Bridesmaids At An Elopement: Is It Possible?

Eloping is a great way to tie the knot without the stress and chaos of planning a huge wedding. It can be a simple and easy way to get married without the high costs associated with a traditional wedding, such as feeding many guests and hiring a venue. While eloping was once considered running away to get married in secret, it now refers to a small, private wedding with few or no guests. Some couples choose to elope in a different location, such as a tropical holiday, and have their honeymoon straight after. Others may choose to include their immediate families and best friends. While there is no bridal party at an elopement, some couples still choose to have a bridal shower or bachelorette party planned by a bridesmaid or the maid of honour. Ultimately, eloping is a personal choice and couples should do what feels right for them.

Can you have a bridal shower if you elope?

Eloping no longer means stealing away into the night to get married in secret. Nowadays, it can simply mean having a very small wedding that includes only the couple's closest friends and family. So, when it comes to bridal showers and elopements, people are bending the old rules.

The consensus is that it's perfectly fine to have a bridal shower whether your elopement is a secret or not. However, it should be hosted by the bridesmaids, a family member, or any other willing person—just not the bride. This is to avoid making it seem like the event is being held just for the gifts.

If you're planning to have a reception after the elopement, it is considered good manners to invite everyone who was invited to the bridal shower. On the other hand, you can invite people to the reception and not the shower. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of gifts, you could opt for a tea or luncheon instead.

If you're having a bridal shower, it's a good idea to let someone else throw the event. This could be your maid of honor, a bridesmaid, or a family member. You can help them out if they ask, but it's not a good idea to throw one yourself.

If you're eloping and not having a bridal party, you can still buck tradition and plan the event yourself as a group. It's a good idea to have a conversation with female family members or a best friend and ask for their feedback. You could also tell them that you want to have a bridal shower.

In conclusion, you can absolutely have a bridal shower if you're eloping. Just remember to follow the general etiquette of who should host the event and who should be invited.

What about a bachelorette party?

If you're eloping, you might be wondering if you can still have a bachelorette party. The answer is yes! Just because you're choosing to elope doesn't mean you can't enjoy pre-wedding celebrations. A bachelorette party is a great way to include your loved ones in your special day, even if they won't be physically present for the ceremony.

Traditionally, the bachelorette party is planned by the bridesmaids or the Maid of Honor. However, in the case of elopements, there might not be a bridal party. This isn't a problem at all! You can plan the party yourself or ask a female family member or a close friend for help. It's a good idea to have a conversation with your loved ones and let them know that you want to have a bachelorette party. They might be unsure about the protocol, especially if there is no official bridal party.

When it comes to planning, it's important to set clear expectations. Discuss responsibilities, budgets, and any other relevant details to ensure everyone is on the same page. This will help avoid misunderstandings and make the planning process smoother.

Bachelorette parties can vary in cost depending on the activities and location. It's a good idea to chat with your guests individually to understand their budgets and offer options that suit everyone's financial situation. Typically, attendees cover their own expenses, and the Maid of Honor may pay for favours. As the bride, it's best to plan to pay your own way, and if your guests offer to chip in, it's an added bonus!

There are no rules when it comes to the activities for the bachelorette party. It's all about celebrating the bride's interests while also considering everyone's budgets. Whether it's a night out on the town, a cocktail class, or a relaxing spa day, the most important thing is to enjoy the moment and create lasting memories.

Should you invite guests to your elopement?

Eloping is a more private and intimate affair, with just the couple, the officiant, and two witnesses present. However, the decision to invite guests to an elopement is a personal choice and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Here are some factors to consider when deciding whether to invite guests to your elopement:

Advantages of Inviting Guests:

• Sharing the Joy: Your wedding is a special occasion, and you may want to share the joy and celebration with your loved ones. Inviting guests allows them to witness your union and be a part of your happiness.
• Family Involvement: Weddings are often seen as a family affair, and by inviting immediate family members, you can include them in your special day. This can be especially meaningful for parents or siblings who may have been looking forward to participating in your wedding.
• Avoiding Hurt Feelings: Not inviting guests to your elopement may lead to hurt feelings among family and close friends. By inviting a small number of guests, you can strike a balance between privacy and inclusion, reducing the risk of upsetting those closest to you.

Advantages of Not Inviting Guests:

• Reduced Stress: One of the main advantages of eloping is the avoidance of planning stress. Inviting guests can add complexity, as you may need to consider their travel arrangements, accommodation, and other logistics. Keeping the event intimate allows you to focus on your partner and have a simpler, more relaxed experience.
• Cost Savings: Inviting guests often increases the cost of the wedding significantly. With an elopement, you eliminate the need to cater to a large group, hire a bigger venue, or worry about decorations and entertainment for guests. This can result in substantial cost savings, which can be used for other priorities like a honeymoon or a new home.
• Quality Time with Partner: Weddings can be hectic, and the couple often has less time to connect with each other. By not inviting guests, you create a more private and intimate atmosphere, allowing you to focus solely on each other and spend quality time together on your special day.
• Drama-Free Experience: Weddings with guests can sometimes lead to family drama, drunk guests, or other unexpected issues. By not inviting guests, you reduce the chances of such incidents and create a peaceful and stress-free environment for your nuptials.

