the potential for changes in plans and last-minute adjustments.

Frequently asked questions