The Entourage: How Many Best Men Is Too Many?

Choosing the best man at a wedding is a big decision. Traditionally, there is only one best man, but nowadays, there are no rules. It is becoming more common to have more than one best man, and this can be a wonderful way to honour close relationships with family and friends. Having multiple best men can also be a solution for grooms who are struggling to choose between several important people in their lives. However, having more than two or three best men may be logistically challenging and could cause confusion for guests and vendors. Ultimately, it is the groom's decision, and there are ways to include multiple people in the wedding party without giving them the title of best man.

Having multiple best men

Traditionally, there is only one best man at a wedding. However, it is becoming more common for grooms to have multiple best men. This can be a great way to honour your closest friends and family and avoid hurt feelings from those who were not chosen.

Pros of Having Multiple Best Men

The biggest advantage of having multiple best men is that you don't have to choose between important people in your life. This can reduce stress and the possibility of unintentionally hurting someone's feelings.

Another benefit is that you will have more support with the best man duties, which can be numerous and time-consuming. Having multiple best men can also provide a mix of personalities and help relieve any tension or awkwardness between wedding party members.

Additionally, there can be aesthetic benefits to having multiple best men. For example, you can give each best man a unique look that reflects their personality. If there is only one maid of honour, she will also feel special being walked down the aisle with a man on each arm!

Cons of Having Multiple Best Men

One potential downside of having multiple best men is that it may create unnecessary tension. Some people may be upset that they have to share the position with someone else, especially if they are more traditional and view this as a sign that you couldn't make a decision.

Logistics of Having Multiple Best Men

To make the experience smooth for everyone involved, clear and constant communication is key. Create a group chat with all the best men to facilitate planning and decision-making as a team.

Decide how you want to divide the duties among the best men. For example, you could have one best man in charge of pre-wedding activities like the bachelor party and fittings, while the other focuses on wedding day duties such as guest questions and coordinating photos.

For the best man speech, a joint speech by all the best men can be a fun way to involve everyone. If they prefer to give separate speeches, they should work on them together to avoid repetition.

When it comes to the altar, the decision of who stands where is ultimately up to you. A simple solution is to have them line up based on height.

Best man duties

While traditionally, there is only one best man at a wedding, nowadays, there are no rules. It is perfectly fine to have two or more best men, or none at all. The number of best men depends on the groom's personal relationships and how his loved ones will handle the responsibilities.

Before the Wedding

• Organise the stag do/bachelor party.
• Keep an eye on the groom and how he is coping with the stress of wedding planning.
• Help choose suits for the bridal party.
• Offer your services to the bride and groom for any wedding planning duties, such as contacting suppliers or finding wedding transport.
• Write and deliver a great best man's speech.
• Do your homework on the guests and be prepared to mingle and introduce yourself.
• Help set up the wedding, including moving furniture and carrying chairs and tables.
• Be the point person for the ushers and keep them organised.
• Stay organised and be prepared for any eventuality.
• Look after the groom the night before the wedding and make sure he doesn't drink too much.

On the Wedding Day

• Help the groom get ready on the morning of the wedding.
• Keep the rings safe and organise any ring bearers.
• Get the party started by being the first one on the dance floor.
• Help organise the wedding photographs.
• Be the master of ceremonies and announce key elements like the couple's arrival and the cutting of the cake.
• Deliver your speech.
• Dance with the maid of honour.
• Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
• Escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony.
• Stand beside the groom at the altar.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness.
• Act as an unofficial reception host and ensure the newlyweds and guests are having a good time.
• Help collect gifts and make sure they are in a safe place.

After the Wedding

• Return and clean suits, or take them to be dry-cleaned.
• Take care of wedding gifts and ensure they are delivered to the couple.
• Decorate the newlyweds' car.

Best man speech

While there is no set number of best men that a groom must have, it is traditional for grooms to choose one man to be their best man. However, it is becoming more common for grooms to have two best men, and some grooms even have up to seven "best men" who are referred to as groomsmen.

If you are a best man, you will likely be tasked with giving a speech at the wedding. Here are some tips and tricks to help you craft and deliver a memorable best man speech:

Preparation

Before you begin writing your speech, it is important to brainstorm and gather your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Writing freely without stopping to edit will help you remember specific details and anecdotes. Using a template can also be helpful to give you an idea of what to include in your speech.

Opening and Closing

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression on the audience. Start with a compelling opening that grabs their attention and sets the tone. End with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Personal Touches

Share stories, funny anecdotes, and heartwarming experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Talk about what the groom means to you and the reasons why you were chosen to be the best man. You can also mention the impact the bride has had on the groom, such as how she has helped him grow or change for the better.

Delivery

Practice your speech as much as possible to build confidence. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to refine your delivery. Calming techniques such as deep breathing and visualization can help reduce nerves before your speech. Remember to connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using hand gestures. Keep your speech concise, with a recommended length of 4-7 minutes.

Toasting the Couple

Remember to address the couple directly and wish them a happy future together. This is typically done towards the end of the speech, followed by a toast where you ask everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds.

Choosing the best man

If you're having trouble deciding who to choose as your best man, consider the people closest to you and how they will fit into your life in the future. Ask yourself: Who are my two best friends, and do I want to have them both as my best men? Having two best men can be a wonderful gesture and can help alleviate the pressure of the role. It can also provide more support with the best man duties and offer a mix of personalities to relieve any tension or awkwardness between wedding party members.

However, there are a few cons to consider when having two best men. It may create unnecessary tension, as some people may be upset about sharing the position. It could also cause conflict or confusion between the two best men themselves if one ends up doing all the work. To avoid this, clear and constant communication is key when dividing up the duties.

Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you should do what feels best for you. If you have multiple people that you want to include as best men, go for it! You can give them each a unique role and look that suits their personality, and they can even give a joint speech during the reception.

Wedding party size

If you are struggling to choose one person to be your best man, you can have multiple people take on the role. This can be a wonderful gesture and can help alleviate the pressure of the role itself. It can also be a great way to honour your close relationships with family and friends. Having multiple best men can also provide more support with the best man duties and can help relieve any tension between wedding party members.

However, there are some potential downsides to consider. Having multiple best men may create unnecessary tension, as some people may be upset about sharing the position with someone else. It could also cause conflict or confusion between the best men themselves, especially if one person ends up doing most of the work.

Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you should do what feels best for you and your partner. If you decide to have multiple best men, clear and constant communication is key to ensure everyone is on the same page and to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Frequently asked questions