Wedding Wishes: How To Graciously Request Monetary Gifts

Asking for cash donations at weddings is becoming increasingly common, especially as many couples now live together before marriage and don't need traditional homeware gifts. However, it can be tricky to know how to ask for money without causing offence. The key is to communicate your wishes in a respectful, thoughtful way. Here are some ideas for what to write when asking for cash wedding donations:

- We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts.

- Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash gift to put towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

- We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund.

- Cash gifts are welcome but not expected, and will be put towards our honeymoon.

- We are over the moon to be travelling to [location] for our honeymoon. If you'd like to help make the experience even more amazing, we've listed some details on our cash registry.

How to ask for a cash wedding donation

Asking for cash as a wedding gift can be tricky, but there are ways to do it politely and respectfully. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive topic:

Be Subtle and Polite

While some couples prefer receiving traditional gifts, others may prefer cash to spend as they wish. It's essential to approach this topic delicately, as guests may want to choose their gifts freely. Some subtle ways to suggest cash gifts include adding a line on your wedding invitations about gifting preferences or having a "wishing well." You can also ask close friends or family members to spread the word, but this option gives you less control over the message.

Use Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is an ideal place to mention gift preferences. Create an FAQ page to address gifting and include a section about your preferences for cash donations or contributions to your honeymoon or new home fund. This approach allows you to provide context and explain how you plan to use the money. Here are some examples of what you could write:

> "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."

> "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture. So, if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at [details here]."

Set Up a Registry or Fund

Consider setting up a cash or honeymoon registry on a website. This approach is clear about your preference for cash gifts and provides a familiar process for guests. You can also set up a gift card registry, allowing guests to contribute to specific experiences or purchases.

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website

Include a link to your wedding website on your invitations. This way, guests can easily find your registry or gifting preferences.

Have a Card Wishing Well at the Reception

Some guests may prefer to bring gifts to the wedding. Provide a secure place for them to leave envelopes with cash gifts, such as a "wishing well" or monitored table.

Don't Ask for Money on Your Wedding Invitations

While it's okay to ask for monetary gifts, avoid doing so directly on your wedding invitations. This can come across as greedy and take away from the focus of your wedding celebration.

Be Thoughtful and Creative

If you feel awkward about asking for cash, share your personal story and how you plan to use the money. For example, explain that you're saving for your first home or dream honeymoon. This approach helps guests understand the impact of their contribution.

Remember, it's essential to respect your guests' choices and not make them feel valued only for their potential financial contribution. These suggestions will help you navigate the process respectfully while still conveying your preferences.

Honeymoon fund

Asking for money instead of gifts for your wedding can be tricky, but it's becoming more common for couples to request honeymoon funds to help pay for their trip. Here are some ideas for what to write to your guests when asking for cash donations for your honeymoon:

Be Honest and Authentic

It's important to be honest with your guests about why you are asking for money. Are you hoping to go on a dream trip to a particular destination? Do you already have enough physical items in your home? Are you more interested in experiences than material things? Sharing these details with your guests will help them understand your request and feel more connected to your plans.

Provide Specific Details

Instead of simply asking for money, consider breaking down your honeymoon fund into specific items or experiences that guests can contribute towards. For example, you could ask for donations towards your airfare, hotel stay, romantic meals, local tours or activities, spa treatments, or even a charitable donation at your destination. This makes the gifting experience more personal for your guests and helps them feel like they are contributing to something concrete.

Use Clear and Polite Wording

When asking for money, it's important to be polite and gracious. A simple and direct approach is usually best. You could say something like, "Your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could ask for. However, if you would like to give us something, we would be grateful for any contributions towards our honeymoon fund." It's also a good idea to include a link or address to your honeymoon registry website so that guests can easily find more information.

Avoid Asking for Money on Your Wedding Invitations

While it's important to be clear about your wishes, it's generally considered impolite to ask for money directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, include this information on your wedding website, shower invitations, or via word of mouth. You can also provide guests with a separate insert card that includes the link to your honeymoon registry website.

Be Creative

If you're feeling creative, you could try writing a poem or a funny message to request donations for your honeymoon fund. This can be a fun way to express your preferences and add a personal touch to your request.

Remember, the key is to be considerate of your guests' feelings and provide clear and honest information about your honeymoon plans and why you are requesting financial contributions.

House fund

"We're so touched by the generosity of our loved ones. In place of traditional gifts, we've opted for a house fund registry to help us pay for a future home. If you're able, we are so grateful for your contribution to this dream of ours."

"Celebrating our big day with you is the only gift we need. However, for those who are interested, we've set up a cash fund to help pay for a down payment on a home after the wedding, and we'd be grateful for any contributions, big or small."

