Bridesmaids: Traditional Wedding Numbers Explained

There is no set number of bridesmaids that should be included in a traditional wedding. The number of bridesmaids is a personal choice and can range from none to several dozen. However, the average number of bridesmaids is between three and six. When deciding on the number of bridesmaids, there are a few factors to consider, such as the size of the wedding, the budget, and the dynamics of the social group. Ultimately, the decision on how many bridesmaids to include in a traditional wedding is up to the bride and her preferences.

The average number of bridesmaids

The number of bridesmaids at a wedding is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong number. However, the average number of bridesmaids is between three and six.

The number of bridesmaids can depend on several factors, such as the size of the wedding, the venue, and the couple's budget. For example, a larger wedding with more guests may accommodate a higher number of bridesmaids, whereas a small, intimate wedding may only have room for a few. The formality of the wedding can also play a role, with more formal weddings typically having more bridesmaids than casual weddings.

It's important to consider the dynamics of your social group when deciding on the number of bridesmaids. You may want to include all your close friends or family members, or you may prefer to have a smaller group. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

The role of the maid of honour

The maid of honour is the head bridesmaid, responsible for leading all of the bridal party-related tasks and being the bride's go-to friend before, during, and after the wedding. She should be a source of support for the bride, communicate with the bridesmaids, and ensure all important tasks are completed. She should also be a worker bee, an emotional lifeboat, and a ball of energy.

Before the wedding, the maid of honour's responsibilities include:

• Leading the bridesmaids and introducing them to each other, especially if they are from different parts of the bride's life. She should also spearhead communication and set up a group text or another easy form of communication.
• Compiling a bridal party budget and dealing with any conflicts that may arise between bridesmaids.
• Attending wedding dress shopping appointments and providing an honest and respectful opinion.
• Acting as a point of contact for other bridesmaids, the bride's family members, and guests who may have questions about the wedding.
• Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, keeping in mind the budgets of the bridal party.
• Keeping track of gifts received at the bridal shower so that the bride can easily create thank-you notes.
• Preparing a wedding survival kit for the bridal party.
• Lending a hand with any DIY projects, such as addressing wedding invitations or making centrepieces or favours.
• Preparing a speech to be given at the wedding reception.
• Helping with the reception playlist.
• Offering to help the bride with any last-minute tasks, such as packing for the honeymoon.

On the wedding day, the maid of honour's responsibilities include:

• Creating an emergency kit with items like safety pins and fashion tape.
• Enforcing the timeline of the wedding events and communicating important times to the bridal party.
• Helping the bride get ready and coordinating any pre-wedding festivities, including ordering food and drinks and decorating the wedding space.
• Fielding any last-minute vendor questions and acting as the main point of contact for wedding vendors.
• Signing the marriage license as a witness.
• Holding the bridal bouquet during the ceremony.
• Making sure the bride eats and drinks throughout the day.
• Assisting the mother of the bride with her hair and makeup, and shuttling her water, snacks, and drinks.
• Pitching in with social media by taking behind-the-scenes photos and videos, if the bride desires this.
• Keeping the couple separated before the ceremony if they are following the tradition of not seeing each other beforehand.
• Helping the bride get dressed and ensuring that everything she needs, from undergarments to shoes to jewellery, is laid out in advance.
• Providing assistance to the bride in the restroom, which may involve some tricky manoeuvres due to the bride's gown.
• Serving as the bride's personal stylist by jumping in to help with any last-minute details, such as steaming out wrinkles or placing the veil.
• Keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time for the vows to be exchanged.
• Taking care of the bouquet after the bride walks down the aisle and giving it back to her when it is time to walk up the aisle.
• Keeping the bride hydrated throughout the day and reminding her to take sips of water or sparkling water.

After the wedding, the maid of honour's responsibilities include:

• Attending the couple's farewell party.
• Making sure wedding cards and gifts are delivered to the couple.
• Taking care of any remaining bridal party administrative tasks, such as coordinating outstanding expenses to be divided among the group.

The maid of honour also has financial responsibilities, including covering the cost of the bridal shower, her own travel and accommodation, her wedding attire, and a wedding gift for the couple.

In summary, the role of the maid of honour is to provide support, leadership, and assistance to the bride before, during, and after the wedding. She is the bride's go-to person and right-hand friend throughout the entire wedding journey.

