Asking Bridesmaids: Too Early Or Perfect Timing?

Asking bridesmaids to be part of your wedding is an exciting part of the planning process, but when is the right time to do it? Many brides-to-be wonder if two years is too early to ask their chosen bridesmaids. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, most people agree that it is generally too early to ask bridesmaids two years in advance. This is because a lot can change in two years, and you may find yourself wanting to include someone else or downgrade to a smaller wedding. It is also a lot to ask of your potential bridesmaids, who may not want to commit to an event that is so far in the future. A good rule of thumb is to ask your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding one year to eight months before the date. This gives them enough time to plan and budget, without being too far in advance. If you are having a destination wedding, it is especially important to give your bridesmaids enough notice so that they can plan their travel accordingly. Ultimately, it is up to the bride to decide when to ask her bridesmaids, but waiting until a little closer to the date is usually the best course of action.

It's not too early if they're family

It's not too early to ask your bridesmaids if they're family. In fact, it can be a great idea to involve them in the wedding planning process from the start, especially if they're your sister or cousin. This way, you can ensure that the dates and locations work for their schedules and budgets, and they can be a part of all the fun and excitement of planning your special day.

However, it's important to remember that even with family members, relationships can change, and life circumstances can arise that may impact their ability to commit to being a part of your wedding. It's a good idea to choose your bridesmaids based on solid, long-standing relationships where you're confident that you won't regret your choice later on. If you're certain about your family members being your bridesmaids, there's no need to wait! Go ahead and ask them, but do keep in mind that it's a big commitment for them, and they may need time to plan and allocate resources accordingly.

Additionally, it's recommended to have at least a date and venue confirmed before asking anyone to be a part of your bridal party. This way, you know exactly what you're asking of them, and they can more easily determine their ability to commit. Asking your family members to be bridesmaids can be a wonderful way to involve them in your wedding journey and create lasting memories together.

When it comes to the groom's side, it's generally advised to wait a bit longer before asking friends to be groomsmen. Friendships can change over time, and it's better to wait and see who remains close to the groom as the wedding date approaches. However, if the groom's brother is going to be a groomsman, there's no need to delay asking him, as family dynamics are less likely to change.

In conclusion, while it's not too early to ask family members to be bridesmaids, it's important to consider the strength of your relationships and the potential for life changes. Enjoy this exciting time and cherish the memories you create with your loved ones as you plan your dream wedding!

You might have a falling out

Asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding too early can lead to a falling out for several reasons. Firstly, relationships can change over time. You might have a falling out with a friend and never speak to them again, or you might become much closer with someone else and wish you could include them instead. Asking your bridesmaids too early can make it awkward if you want to make changes to your bridal party later on. It's also a lot to ask of your friends to commit to being part of your wedding so far in advance. They may not want to or be able to make that commitment, especially if your wedding is a destination wedding or will involve significant costs for them.

Additionally, if you ask your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding too early, you risk them feeling like they have a vote in all your wedding-related decisions. This can cause stress and complications during the planning process. It's also important to have at least some details of your wedding nailed down before asking your bridesmaids so that they know what they are committing to. Asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding two years in advance can be too long for them to hear about all your plans and may lead to confusion or hurt feelings if they feel left out.

Finally, life changes can happen before your wedding that may impact your bridesmaids' ability to participate. For example, they may need to drop out due to pregnancy, illness, financial difficulties, or other unforeseen circumstances. Therefore, it's generally best to wait until closer to your wedding date to ask your bridesmaids. This will give you a better sense of who is truly important to you and who you want by your side on your big day.

They might not want to commit so early

It's important to consider that your bridesmaids might not want to commit to being in your wedding so early. While it's exciting to get engaged and start planning your wedding, it's best to give your potential bridesmaids time to consider their involvement. Here are some reasons why they might not want to commit two years in advance:

