Rhiannon Hendricks
Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. The best man is expected to be by your side throughout the entire wedding process, from attending pre-wedding events to planning the bachelor party and providing support to the happy couple. It's important to consider who you're asking, their availability, and what you're expecting from them. While there's no need to make a grand gesture, it's worth putting some thought into how you'll pop the question. You could plan an activity around your shared favourite hobby, send a thoughtful card, or give them a gift that pops the question for you. Ultimately, your best man will be honoured to be asked to be part of your special day, however you choose to ask them.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| In-person | A one-on-one hang session, a dinner, a phone call, a round of golf, a football game, a hike, a fishing trip, a pub trip, a casual conversation |
| Gifts | Whisky, beer, a book, a hip flask, a card, a cigar, a pocket watch, a tie, cufflinks, a beard oil, a scratchcard, a t-shirt, a mug, a wine glass, a gift box, a bouquet of liquor, a cigar case, a pocket knife, a fire pit, a cooler backpack, a wallet, a print, a glass, a telegram |
| Group activity | A surprise dinner or drinks, a game, a stag do, a bike trip, a weekend away |
What You'll Learn
Plan around your favourite shared activity
Planning your best man proposal around your favourite shared activity is a great way to make your request more personal. Here are some ideas to help you pop the question:
Golfing
If you and your best mate have been golfing together for years, why not ask him to be your best man while enjoying a round of golf? You could even hide a personalised golf ball that pops the question and switch it with his at the right moment to surprise him.
Watching a Game
If you and your friend are obsessed with a particular football team, invite him over to watch a game and ask during halftime. You could also give him a personalised football shirt with a number, name, or message asking him to be your wedding strike partner.
Enjoying a Drink
Share a drink with your friend and pop the question! Write the question inside a pizza box, or package a bottle of liquor or a pack of beer with a note. You could also give him a personalised whisky glass, hip flask, or beer bottle with your face on it.
Playing Video Games
If you and your friend love gaming, bring a pizza over to his house for some video games and a drink. Write the question inside the pizza box or give him a card with the question to read after a few games.
Going to a Concert
If you and your friend love a particular band, get tickets to their concert and ask him to be your best man during the show. You could also give him a pair of personalised face mash socks to celebrate your bromance.
Remember, your relationship with your friend runs deep, so use your shared interests and activities to make your best man proposal memorable and fun!
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Send a handwritten card
Asking your best friend to be your best man can be nerve-wracking, but it's important to remember that the answer will most likely be "yes". It's a big job, and it's a big ask, so it's a good idea to put some thought into how you want to do it. Here are some ideas for how to ask your best friend to be your best man through a handwritten card:
The Nostalgic Route
Take a trip down memory lane in your card and highlight your favourite memories with your best friend. This is a great way to make your request feel more personal and show how much your friendship means to you. You can include photos, inside jokes, and a thoughtful message about why you want them to be your best man.
The Humorous Route
If getting sentimental isn't your style, you can keep things light and fun with a humorous card. This could be a funny illustration, a tongue-in-cheek message, or a playful reference to an inside joke. This approach will make your best friend smile and let them know that you want them by your side on your big day.
The Straightforward Route
Sometimes, simple is best. You can send a classy, elegant card with a straightforward message. This could be something like "Will you be my best man?" or "I want you by my side on my wedding day." This direct approach conveys your request clearly and shows that you value your friend's presence and support.
The Personalised Route
Add a personal touch to your card by tailoring it specifically to your best friend. This could include their name, your shared interests, or even your wedding theme colours. You can also include a handwritten note inside, expressing your appreciation for your friend and explaining why you want them to be your best man.
Remember, the most important thing is to choose a style that reflects your relationship and showcases the significance of the occasion. Good luck with your best man proposal!
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Give a proposal gift
Giving a proposal gift is a fun way to ask your best friend to be your best man. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, but it's a nice touch that can make your friend feel special. Here are some ideas for proposal gifts to help you pop the question:
Gifts with a Personal Touch
- Customized Gifts: Think about items like proposal box sets, engraved flasks, personalized cufflinks, or even a custom illustration of you both.
- Experience Together: Sometimes, sharing an experience, like a sports event, a gourmet dinner, or a day at the races, can be the perfect backdrop for your proposal.
- Nostalgia: Incorporate elements or themes from your shared experiences or inside jokes into the proposal. For example, if you've been golfing together for years, a set of custom golf balls or a golf-themed gift set could be perfect.
Other Gift Ideas
- Stylish Proposal Boxes: These often include goodies like personalized flasks, sunglasses, and dress socks with a "Will you be my best man?" label.
- Monogrammed Handkerchiefs: A stylish and practical gift that your groomsmen can use on your wedding day and keep as a memento.
- Alcohol-Themed Gifts: Alcohol is a classic choice and can be paired with a cocktail-making kit or a nice bottle of bourbon or single malt whisky. You could also give them a personalized hip flask or a set of engraved whiskey glasses.