Ultimately, the decision to invite guests to your elopement depends on your personal preferences, budget, and the dynamics of your relationship with family and friends. You can also consider having a small reception or celebration after your elopement to include your loved ones in the joy of your marriage.

What are the pros and cons of eloping?

Eloping is a more private way to wed without the usual pomp and circumstance that comes with a traditional wedding. While the classic definition of eloping meant running away to get married in secret, nowadays it simply means a more intimate, small-scale, casual wedding with few or no guests.

The Pros of Eloping

• You'll avoid stress and decision burnout: Wedding planning can be stressful, and eloping can benefit the health of your relationship by preventing unnecessary disagreements about the many details of a traditional wedding.
• You'll save money: Traditional weddings can be extremely expensive, whereas eloping is a more affordable option, especially if you're flexible with your timeline and choose a less popular date.
• You'll get to skip family politics: Eloping allows you to bypass discussions about family traditions and rituals that may not align with your personal preferences.
• You'll stay focused on your partner: A traditional wedding can be overwhelming and make it difficult to stay present with your partner. Eloping allows you to celebrate each other without the distractions of guests and performances.
• You can have your ceremony anywhere: With a destination elopement, you can choose any location that is meaningful to you, without worrying about whether loved ones can attend or afford to travel.
• You get to define what eloping means for you: Whether it's a small getaway with your closest loved ones or a simple family-only ceremony, you can make your elopement into whatever you want it to be.
• It makes it less of a big deal: The stress of wedding planning can sometimes dampen the excitement of getting married. Eloping can reduce this pressure and allow you to focus on celebrating your love and commitment.

The Cons of Eloping

• Your parents may not love it: While viewpoints on eloping are evolving, some parents may still wish to witness this important milestone and celebrate it with their children. Be prepared for potential backlash and try to have candid conversations about your wishes beforehand.
• Your friends might have questions: Your close friends and siblings may feel hurt that they weren't included in the celebration and could pull away from you. It's important to give your loved ones a heads-up before you elope to prevent miscommunication and heartache.
• You'll miss out on tradition: Traditional weddings have certain elements that may be important to you, such as walking down the aisle, having a first dance, tossing the bouquet, etc. You may feel sad later on that you skipped these traditions, so be honest with yourself and your partner before choosing to elope.
• You may lose out on gifts and keepsakes: Traditional weddings often come with a variety of gifts and keepsakes, such as an expensive gown or dried flowers. These opportunities might be fewer if you choose to elope.
• You'll get fewer gifts: While gifts aren't the most important aspect, not receiving gifts from guests may be a slight disappointment.
• It can cause drama: Weddings are important family milestones, and your decision to elope may upset some family members. Be prepared to deal with potential backlash and try to make separate plans with them, such as a family photoshoot or a special dinner celebration.
• You will wish some people were there: Traditional weddings can be fun for catching up with family and friends. You may feel a tinge of regret that you missed out on these moments, even if eloping is the right decision for you.

While eloping typically doesn't include a bridal party, there are no hard-and-fast rules. You can include bridesmaids in your elopement and even have a bachelorette party planned by them. However, you may need to be flexible and plan it yourself or with a group of friends.

Can you have a reception after you elope?

Eloping is a wonderful way to have an intimate and romantic wedding ceremony. But what if you want to celebrate with more people afterward? The good news is that you absolutely can have a reception after you elope! Here are some things to consider if you're planning a post-elopement reception:

Timing

There is no rule about when to hold your reception. You can choose to have it on the same day as your elopement or wait a few months. Waiting can give you more time to plan and send out invitations, but having it on the same day can be more convenient for guests who are travelling. Ultimately, it's up to you and your partner to decide what works best.

Guest List

When it comes to the guest list, eloping doesn't mean you can't invite whoever you want to your reception. You might want to keep it small and intimate, with just close family and friends, or you might prefer a bigger celebration with up to 50 people or more. It's your party, so invite whoever you want to share your joy with!

Budget

The size of your guest list will impact your budget. A larger guest list will likely require a formal venue, catering, and other expenses. Even with a smaller group, you can still splurge on an extravagant celebration if you wish. Consider your budget and what is most important to you and your partner when planning.

Location

Choose a location that fits the vibe you want for your reception. If you want a dance party, pick a place with space for a band or a DJ. For something more intimate and casual, your home or a rented space may be more suitable.

Activities and Food

When planning your reception, consider what activities and food you want to include. Do you want a BBQ with lawn games? A formal seated dinner? A buffet or food trucks? There are no rules, so get creative and choose what will make your reception memorable and fun.

Invitations and Gifts

When sending out invitations, make it clear that this is a celebration of your marriage, not the wedding ceremony itself. This will help set the right expectations for your guests. Also, since you're already married and likely already living together, you may not need or want gifts. It's perfectly acceptable to have a reception without a registry, but if you do create one, be mindful of how it might be perceived.

Attire

There are no rules when it comes to what to wear to your post-elopement reception. You can dress up in your wedding attire again, go for something more casual, or even wear a non-traditional wedding dress. It's up to you! Just make sure your guests know what to expect so they can dress appropriately.

Remember, your post-elopement reception is about celebrating your marriage with your loved ones. So, make it your own and don't feel pressured to follow traditional wedding reception expectations.

Frequently asked questions