Ring Bearers: Girls Can Do It Too!

While the role of ring bearer is traditionally given to boys, it is becoming increasingly common for girls to take on this responsibility. The role of the ring bearer is to precede the bride down the aisle, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow. While this is usually the job of a child between the ages of three and eight, there is no reason why a girl cannot perform this task. In fact, some couples choose to have their female dog walk the rings down the aisle!

If you are concerned about breaking with tradition, you could consider alternative names for a female ring bearer, such as ring princess or ring maiden. However, many people believe that the term ring bearer is gender-neutral and can be used for girls as well as boys. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide what you are most comfortable with.

Breaking with tradition

The role of ring bearer is a time-honoured tradition, but it is not set in stone. In fact, there are several ways to make this role your own and break with tradition.

Firstly, the role is not gender-specific. While it is usually carried out by a boy, there is no reason why a girl cannot be a ring bearer. In fact, many couples choose to do this, and it is becoming increasingly common. Girls can be ring bearers, too! It is absolutely okay to have a girl step in as a ring bearer, and a boy can just as easily throw flower petals. If you have your heart set on a girl taking on the role, then go for it!

Secondly, the bearer does not have to be human! If you have a well-behaved, much-loved family dog, then they could be the ring bearer. This is a fun way to include your pet in the ceremony and is becoming an increasingly popular choice for couples.

Thirdly, the ring bearer does not have to carry the rings. In fact, it is often recommended that they carry fake rings to avoid any potential mishaps. The bearer could carry an empty pillow, a decorative sign, or have the rings tied to a ribbon on the pillow for the full effect. Alternatively, the rings could be placed in a glass ring box or an engraved wood slice for a more modern or rustic approach.

Finally, you do not have to have a ring bearer at all! It is entirely up to you and your partner. If you would prefer not to include this role in your wedding, that is absolutely fine.

Remember, it is your wedding, and you can choose to include or break with traditions as you see fit. The most important thing is to make your day special and unique to you.

What should a ring bearer wear?

When deciding on the ring bearer's attire, it's important to consider the formality of the wedding and the overall style of the groomsmen's attire. Here are some ideas to help you choose the perfect outfit for your ring bearer:

Traditional Tuxedo or Suit

The most common approach is to dress the ring bearer in a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom's style. Alternatively, the ring bearer can wear the same outfit as the groomsmen, making them feel like "one of the guys". If you're opting for a traditional look, a small suit or tuxedo in a dark colour is always a stylish choice.

Casual Attire

For a less formal wedding, such as a beach wedding, the ring bearer can wear more casual attire. This could include a linen shirt, lightweight jacket, bow tie, suspenders, and shorts. If the wedding is outdoors, the ring bearer can forego the jacket and opt for dress pants with suspenders and a bow tie, or a vest with a coordinating hat. For a summer wedding, a light-coloured suit or even just a dress shirt, jacket, and necktie can be a great option.

Creative Alternatives

If you want the ring bearer to stand out, you can choose a completely different outfit that still complements the overall style of the wedding. For a rustic wedding, consider a vintage-inspired look with antique or vintage attire. For a country wedding, cowboy boots and bolo ties can be a fun choice. If you're having a Christmas-themed wedding, the ring bearer can wear a boutonnière of silver holly. For a beach wedding, consider seersucker suspenders and a bow tie with anchors.

Comfort and Practicality

It's important to ensure that the ring bearer is comfortable in their outfit. If the child is too small for a full suit or tuxedo, you can opt for just pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders, and shoes. For toddlers, a tuxedo-style onesie or a tuxedo-style romper with a Peter Pan collared shirt can be adorable and practical choices.

Remember to involve the parents of the ring bearer in the decision-making process and give them a range of options at different price points, as they will typically pay for the outfit.

Should the ring bearer carry the real rings?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, who walk down the aisle carrying the wedding rings on a pillow. However, it is up to the couple to decide whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or not.

While some people believe that the ring bearer should carry the real rings, others suggest that it is safer to give them fake rings, so that the couple doesn't have to worry about losing them. If the ring bearer is very young, it is probably best to give them an empty pillow or decorative sign, or tie plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow. If the couple does decide to give the ring bearer the real rings, they should ask their wedding planner or a member of the wedding party to hand the rings to the ring bearer right before the ceremony starts, to reduce the risk of them being lost.

Some couples choose to give the rings to the best man or wedding officiant to hold, rather than the ring bearer. Others opt for creative alternatives, such as attaching the rings to a flower girl's basket, placing them in a briefcase, or carrying them in a box.

Choosing the right child

Age

The age of the ring bearer is an important factor. Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of 2 and 8 years old. This ensures the child is mature enough to handle the responsibility. If you choose a child younger than 2 or 3 years old, consider having their parents escort them down the aisle. For children older than 8, you may want to consider a junior groomsman or bridesmaid role, which includes more responsibilities and involvement in pre-wedding events. Ultimately, the most important consideration is whether the child will enjoy the role.

Relationship to the Couple

The ring bearer is typically a young family member or the child of a close friend, such as the maid of honour or best man. It is also common for couples to choose their own children, if they have any, as a way to include them in the wedding.

Gender

While the role is traditionally referred to as the "ring bearer" or "ring boy", it is becoming increasingly common to have a girl or non-binary child take on the role. There are no rules when it comes to gender, so feel free to choose the child that is right for the role, regardless of their gender.

Responsibilities

It is important to understand the responsibilities of a ring bearer before choosing a child. The ring bearer is responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. They may also be expected to attend pre-wedding events and rehearsals. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for explaining the duties to the child, as well as paying for their outfit and accessories.

Comfort and Personality

Consider the child's comfort level with being in the spotlight and their overall personality. Some children may be nervous or uncomfortable with the attention, while others may thrive in the role. It is also important to check with the child's parents to see if there are any potential issues or quirks that may arise.

Number of Ring Bearers

You may also decide to have more than one ring bearer. This can be a fun way to include multiple children in your wedding. Just be mindful of the length of your wedding processional, as having too many ring bearers can make it longer than the ceremony itself.

Including the ring bearer's parents

Including young children in your wedding party is a fun tradition and a great way to involve family members. If you're thinking of having a girl as your ring bearer, there's no reason why you shouldn't! Gender norms are becoming a thing of the past, and you can absolutely buck the trend of having a 'ring boy'. In fact, some sources suggest that the tradition of having a ring bearer originated in the Medieval era when wealthy families would use a young child to show off their wealth.

If you're thinking of including a girl as your ring bearer, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to speak to the child's parents to ensure they are happy for their child to take on the responsibility and to attend all the pre-wedding festivities. It's also traditional for the ring bearer's parents to pay for their child's outfit and accessories, so be mindful of this when choosing the attire. It's a nice gesture to give the ring bearer a gift, such as a stuffed animal or a bubble kit, to thank them for their role in your special day.

When it comes to the child's duties, the ring bearer usually carries the wedding rings down the aisle on a pillow, but this isn't required. You might want to consider the child's age and maturity level and decide whether to give them the real rings or decorative plastic ones. Most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings as a precaution. If the ring bearer is too young to walk, their parents can carry them during the processional, or you could have the flower girls escort them.

So, if you want to include a girl as your ring bearer, go for it! It's a great way to involve a special young girl in your life and will make for adorable photo ops. Just remember to communicate with her parents and ensure they are happy to take on the responsibility.

Frequently asked questions