- Personal Care Items: Consider a set of luxurious grooming products or a conditioning beard oil.
- Practical Gifts: Think about your friend's interests and personality. If they're handy, a personalized multi-tool or a pocket knife could be useful. If they're always on the go, a trendy travel tumbler or an insulated coffee mug might be appreciated.
- Fun Gifts: If your friend has a good sense of humour, a novelty tuxedo hoodie or a funny best man notebook could be a great way to pop the question.
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Host a surprise dinner or drinks
Hosting a surprise dinner or drinks is a great way to ask your best friend to be your best man. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable evening:
Planning and Preparation:
Start by choosing a date and time for your surprise dinner or drinks. Consider your friend's availability and choose a day when they are most likely to be free and well-rested. Give yourself enough time to plan and prepare, especially if you are cooking a meal.
Choose a Venue:
Think about where you want to host the surprise dinner or drinks. It could be at your home, a restaurant, or even a unique location that holds a special meaning for both of you. If you decide to host it at home, make sure to create a romantic and intimate atmosphere with dim lighting, candles, and fresh flowers. Clean your space, including the kitchen and bathroom, to make sure your friend feels comfortable and welcomed.
Menu Selection:
Plan a menu that is elegant yet not too heavy. Consider your friend's taste preferences and dietary restrictions. Choose dishes that can be prepared in advance, such as make-ahead appetizers, slow-cooked stews, or marinated steaks. If you're cooking a meal, prepare as much as possible beforehand to minimise time spent in the kitchen during the event. Don't forget to stock up on their favourite drinks!
Invitations and Guests:
If you're planning a small gathering, consider inviting a few of your friend's close friends or family members to join in the celebration. Send out invitations and emphasize the importance of keeping the event a surprise. You could even involve your guests in the planning process, such as bringing a special dish or drink.
Setting the Mood:
On the day of the event, set the mood by playing your friend's favourite music in the background. If you're hosting the event at home, set the table with your best dinnerware, a tablecloth, linen napkins, and candlesticks. If the weather permits, consider dining outdoors on a patio or balcony to create a unique and memorable experience.
The Big Ask:
During the dinner or drinks, find the right moment to pop the question. You can make a toast and share a few words about your friendship and how much they mean to you. Then, ask them to be your best man and present them with a small gift or a personalised card as a token of your appreciation.
Remember, the key to a successful surprise dinner or drinks is thoughtful planning and attention to detail. By creating a special and intimate atmosphere, your friend will feel loved and appreciated, making it the perfect moment to ask them to be your best man.
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Wear matching sports shirts or caps
Asking your best man to be your best man is a big deal, so why not make it memorable by wearing matching sports shirts or caps? Here are some ideas to help you pull it off:
Choose the Right Item
Decide whether you want to go with matching sports shirts or caps. If you opt for shirts, consider polo shirts or jerseys in a comfortable, breathable fabric. For caps, baseball caps or sports team caps are great options.
Pick a Colour
When choosing a colour, consider something that reflects your style or the theme of your wedding. You could go for a classic colour like navy or grey, or something bolder like red or orange. Just make sure the colour complements both of your complexions.
Add Personalisation
Take the matching to the next level by personalising the shirts or caps with your names, the wedding date, or a fun message. This will make the items even more memorable and is sure to bring a smile to your best man's face.
Plan an Activity
Instead of just giving your best man the matching item, plan an activity where you can both wear them together. It could be a friendly game of basketball or a day at the races. This will create a fun memory and some great photo opportunities.
Present It Well
When asking your best man, think about how you want to present the matching item to them. You could wrap it up in a gift box or even hide it somewhere for them to find during your activity. A well-presented gift will make the moment feel extra special.
Make It Comfortable
Finally, ensure that whatever item you choose is comfortable and fits well. You want your best man to feel confident and dashing when wearing it, so pay attention to the sizing and fabric choice.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it's not necessary to make a big deal out of it. Simply asking your friend in person is enough. However, if you want to make it more special, you can plan something creative or give them a gift.
You can plan something around your shared favourite activities or hobbies. For example, if you both enjoy golf, you could ask while playing a round of golf. You could also send them a thoughtful card or give them a personalised gift, such as a custom-engraved bottle of their favourite drink.
Giving a gift is not required, but it can be a nice gesture. It doesn't have to be expensive; something thoughtful and meaningful will do.
You can give a gift that ties into your relationship, such as a personalised coffee mug if you both enjoy coffee, or a bottle of their favourite wine if you share a love for wine. Other ideas include custom cufflinks, a hip flask, or a book related to a shared interest.
Being a best man is a big responsibility, so it's important to consider the person's availability and whether they can commit to the role. Think about what you expect from your best man and whether the person you're asking is the right fit for those expectations.
