Rhiannon Hendricks
Including children in your wedding party is a fun tradition. Flower girls and ring bearers are usually between the ages of three and eight, but it's not uncommon for them to be younger or older, or even adults. While it's more common to have multiple flower girls, it's also possible to have more than one ring bearer. If you have a large family or many special children in your life, you can have multiple flower girls and ring bearers or think of other ways to include them in your wedding, such as making them junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, or giving them flower wreaths or boutonnieres to wear.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age | Between 3 and 8 years old, but can be younger or older |
| Number | More than one of each is possible |
| Gender | Can be mixed |
| Responsibilities | Delivering the rings, throwing petals, blowing bubbles, waving ribbon wands |
| Attire | Kid-sized tuxedos or suits for boys; poofy dresses or outfits that mimic the bride's for girls |
| Parents | Should be available to help watch and encourage their child |
What You'll Learn
Choosing the right children
Age
Traditionally, flower girls and ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight years old. However, don't let this stop you from choosing someone younger or older, or even an adult, especially if you prefer not to include children in your wedding. Younger children are more prone to tantrums, crying, and stage fright, so it's important to consider the child's ability to handle the role and the potential need for backup plans. If you're looking for a happy medium, kids between five and ten years old are great candidates as they can handle more complex tasks with minimal issues.
Relationship
It's essential to choose children who are special to you and with whom you share a close relationship or whose parents are close to you. This can be a diplomatic way to include family members in your wedding, such as nieces, nephews, or children of the maid of honour or best man. Don't be afraid to have more than one flower girl or ring bearer, and feel free to break gender rules!
Rehearsal and Practice
Including the chosen children in the wedding rehearsal is highly recommended to help them feel comfortable and familiar with the surroundings and other bridal party members. This also gives them an opportunity to practice their roles and can help you assess how they might handle the responsibilities on the big day.
Attire
When deciding on the attire for the flower girls and ring bearers, consider coordinating their outfits with the wedding theme and the attire of the bridal party. For flower girls, you can choose a dress that mimics the style of the bride's gown or opt for a colour that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. For ring bearers, a kid-sized tuxedo or suit is traditional, but you can also dress them up in suspenders, a bow tie, a hat, or a patterned jacket. Keep in mind that the child's parents typically pay for the outfit, so be sure to provide options at different price points.
Rings and Alternatives
When it comes to the rings, you may want to consider using fake rings or giving the real rings to the best man to avoid any potential mishaps. Ring pillows are traditional, but there are also alternative options, such as glass ring boxes or engraved wood slices. If you're feeling creative, you can even include your pets as ring bearers!
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Age range
Flower girls and ring bearers are usually children between the ages of three and eight years old. However, couples may choose to include younger children or even adults in these roles.
Age Considerations
When selecting flower girls and ring bearers, it is important to consider the age and maturity of the children. Younger children, such as toddlers, might be too nervous or skittish to perform the duties confidently. They may also be prone to tantrums, crying, or stage fright. On the other hand, older children might be better suited as junior groomsmen or junior bridesmaids.
Alternatives for Younger Children
If a couple has their heart set on including a very young child who might not be able to walk yet, there are other options to consider. One option is to have them pulled down the aisle in a wagon by an older child or teenager, or even carried by an adult. Another option is to have the child wear a flower crown instead of throwing petals, which may be challenging for very young flower girls.
Including Older Children
For children between the ages of five and ten, they are more likely to be able to walk down the aisle with minimal issues and can be trusted to execute more complicated tasks, such as throwing petals, blowing bubbles, or waving ribbon wands.
No Age Limits
Ultimately, there are no strict age limits for flower girls and ring bearers. Couples can choose to include children of any age or even adults in these roles, especially if they prefer to have an adults-only ceremony. It is also worth noting that these roles are traditionally assigned by gender, but it is becoming increasingly common to see girls as ring bearers and boys as flower girls.
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What they should wear
Deciding what your flower girls and ring bearers wear on your wedding day is one of the most enjoyable parts of planning. Flower girls should wear a dress that mimics the style of the bride's gown, such as lace detailing, a flowy skirt, or delicate beading. If you want something a little different, opt for a dress in a colour that matches the bridesmaids' dresses or a textured fabric.
For the ring bearers, traditionally they wear a kid-sized tuxedo or suit. Just make sure it coordinates with the groom or groomsmen's attire. If a tux isn't your style, have fun dressing them up in suspenders, a classic bow tie, a hat, or a patterned jacket.
