Best Man's Speech: Guide To Saying The Perfect Words

The best man at a wedding is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante. Typically a close friend or relative, the best man is in charge of the groomsmen and supports the groom throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. While there are no set rules, the role is often given to the groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, giving a speech, and ensuring the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be at the right time.

Best man's speech

Being the best man at a wedding is an honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. One of the biggest tasks is giving a memorable speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple.

Preparation

• Start by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom.
• Use a template as a guide. Templates can give you an idea of what to include, while still allowing you to add your own personality and experiences.
• Practice as much as possible. Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow.
• Practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to help you refine your delivery for a polished performance.
• Visualise yourself as a great speaker to boost your confidence.
• Don't memorise your speech word for word, but do put down your notes and focus on connecting with the audience.

Content

• Focus on the couple rather than yourself. While you can include a story or two about your friendship with the groom, don't centre the whole speech on it.
• Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that show who the groom is and your relationship with him.
• Include what the groom means to you. Talk about how he's always had your back, gives great advice, etc.
• Add personal touches and inside jokes, but avoid anything that will embarrass the couple or that only a small group of people will understand.
• Make sure to address the couple directly and wish them a happy future and life together.

Delivery

• Grab the audience's attention with a compelling opening and set the tone for your speech.
• Use hand gestures and maintain eye contact.
• Keep your speech lighthearted and positive.
• Don't ramble. Keep your speech concise, ideally under 5 minutes.
• If you're open to it, involve your audience by asking them a question during your speech.
• Stay true to yourself and your usual personality. Don't try to be a comedian if that's not who you are.

Example Excerpts

"Ladies and gentlemen, for those who don't know me, I'm Mike, and I've known [Groom] since we were fighting over the Nintendo controller in primary school. Back then, his idea of a perfect match was beating the final boss in Mario. Now he's found his perfect Player 2 in [Bride]."

"I've watched [Groom]'s relationship status update from 'single' to 'in a relationship' to 'married' with the same excitement as watching a software upgrade – wondering what bugs would be fixed in this new version. Thankfully, [Bride] turned out to be the perfect operating system to his occasionally glitchy hardware."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I’m Dave, [Groom]’s best man and default IT support for the past 15 years. When he asked me to give this speech, I did what any good tech guy would do – I Googled 'how to give a best man speech' and cleared my browser history immediately after."

Bachelor party planning

Planning a bachelor party can be a big deal. It's an event that marks the end of the pre-wedding preparations and symbolizes new beginnings. It's also a chance for the groom to relax and de-stress before the big day. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable bachelor party:

Understand the Groom's Wishes:

Talk to the groom and understand what he wants. Some grooms might prefer a low-key evening with close friends, while others may want an adventurous weekend getaway. Discuss his preferences, interests, comfort levels, and budget constraints. This will help you create a celebration that he will truly enjoy and cherish.

Create a Guest List:

Determine the number of attendees and create a guest list. Traditionally, the groom's closest friends and family members are invited, including the groomsmen. Consider the groom's preferences and budget when finalizing the list. Make sure to get everyone's contact information and send out invitations or a save-the-date message.

Set a Budget:

Establishing a clear budget is crucial. The best man and groomsmen typically contribute to cover the groom's expenses, but attendees may also chip in for their costs. Ensure that everyone is comfortable with the budget, including travel, accommodation, activities, and meals. Provide a rough estimate of the expected costs to help guests make informed decisions about their participation.

Choose the Date and Location:

Select a date and location that aligns with the groom's interests and availability. Consider any travel restrictions or weather conditions that may impact your plans. If the groom prefers a local night out, choose a venue that suits his interests, such as a bar, nightclub, or restaurant. For a destination getaway, pick a spot that offers activities he will enjoy, like a cabin in the woods, a beach, or a city with great nightlife.

Plan Activities and Entertainment:

Organize a variety of activities that cater to the groom's interests. This could include outdoor adventures, sporting events, a poker night, brewery tour, golf, or a concert. Remember, the focus should be on fun and bonding with the groom, so choose activities that everyone can enjoy.

Involve the Groom:

While surprises are fun, involve the groom in some decisions to ensure the event aligns with his preferences and avoids any discomfort. Keep him in the loop during the planning process and regularly seek his input.

Keep Safety in Mind:

Prioritize safety when planning the bachelor party. If alcohol is involved, arrange for transportation to and from venues to prevent drunk driving. Encourage moderation and responsible behavior to ensure the well-being of all guests.

Respect Boundaries:

Set clear boundaries and respect the groom's comfort level. Avoid activities that could lead to embarrassment or regret, and steer clear of pranks that could damage relationships.

Stay Organized:

Create a detailed itinerary and share it with all attendees. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and can plan accordingly. A well-organized agenda helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures a smooth flow of activities.

Capture Memories:

Don't forget to document the bachelor party with photos or videos. These memories will be cherished by the groom and guests for years to come. Consider creating a scrapbook or photo album as a keepsake.

Wedding attire

As the best man, you'll want to look smart and be prepared to assist the groom with any last-minute attire adjustments. Here are some tips and suggestions for wedding attire, depending on the dress code and setting:

Black-Tie Wedding

Black-tie weddings are the most formal, and the dress code is very restrictive. As a guest, you'll be expected to wear a tuxedo or a 'tropical dinner jacket', which consists of a crisp ivory dinner jacket and fancy black pants. It's best to reserve the latter for the wedding party only, as it is traditionally seen as a faux pas for guests.