"As most of you know, we've been slowly fixing up our dream home since we purchased it. Instead of traditional gifts, we've registered for cash funds to help pay for renovations and design upgrades to truly make this house a home. We are so grateful for your contribution to our newlywed nest."

"We feel very lucky to have everything we need to stock a house. As such, we've created a cash fund dedicated to helping us pay for that forever home we've always dreamed of owning. Anything you can do to help us make this a reality is greatly appreciated."

"We already have all the items we need for our future home. All we are missing is the home! For those of you who have asked, we are asking for a contribution to our future home instead of traditional wedding gifts."

Tips for Asking for Monetary Gifts

• It's important to give a reason why you are asking for money. Your loved ones will want to help and will be more inclined to give if they understand your goal.
• Be sure to word your request politely and clearly. It's perfectly acceptable to ask for cash instead of gifts, but the way you tell your wedding guests is important.
• It's best not to mention monetary gifts on your invitations. Instead, include the information on your wedding website.
• Always thank your guests. You can do this by sending out personalised thank-you cards to everyone who joins in the exciting day.
• Show your guests what their gift accomplishes by following up with an explanation of where the cash went. For example, you could add a picture of your new home to your wedding website.

Charity donations

Charity wedding registries are becoming an increasingly popular option for couples who want to use their wedding to give back to their community and support causes close to their hearts. This option is ideal for couples who are already financially comfortable and don't need traditional wedding gifts like homeware or kitchen appliances.

When setting up a charity wedding registry, it's important to choose a cause that is meaningful to you and your partner. This could be a local nonprofit that you regularly volunteer with, or a research centre working to cure a disease that has affected your life. Be sure to describe the charity's impact and explain why you would like guests to donate to it.

You can set up your charity wedding registry through a dedicated website or platform, such as The Knot or Hitchd. These platforms allow you to create a custom fund with a personalised title, description, image, and amount. You can also include links to the charity's website and other sources that vouch for its legitimacy and impact.

Another option is to create a GoFundMe fundraiser, where you can choose a certified charity to support and customise the content of your fundraiser. The funds donated by guests will automatically be sent to the nonprofit of your choice or directly to your bank account for you to donate as a lump sum.

When asking for charity donations in lieu of wedding gifts, it's important to be thoughtful and express why the nonprofit means so much to you. Remember that guests are not required to donate, but by sharing your connection to the cause, you can encourage them to contribute if they are able.

• "In celebration of your love and commitment to giving back, we've made a charitable donation in your names. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and purpose."
• "We know you said no gifts, but it's your wedding day and we wanted to do something special. Instead of a physical gift, we've made a contribution to your favourite charity, [charity name]."
• "We know that [charity name] is close to your heart, so for your wedding gift, we've decided to support them with a donation."

Wishing well

A wedding wishing well is a great way to indicate that you might prefer cash gifts without putting pressure on your guests. It is a convenient and tidy way to accept money and cards from guests, and it can be customised with creative decor. Here are some tips and wording examples to help you create a thoughtful and polite wishing well:

Explaining the Wishing Well

When inviting guests to your wedding, it is essential to communicate your gift preferences clearly and politely. Here are some suggestions on how to explain the wishing well concept:

• Include a separate card in the invitation envelope: This card can explain your gift preferences, such as whether you welcome gifts, prefer money for your honeymoon, or don't want any gifts. It's a great way to make your request more intimate and personalised.
• Wishing well signage: At the wedding venue, allocate a space for your wishing well and use a clear and nicely designed sign to identify it. The signage doesn't need to be complex, as your guests will have received more detailed information with their invitations.

The key to wishing well wording is to be considerate, polite, friendly, and not pushy. Here are some examples to inspire you:

• Simple wording: "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you would like to contribute to our future together as a couple, a wishing well will be available at our reception."
• Playful poem: "Your love and laughter at our wedding is all we truly need. But a wishing well contribution will be warmly received."
• Purposeful wording: "Your presence on our wedding day is the most special gift we could possibly ask for. However, if you do wish to bless us and contribute to our future together, we are saving for our new home. A wishing well will be present at our reception."
• Formal wording: "While your presence on our wedding day is a cherished gift, we understand some guests like to offer more. In lieu of a traditional gift, we would be grateful for a monetary contribution towards our life together. If you wish to participate, you can leave your donation and well wishes in our wishing well at the reception."
• Casual wording: "No gifts are necessary – we just want to see you! But if you do wish to give us something, a little cash to spend on our honeymoon (or our new home) would be very much appreciated."

Remember, it's important to emphasise that guests are not obligated to donate and that their presence at your wedding is a gift in itself. You can also mention that their donations can be made anonymously if they prefer.

Frequently asked questions