• Life Changes: A lot can happen in two years. Your potential bridesmaids may have life changes such as exams, pregnancy, financial obligations, or other personal circumstances that could impact their ability to commit to your wedding. By giving them more time, you allow them to assess their situation and make an informed decision.
• Relationship Dynamics: Relationships can evolve or change over time. While you may have a close relationship with your potential bridesmaids now, dynamics may shift, and you might grow closer to other people. Waiting to ask your bridesmaids allows you to be sure about your choices and avoids any potential hurt feelings or confusion if you need to make changes later.
• Financial Commitments: Being a bridesmaid can be financially demanding, and your potential bridesmaids will need time to plan and save. They will be expected to pay for certain expenses, such as their attire, travel costs, and other wedding-related events. Asking them to commit two years in advance may put unnecessary pressure on their finances, especially if there are multiple weddings or other events they need to budget for during that time.
• Time Constraints: Being a bridesmaid is a time-consuming commitment. Your potential bridesmaids may have busy schedules, and asking them to commit two years in advance may not allow them to properly assess their availability. They will need to attend various events leading up to the wedding, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinners. By giving them more time to plan, you ensure that they can make the necessary arrangements to be a part of these special moments with you.
• Lack of Details: Asking your bridesmaids to commit two years in advance may be challenging because you might not have all the wedding details finalized yet. They will likely want to know the date, location, and other important information before they can give you an answer. It's important to have a clear idea of what you are asking of them so that they can make an informed decision about their participation.

Remember, it's essential to give your potential bridesmaids the time and space to consider their commitment. While it may be tempting to involve them in your wedding plans early on, respect their time and allow them to make a decision that works best for their lives.

You might become closer to someone else

It's important to remember that relationships can evolve and change over time, and this could definitely influence your choice of bridesmaids. While you might have a clear idea of who you want in your bridal party now, it's possible that two years is a long time to plan ahead. You might find that you become closer to someone else during this period, and this could impact your decision.

Perhaps you'll meet someone new who becomes a close friend and an important part of your life. This person could be a colleague, a neighbour, or even someone you meet through a hobby or interest. As you get to know them, you might find that you connect on a deeper level and they become a close confidante. It's possible that this person could become a strong candidate for your bridal party, and you might want to include them as a bridesmaid.

On the other hand, you might also find that your current relationships evolve and change. You might become closer to an acquaintance or a friend-of-a-friend, and discover that you share interests and values that bring you together. As your bond strengthens, you might realise that this person is someone you want by your side on your wedding day. Alternatively, you might grow apart from some of your current friends. While it might be difficult to imagine now, people's lives can take unexpected turns, and you might find that you don't remain as close to some of your current friends as you'd thought.

By giving yourself a two-year window, you're allowing for these potential shifts in your relationships. This means that you can take your time and make considered choices about your bridal party, ensuring that you include the people who are closest to you and who will provide love and support on your special day. It's a wise decision to avoid rushing these decisions, as it ensures that your bridesmaids are truly the people who will make your wedding day even more meaningful and memorable.

You might want to downgrade the number of bridesmaids

It's generally advised to wait until 1 year to 8 months before the wedding date to ask your bridesmaids. This gives bridesmaids enough time to plan ahead, including financially, and to commit to the wedding and other events. Asking too early can lead to issues if relationships change or other life circumstances arise.

While you might be eager to ask your bridesmaids, especially if they are family members or very close friends, it's important to consider the potential drawbacks of asking too early. One of the main concerns is that relationships can change over time. You may grow apart from certain friends or become closer to others, and this could lead to hurt feelings or awkward situations if you've already chosen your bridesmaids. Life circumstances can also change, such as pregnancies, financial situations, or other commitments, which may affect their ability to participate.

Therefore, you might want to downgrade the number of bridesmaids you ask initially. By waiting until closer to the wedding, you can assess your relationships and choose your bridesmaids based on your current connections and their availability and willingness to commit. This way, you can avoid potential issues and ensure that those you choose are still the right fit for your wedding party.

Additionally, by waiting, you can provide your bridesmaids with more concrete details about the wedding, such as the date, location, and any expectations or responsibilities. This allows them to make informed decisions about their participation and plan accordingly, especially if they need to arrange travel or accommodate other costs.

In summary, while it's exciting to ask your bridesmaids, waiting until closer to the wedding date is generally advisable. By downgrading the number of bridesmaids initially, you can avoid potential issues and give yourself the flexibility to choose your wedding party based on your current relationships and circumstances. This will ensure a smoother process and allow your chosen bridesmaids to confidently commit to your special day.

Frequently asked questions