For your outfit:

• Wear a black or midnight blue tuxedo. If these colours don't work for you, pick another dark shade.
• Choose black patent leather or velvet oxford shoes.
• Opt for a white, collared dress shirt, preferably a proper tuxedo shirt.
• Accessorise with a white or black bow tie, lapel pins, or tuxedo studs.

Formal Wedding

A formal wedding is less strict than black-tie, but a tuxedo is still a good choice. If there's no dress code, a full formal suit is expected.

For your outfit:

• Pick a dark-coloured suit, such as charcoal, navy, grey, or midnight blue. A 2-piece or 3-piece will work.
• Wear a collared dress shirt. White is a safe choice, but you can also opt for colours, textures, and patterns like pinstripes or pastels.
• Go for a bow tie or a smart necktie, avoiding novelty designs.
• Complete the look with elegant accessories, such as cufflinks and a watch.
• Black leather dress shoes and a matching belt are a must.

Semi-Formal/Cocktail Wedding

Semi-formal weddings allow for more individuality and fun with your outfit. While a tux may be a bit out of place, you can still go for a sleek suit or smart blazer and trousers.

For your outfit:

• Wear a suit, or if you're confident in your styling abilities, try suit separates like a blazer and chinos.
• Patterns like plaid, pinstripe, or windowpane are tasteful choices. For evening events, a navy blazer is a good option.
• You can also venture into colours like forest green and saturated blues.
• Start with a matching necktie, but feel free to loosen it up once the dancing begins.
• Choose sophisticated, muted jewellery, perhaps in wood, and add accessories like a tie bar or pocket square.

Casual Wedding

Casual wedding attire for men can be tricky to navigate. While you don't want to overdress, you also don't want to underdress. A smart dinner jacket and pants or a casually styled suit are good options.

For your outfit:

• Opt for a smart blazer and chinos, adding pops of colour.
• Choose a dress shirt with personality, and feel free to incorporate patterns and colours.
• You can take off your necktie later in the evening.
• Wear smart shoes and a matching belt.
• Accessorise with items you like, but don't go overboard. Cufflinks and a tie bar may be too formal. A nice watch is always a good choice.

Beach/Destination Wedding

For a beach or destination wedding, light and breathable fabrics are key. Linen and seersucker are great choices, and you can add a pop of colour to your outfit.

For your outfit:

• Wear a smart blazer in a light colour or fabric, such as a pale grey linen suit.
• Choose a dress shirt with personality, and don't be afraid to add patterns and colours.
• You can take off your blazer later if you get too warm.
• Wear smart shoes, such as leather loafers, and avoid open-toed shoes or flip-flops.
• Accessorise with items like a pocket square or lapel pin, but remember to keep it casual and fun.

Wedding rings

Firstly, it is important to choose the right material. Gold is a timeless classic, having been used as a symbol of commitment for generations. It is a safe, traditional choice. For something more modern, titanium and Damascus steel are sleek and durable options. Damascus steel, in particular, offers an intricate design, resembling a fancy knife. If you want something truly unique, meteorite, cobalt chrome, and even wood are all options. Wood is a great choice for those who want to bring a touch of nature to their commitment, but it is important to keep it dry. Platinum is another option, but it is expensive. For those on a budget, gold-plated rings offer a similar look at a lower cost. If you want something that will survive the apocalypse, titanium is a good choice. For something a little more fun, you could choose a glow-in-the-dark ring, or a ring made from dinosaur fossils.

The style of the ring is also important. The ideal width of a ring is a matter of personal preference, but generally, wedding bands range from 4mm to 8mm. It is also important to get the right size. You should measure your finger when it is warm, and at the end of the day when your fingers are at their largest. If your knuckle is larger than your finger, go for a larger size.

There are many options to choose from when it comes to wedding rings, so it is important to take your time and choose something that reflects your personality and taste.

Wedding day duties

The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with supporting and assisting him in any way possible before and during the wedding. Here is a detailed list of the best man's duties on the wedding day:

Keep the Groom and Groomsmen on Schedule

Time can slip away from you on the big day, so the best man is often responsible for keeping an eye on the clock and ensuring everyone gets to the venue on time. This includes helping to wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony and making sure everyone is where they need to be at the right time.

Hold the Wedding Rings

The best man is usually entrusted with holding the wedding rings, as well as other important items like the groom's phone, wallet, and vows. This is a small but critical task, as the rings are a costly and symbolic part of the ceremony.

Greet the Wedding Guests

As the best man is often a close friend or relative of the groom, they typically know many of the guests. This makes them the perfect candidate to help welcome guests to the wedding ceremony and ensure they feel welcomed and part of the celebration.

Sign the Marriage License

A couple needs two witnesses as they sign their marriage license, and this duty is often performed by the best man and maid of honour. The best man should always be prepared for this task, even having a backup pen in his pocket in case of any last-minute mishaps.

Give a Best Man's Speech

If the couple opens the floor for toasts, the best man is often the first to step up. This speech should be well-crafted, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story. It is a significant part of the best man's responsibilities and can be a daunting task, so it's essential to start preparing well in advance.

Keep the Reception Moving

The best man is expected to mingle at the reception, ensure everyone is having a great time, and get the party started. They may even be called upon to dance with the maid of honour, the mother of the bride, or the mother of the groom. If there are any delays with the DJ or band, a good best man will step in, crack a few jokes, and introduce the key players to keep the party going.

Collect and Transport Gifts

The best man can play a helpful role in ensuring wedding gifts are collected and safely transported to the couple's home or another designated location. This task is especially important if there is a specific place the couple wants the gifts stored, so guests don't have to worry about it.

Frequently asked questions