Ring Bearer Pillow: To Use Or Not?

A ring bearer pillow is a small square pillow that holds the wedding rings, secured with a ribbon. It is carried by the ring bearer, a role typically given to young children, who walks down the aisle before the bride and gives the rings to the wedding officiant or best man. While it is not required, it can be a beautiful keepsake and a great photo opportunity. If you are worried about the cost, you can opt for a DIY ring pillow or choose a more affordable option. Alternatively, you can skip the tradition and have the best man hold the rings in his pocket.

Do ring bearers have to carry a pillow?

A ring bearer is a role in a wedding party that is typically given to young children, who precede the bride down the aisle, often walking at the same time as the flower girl. The child usually carries the wedding ring on a small square pillow, known as a ring bearer pillow, which is specifically designed to be easy for small hands to carry.

However, the use of a ring bearer pillow is not required. While it can make a beautiful keepsake after the wedding, it is not essential to the ceremony. There are several alternative ways to include a ring bearer in your wedding without the use of a pillow. For example, you could secure the rings to a ribbon tied around your favourite poem or scripture, place the rings in a bouquet, or have the wedding rings carried in a briefcase labelled 'RING SECURITY'. You could also skip the tradition altogether and opt for the best man to hold the rings in his pocket.

If you do choose to use a ring bearer pillow, it is important to consider the age and size of the ring bearer when choosing the size of the pillow. If the pillow is too big, it may be bulky and difficult for the child to carry, whereas a pillow that is too small may be awkward for them to hold. It is also worth noting that decoy rings are typically used on the pillow to avoid any mishaps with the real wedding rings.

What age should a ring bearer be?

While there is no definitive answer to the question of what age a ring bearer should be, there are some general guidelines and considerations to keep in mind.

Firstly, it is important to note that the role of a ring bearer is typically given to young children who precede the bride down the aisle and carry the wedding rings on a pillow. The age range for a ring bearer can vary, but traditionally, they are between the ages of three and eight or nine. This ensures that the child is mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with being a ring bearer.

However, some sources suggest that the age range can be broader, from as young as four to as old as twelve. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and it is not uncommon to see ring bearers as young as two and a half or as old as sixteen. If you are considering a child older than ten, you may want to give them a junior groomsman role instead, which comes with more responsibilities and involvement in pre-wedding events.

It is worth noting that the age of the ring bearer can impact their ability to carry out the task. Younger children may be more prone to tantrums, crying, or stage fright, so it is essential to speak with the child's parents beforehand to assess whether they can handle the role and escort the child down the aisle if needed.

Additionally, the age of the ring bearer can affect the size of the ring pillow, with smaller children needing a smaller pillow that is easier to carry.

In conclusion, while there is no right or wrong answer regarding the age of a ring bearer, it is essential to consider the child's maturity, ability to handle the task, and comfort level with being in the spotlight.

What happens if the rings fall off the pillow?

While a ring bearer pillow is not a requirement, it is a tradition that began in medieval times and is still a staple in many weddings. The pillow is used to carry the wedding rings down the aisle, usually by a young child, and is often adorned with ribbons to secure the rings in place.

If you decide to include a ring bearer pillow in your wedding, it is important to consider what you will do if the rings fall off. Here are some suggestions to handle this potential mishap:

• Use decoy rings: It is common to use fake rings on the pillow as a precaution. That way, if the rings fall off, they can be easily replaced without the stress of losing the actual wedding bands. The best man or another trusted adult can hold the real rings to ensure their safety.
• Secure the rings: To prevent the rings from falling off, you can tie them securely to the pillow with ribbons. Make sure the ribbons are tight enough to hold the rings in place, but not so tight that they stretch or damage the bands.
• Rehearse with the ring bearer: Practising with the ring bearer beforehand can help them feel more confident and reduce the risk of dropping the pillow. Go through the motions of walking down the aisle and handing off the pillow to the officiant or best man.
• Use an alternative to the ring bearer pillow: If you're concerned about the rings falling off, you might consider using an alternative, such as a ring box, briefcase, or ring dish. These options provide a more secure way to transport the rings and reduce the chances of them falling or getting lost.
• Assign a backup ring bearer: Having multiple ring bearers can act as a safety net in case something goes wrong. One option is to have a second ring bearer follow the first one carrying a backup set of rings, either real or decoy. This way, if the first ring bearer drops the pillow, the second one can quickly step in.
• Keep the rings in a safe place: If the rings do happen to fall off, it is important to have a designated safe place to store them, such as a small box or pouch. This will ensure that they are not misplaced or forgotten during the wedding ceremony.

Remember, even if the rings fall off the pillow, it is possible to recover from this moment gracefully. Having a plan in place will help you stay calm and continue with your special day.

Can the best man carry the rings instead?

While it is not required for the best man to carry the rings, it is a common practice, especially if there is no ring bearer. The best man typically holds both rings in his pocket, sometimes using a ring box to keep them safe. This ensures the rings are secure and can be accessed easily when needed.

If you are having a ring bearer, it is still an option to have the best man carry the rings. In this case, the ring bearer can walk down the aisle carrying a decorative pillow, banner, or sign, and then pass the rings to the best man. This way, you can include the traditional element of the ring bearer while ensuring the rings are in safe hands.

Some couples prefer to have the Maid/Matron of Honor carry the Groom's ring, while the Best Man carries the Bride's ring. This can be a good option if the Maid/Matron of Honor doesn't have pockets or is holding a bouquet. Ultimately, it is your wedding, so you can decide what works best for you and your wedding party.

What are some alternatives to a ring bearer pillow?

While a ring bearer pillow is not required, it can be a beautiful keepsake after the wedding. If you're looking for alternatives, here are some creative options to consider:

• Nature-inspired options: For a woodland or rustic wedding, consider a birch slice with moss, a wooden box filled with moss, a wood slice with nail and yarn hearts, or a glass bottle filled with moss and rings attached to the cork. A whitewashed pumpkin with rings on the stem is a fun idea for a fall wedding, while a starfish or seashell can be perfect for a beach or coastal celebration.
• Elegant containers: For a vintage-inspired wedding, opt for an antique teacup, a framed glass box, or a porcelain holder shaped like a butterfly. A vintage pocket watch or a book with a hidden compartment can also add a touch of elegance and creativity.
• Modern touches: If you're having a modern or minimalist wedding, consider a clear acrylic box filled with white blooms or a round wooden box with calligraphy. A simple embroidery hoop with romantic embroidery is another cute idea for a modern or boho twist.
• Creative carriers: Instead of a pillow, the ring bearer can carry a sign, such as "Here Comes the Bride." For sports fans, a ball with the ring tied to it can be a fun touch. A small flower or bouquet is another simple yet effective alternative.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose an option that represents you and your partner. Get creative and think about how you can incorporate your wedding theme, style, and location into your ring bearer's carrier!

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