If you're worried about the cost, remember that the child's parents will most likely pay for the outfit, so be sure to give them options at all price points. As with the wedding party, the ring bearer's parents will pay for their attire. However, a ring bearer gift is a thoughtful gesture, so you may want to purchase the outfit or pick out an accessory that could become a cherished memento.
If you're having very young flower girls, they may not be able to throw petals, so an option is to have them wear flower crowns instead.
For the ring bearers, if they are very young, they may not be able to carry the rings, so it's best to just have them hold an empty pillow or a decorative sign. There is also the option of tying plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow for the full effect.
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Whether they should carry the real rings
The big day is approaching, and you're finalising the details of your wedding ceremony. You've decided to include a flower girl and a ring bearer, but now you're faced with a tricky question: should they carry the real rings?
There are a few factors to consider when making this decision. Firstly, the age and maturity of the children involved. If your ring bearer is very young, they may be more likely to misplace or even swallow the rings. In this case, it might be best to opt for fake rings or decorative signs instead. You could also tie plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow to achieve the full effect without risking your actual wedding bands.
Another option is to involve the best man. Most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings as a precaution. If your ring bearer is old enough to walk down the aisle but still quite young, you could have the best man hand them the rings just before they walk down the aisle. This minimises the risk of losing the rings while still allowing the ring bearer to participate in this tradition.
Additionally, consider the dependability and trustworthiness of the child. If they are mature and responsible, they may be able to handle the care of your rings. However, if you have any doubts, it might be best to err on the side of caution and go with fake rings or have the best man hold the real ones.
Finally, don't forget to include the children in the rehearsal! This will help them feel more comfortable and give you a chance to see how they handle the rings. If you decide to go with fake rings, this is also a great opportunity to test out the alternative options and see what works best for your wedding party.
In conclusion, whether your flower girl and ring bearer should carry the real rings depends on a few factors, including the age and maturity of the children, the involvement of the best man, and the dependability of the children. Ultimately, use your best judgment and don't be afraid to break tradition if it suits you and your partner better.
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Involving their parents
Involving the parents of your flower girls and ring bearers is an important aspect of including children in your wedding. Here are some tips to ensure the process is smooth and enjoyable for everyone involved:
Communicate with the Parents
It is essential to maintain open communication with the parents of the children you choose to be your flower girls and ring bearers. Discuss the responsibilities and expectations of their roles, and ensure they are comfortable with the tasks assigned to their children. It is also a good idea to involve the parents in any backup plans you may have in case the children need support or become overwhelmed during the wedding.
Include Parents in Decisions
When deciding on the attire for your flower girls and ring bearers, it is considerate to talk to their parents. Ask them if they prefer to choose the outfit themselves or if they would like guidance from you. Keep in mind that traditionally, the parents of the children pay for the outfits, so be mindful of their budget and provide options at different price points.
Rehearsals and Events
Including the flower girls and ring bearers in the wedding rehearsal is beneficial for everyone. It allows the children to become familiar with the surroundings and meet the other members of the wedding party. It is also customary to invite them to the rehearsal dinner if they are old enough to attend. If the flower girl is older, it is polite to invite her to the bridal shower and the "get ready" party.
Ring Bearing Options
When it comes to the ring bearer's role of carrying the rings, there are a few options to consider. You can choose to have the best man carry the actual rings to avoid any mishaps, especially if the ring bearer is very young. Alternatively, you can provide the ring bearer with fake rings to ensure the real rings are safe. If you feel confident, you can decide to hand the real rings to the ring bearer right before they walk down the aisle.
Flexibility and Support
Including young children in your wedding comes with the possibility of unexpected moments, such as tantrums or stage fright. It is important to be flexible and work together with the parents to navigate these situations. The parents may need to bring toys, treats, or other comfort items to help their children through any challenging moments. They may also need to accompany their children down the aisle, either by holding their hands or carrying them.
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Frequently asked questions
You can have as many flower girls as you like. While it is more common to have one or two flower girls, some couples have had up to five flower girls. It's your wedding, so break tradition if you want to!
You can have as many ring bearers as you like. While it is more common to have one or two ring bearers, some couples have had up to five ring bearers. It's your wedding, so break tradition if you want to!
Flower girls should wear a dress that mimics the style of the bride's gown. For the ring bearers, traditionally they wear a kid-sized tuxedo or suit. However, it is okay to break tradition and have your ring bearer and flower girl wear whatever you want, especially if your wedding theme is less formal.
