The Perfect Length For A Best Man's Speech

Being the best man at a wedding is a big deal and a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties of the best man is to deliver a speech that hits the right notes and doesn't go on for too long. But how long is too long?

Well, it's definitely not an opportunity to showcase your stand-up comedy skills or to tell embarrassing stories about the groom. A best man's speech should be limited to around 1000 words or seven minutes. Any longer and you risk losing your audience, and taking time away from the other speakers and wedding activities.

However, you also don't want your speech to be too short. A minute or less might not give you enough time to say what you want to say and could come across as rushed or impersonal.

So, the ideal length for a best man's speech is somewhere between two and five minutes – just enough time to crack a few jokes, share some stories, and propose a toast to the happy couple.

Aim for 2-5 minutes

Remember, there are a lot of events that need to happen at a wedding, and time can be tight. You don't want to monopolize the reception with a long-winded speech, nor do you want to rush through something so important.

Practice your speech a few times before the big day to ensure it falls within this ideal timeframe. Keep in mind that your delivery may be slightly quicker on the day due to nerves, so it's better to aim for the higher end of this range during practice.

While the content of your speech is essential, nailing the length will help ensure your message lands well with the newlyweds and guests. A well-timed speech will leave a positive impression and ensure the day's festivities stay on track.

So, when crafting your best man speech, aim for 2-5 minutes to strike the perfect balance between substance and brevity.

Don't be tempted to improvise

It can be tempting to go off-script and add to your speech, especially if things are going well. However, an ill-considered ad lib can turn the crowd against you and it's hard to get their attention back once their minds start to wander.

You might think you can wing it, but it's likely you'll end up fumbling your words. Even if you don't stick to a script, make sure you have a plan for how you're ending. It's much better to have a clear structure and stick to it than to ramble and lose the attention of your audience.

If you're nervous about public speaking, it might be helpful to memorise certain key phrases and deliver them with confidence. That way, you can still look out at the crowd instead of at your notes. You could also try committing your opening and closing lines to memory, so you can start and finish on a strong note.

Practising your speech beforehand will also help you feel more comfortable with what you're going to say and how long it will take. Time yourself reading it out loud, and then plan for it to take around four or five times longer on the day. That way, you can make sure your speech is the perfect length—not too long, not too short, but just right.

Keep anecdotes concise

When preparing your best man speech, it's important to keep in mind that your anecdotes should be concise. While you may be tempted to share several stories and incidents from the groom's past, it's best to limit yourself to one or two extended anecdotes that are truly worth relating. Here's why keeping your anecdotes concise is crucial:

Maintain Audience Engagement

The attention span of your audience is limited, and you risk losing them if your speech goes on for too long. A good guideline is to keep your speech between two and five minutes. Within this timeframe, you can include a few concise anecdotes that will keep your speech engaging and entertaining.

Avoid Monopolizing the Reception

A wedding reception involves various events and activities, and your speech should not take up too much time. A lengthy speech can cut into important wedding activities such as cocktail hour or dancing. Remember, the guests are there to celebrate the newlyweds, not just to listen to your speech. By keeping your anecdotes concise, you allow for a balanced reception programme.

Focus on Quality Over Quantity

Rather than trying to cram in multiple stories, select one or two anecdotes that are truly memorable and meaningful. A well-chosen, concise anecdote can be more impactful than a lengthy story that loses its effect due to its length. Focus on quality over quantity to leave a lasting impression on your audience.

Allow Time for Other Speakers

It's important to be mindful of the other speakers at the wedding reception. If your speech goes on for too long, you may end up taking away time from them. A concise speech ensures that you respect the time allotted to you and allows other speakers to share their thoughts and well-wishes for the newlyweds.

Avoid Disappointing the Couple

A very short speech, such as one that is a minute or less, may not allow you to express all your sentiments adequately. It may come across as rushed or impersonal, potentially hurting the couple's feelings. By keeping your anecdotes concise, you strike a balance between brevity and sentiment, ensuring that your speech feels thoughtful and meaningful to the couple.

In conclusion, when crafting your best man speech, remember that less is often more. Select a few concise anecdotes that are entertaining, meaningful, and reflective of your relationship with the groom. This will help ensure your speech is well-received by both the couple and the guests, creating a memorable and enjoyable experience for all.

Don't mention the groom's exes

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, but it's important to get it right. While it's only about 10 minutes, the memories will last a lifetime. Here are some tips to make sure your speech is memorable for all the right reasons:

This should be obvious, but it's worth reiterating: don't bring up the groom's past relationships! It's fine to allude to "many past exploits" or other exaggerations, but never mention anything that could upset the bride. Remember, it's her special day, too. Save the stories about exes for the stag night.

Instead, focus on the groom's relationship with the bride. Talk about how he's upped his game, changed his wardrobe, and started showing an interest in things outside of pubs and football. Mention how happy they are together, and how the bride has helped the groom change his life for the better. Keep it positive and uplifting.

Keep it Short and Sweet

As a rule of thumb, your speech should be no longer than 7-10 minutes. Any longer, and you'll start to lose your audience. People don't want to sit through a long speech; they'd rather get back to the celebration. So, aim for a length that feels comfortable for you, but don't ramble on.

Other Tips

• Compliment the bride and bridesmaids. It's a must!
• Don't get too drunk before your speech. Have a couple of drinks to loosen up, but don't overdo it.
• Avoid inside jokes. One or two are fine, but too many will leave most of the audience feeling excluded.
• Keep it family-friendly. Avoid vulgarity and swearing.
• Don't read directly from cards or notes. Memorise key phrases and deliver them with confidence.
• Make it a story. Instead of dragging the audience through endless anecdotes, weave the good bits together into one neat burst of comedy.
• Rehearse! Practice will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech stays within a reasonable time limit.

Practice your delivery

Practising your best man's speech is crucial to ensure a smooth and confident delivery on the big day. Here are some tips to help you master your performance:

Know Your Timing

Understanding the timing of your speech is essential. As a rule of thumb, aim for your speech to last between two and five minutes. This duration strikes a balance between being too long and too short. Practise your speech beforehand to get a sense of its length, and remember that you may speak faster on the day due to nerves or excitement.

Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse

Familiarise yourself with your speech by rehearsing it multiple times. Practise in front of a mirror to observe your body language and eye contact. Record yourself or ask for feedback from friends or family to refine your delivery. The more you practise, the more comfortable and confident you'll feel.

Master Your Pace

Pay attention to your speaking pace during rehearsals. Nerves can cause some people to rush through their speech, while others may unintentionally prolong it by adding unnecessary details or pausing too often. A steady and clear pace ensures your message is conveyed effectively and maintains the interest of your audience.

Vary Your Tone and Volume

Practise delivering your speech with different tones and volumes to add interest and emphasis. Vary your pitch and volume at key points to highlight the importance or humour of a statement. This will help to engage your audience and make your speech more dynamic and memorable.

Use Appropriate Body Language

Body language is a powerful tool to enhance your delivery. Use hand gestures to emphasise your points, and maintain an upright posture to project confidence. Make eye contact with your audience to create a connection and ensure they feel included in your speech. Practise your body language during rehearsals to ensure it feels natural.

Prepare for Nerves

It's normal to feel nervous when delivering a best man's speech. During your rehearsals, focus on managing your nerves. Take slow, deep breaths before you begin, and remember to breathe normally throughout your speech. Ground yourself by focusing on your feet and maintaining a steady stance. Visualise yourself succeeding to boost your confidence.

Frequently asked questions