How to decide who to leave out

Deciding who to leave out of your bridal party is no easy task. Here are some tips to help you decide:

Take your time

Before asking anyone to be your bridesmaid, take some time to consider your choices carefully. Remember, once you've asked someone to be your bridesmaid, it can be tricky to go back on your offer.

Evaluate your relationships

Consider the depth of your relationship with each person on your list. Ideally, the people you choose should be those you can talk to and confide in, even after the wedding. If you have a best friend who lives out of state, for example, it may not be realistic to expect them to be heavily involved in the wedding planning.

Be mindful of costs

Bridesmaids often have to cover certain costs, such as their dress, hair, and makeup. Be sensitive to these expenses and choose an option that everyone can afford comfortably.

Manage expectations

Be honest and clear about what you expect from your bridesmaids, including the financial and time commitment involved. This will help to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment later on.

Choose those you can depend on

Look for people who are dependable, supportive, and committed to helping you throughout the wedding planning process. Pick individuals who will be there for you on your big day and beyond.

Don't feel obligated

Remember, this is your wedding, and you get to decide who stands by your side. You don't owe anyone that position, and you shouldn't feel guilty about leaving someone out. Choose those you truly want to be a part of your special day.

The advantages and disadvantages of having bridesmaids

While there is no set number of bridesmaids that should be included in a traditional wedding, the average number of bridesmaids is four. The number of bridesmaids included in a wedding party is ultimately up to the couple, and there are several advantages and disadvantages to having bridesmaids.

Advantages of having bridesmaids:

• Support system: Bridesmaids can provide emotional support leading up to and on the day of the wedding.
• Planning help: Bridesmaids can help with the logistics of wedding planning and take care of smaller day-of duties.
• Tradition: In many religions and cultures, bridesmaids symbolize support as the couple transitions into married life.

Disadvantages of having bridesmaids:

• Cost: The bride may be expected to cover certain bridal party costs, such as bridesmaid gifts, hair and makeup, and bouquets.
• Time commitment: Being a bridesmaid is a significant time commitment, and coordinating schedules for fittings, bachelorette trips, and other pre-wedding events can be challenging.
• Drama: Having multiple bridesmaids with different opinions and personalities can lead to conflict and indecisiveness.
• Attire issues: Deciding what the bridesmaids will wear can be challenging, especially if you want everyone to match or adhere to a specific color scheme.
• Bridesmaid proposals: Asking someone to be a bridesmaid often comes with the expectation of a bridesmaid proposal, which can be costly and time-consuming.
• Friendship tensions: Choosing which friends to include in the bridal party can create tension and hurt feelings.

Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer. It is essential to consider the advantages and disadvantages and decide what feels right for the couple.

The history of the wedding party tradition

The wedding party is a long-standing tradition that has evolved over time, with the first known instances of bridal parties occurring in Biblical times and Ancient Rome.

Biblical Times

The wedding of Jacob to Leah and Rachel, as described in the Bible, featured "literally the brides' maids". These women were servants or domestic workers who catered to the bride's every need, as opposed to friends or relatives.

Ancient Rome

Ancient Roman law required weddings to have a minimum of 10 witnesses present, which is thought to be the origin of the bridal party tradition. Bridesmaids were also believed to help ward off evil spirits or others who wanted to harm the bride, as they wore similar outfits to the bride to confuse evildoers.

Victorian Era

Queen Victoria and her attendants all wore white at her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840, which is believed to have influenced the tradition of bridesmaids wearing similar dresses to the bride.

Modern Times

Today, the tradition of having a wedding party is more flexible and depends on the couple's preferences and the size of the wedding. The bridal party is typically made up of the bride's closest friends and family, with the maid of honor or matron of honor being the bride's closest friend or relative. The average number of bridesmaids is usually between three to five, but this can vary depending on the couple's wishes and the size of the wedding.

The role of the bridesmaids has also evolved, and they are now primarily responsible for supporting the bride throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself. Their duties can include helping with dress shopping, planning the engagement party, assisting with DIY projects, and ensuring everything runs smoothly on the wedding day.

In conclusion, the history of the wedding party tradition has evolved from its origins in Biblical times and Ancient Rome, where bridesmaids served and protected the bride, to modern times where they play a supportive and honorary role in the wedding celebration.

Frequently asked questions