Adults-Only Wedding: How To Politely Exclude Children

Planning a wedding is stressful, and one of the toughest parts is deciding on the guest list. If you're looking to keep your wedding a child-free affair, there are a few ways to politely communicate this to your guests. From the moment you send out your save-the-dates and invitations, make it clear that only the invited guests are named on the envelope. You can also include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards, with simple wording such as adults-only reception or please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock. If you have a wedding website, be sure to include an FAQ page where guests can find answers to questions like Can we bring kids?. You can also offer to accommodate the children of out-of-town guests by providing a trusted caregiver or allowing children to attend the rehearsal dinner.

Addressing the invitations

Be Clear and Consistent

It's important to be clear and consistent in your messaging about the adults-only nature of the wedding. This starts with how you address the invitations. If you are inviting parents with children, be sure to use only their names on the envelope, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," not "The Chavez Family." This will help to avoid any confusion and set the right expectations from the start.

Specify the Age Limit

Clearly specify the age limit for your adult-only wedding. You can use phrases such as "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow" or "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception." This will help guests understand the parameters and plan accordingly.

Provide a Note or Insert

If you want to include a more detailed explanation or a polite request, consider adding a note or insert to your invitations. This could be in the form of a response card or information card included with the invitation. A simple message such as "Adults-only reception" or "Children over 16 years of age only" can be added to the bottom of the invitation or response card.

Offer Babysitting Options

If you want to go the extra mile for your guests with children, consider offering babysitting options. You can include a personalised note with your invitation, such as "Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel." This will not only show that you're considerate of their needs but also encourage more of your loved ones to attend.

Be Mindful of Tone

When deciding on the wording for your invitations, consider the style and formality of your wedding. Choose playful and light-hearted phrases for a casual, relaxed wedding, and opt for more formal and elegant wording for an upscale, traditional event. This will help you maintain a consistent tone throughout your wedding communications.

Include a Count on the RSVP Cards

To avoid any confusion or misunderstandings, you can include a count on the RSVP cards. Beneath the line where guests write their names, add "___ of ___ guests" and fill in the second line with the number of invited guests. This will make it clear how many people, including children, are invited from each family or group.

Remember, addressing the invitations is just one aspect of communicating your adults-only wedding. You can also include information on your wedding website and spread the word through your bridal party and close relatives. Being clear, consistent, and considerate in your messaging will help ensure your guests understand and respect your decision.

Wording the invitation

When it comes to wedding planning, deciding on the guest list can be one of the most stressful and toughest parts. If you are facing capacity limits or budget constraints, you may decide to have an adults-only wedding. Communicating this to your guests can be tricky, especially when immediate family is concerned. However, there are ways to politely and effectively convey this information. Here are some suggestions for wording your invitations to indicate that your wedding is adults-only:

Short and Sweet Statements:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note, this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."

When Space or Budget is Limited:

• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "We have reserved [X] seats in your honour."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to restricted numbers."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."

Fun Messages to Lighten the Mood:

• "We love your kids but thought you might like a night off! Adults only, please!"
• "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry, we respectfully ask that no children attend."
• "We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to celebrate in style!"

When Including Newborns, Nieces, and Nephews:

• "Children of immediate family only, please."
• "Respectfully, an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months are welcome."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception."
• "Due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that children are only invited if named."

General Tips:

• Be clear and consistent about the parameters: Decide on the age limit and stick to it.
• Don't make exceptions: Avoid inviting your favourite niece or younger cousin to avoid ruffling feathers with parents whose children didn't make the cut.
• Address invitations specifically to the invited guests: Use "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "The [Last Name] Family" to indicate that children are not included.
• Include "adults only" on the wedding invitations or RSVP cards: You can add a count on the RSVP cards by writing "___ of ___ guests" and filling in the second line with the number of invited guests.
• Create a wedding website: Include an FAQ page and state that while you love children, you prefer adults-only attendance.
• Spread the word through your bridal party and close family: They can help answer questions from other guests.

Creating a wedding website

Choose a Platform

First, select a website builder that suits your needs and style. Popular options include The Knot, WeddingWire, Zola, Minted, Wix, and Squarespace. These platforms offer various templates, customization options, and tools to help you create a beautiful and functional website.

Design and Customization

Once you've chosen a platform, it's time to get creative! Customize your website by adding relevant pages such as "Home," "Our Story," "Schedule," "Travel and Accommodations," "Registry," and "RSVP." Upload engagement photos, select a colour palette, and add personal touches to reflect your style and story as a couple.

Essential Details

Be sure to include all the important details your guests need to know, such as the wedding date, location, dress code, and gift registries. Provide clear event timelines, including pre-ceremony gatherings and post-wedding festivities. If you're having a destination wedding, include travel and accommodation recommendations, transportation information, and nearby attractions.

FAQ and Guest Interaction

Anticipate your guests' questions and create an FAQ page to address common queries about attire, arrival details, and more. You can also use this space to politely communicate your adults-only wedding request. For example, include an "FAQ" page with the question, "Can we bring kids?" and clearly state your preference for an adult-only celebration. You can also suggest a local babysitting agency as a helpful resource for your guests.

Keep it Mobile-Friendly and Up-to-Date

Ensure your wedding website is mobile-friendly, making it convenient for guests to access information on the go. Regularly update your website with any changes or additions to your wedding plans. This will help your guests stay informed and reduce the number of questions you receive.

Share the Link

Once your website is live, share the link with your guests through your save-the-dates, invitations, or other stationery. You can also password-protect your site to maintain privacy while still providing access to your guests.

Spreading the word

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky conversation to have with friends and family. Here are some ways to spread the word and let your guests know about your adult-only wedding:

The Right Way to Address Your Wedding Invitations

The best way to make sure your guests know about your adult-only wedding is to be clear and consistent from the very beginning. Start with how you address your save-the-dates and invitations: only the invited guests are named on the invitation. If you are inviting parents, be sure to use only their names on the envelope, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez", not "The Chavez Family".

Include "Adults Only" on the Wedding Invitations

You can even add a count on the RSVP cards. Beneath the line where guests can write their names, add “___ of ___ guests” and fill in that second line with the number of guests included in each invitation to avoid any confusion. You can also include a little note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards. Simple wording such as “Adults-only reception” or “Children over 16 years of age only” can be inserted at the bottom of the invitation or response card.

Say It on Your Wedding Website

Most couples have wedding websites that contain a comprehensive list of details for their upcoming wedding. On your site, be sure to include an FAQ page. Include the question "Can we bring kids?” and clearly state that, while you love all the little ones in your lives, you would prefer your family and friends to be able to have a fantastic time without worrying about their kids.

Be Ready to Have a Difficult Conversation

If you do have guests RSVPing for their entire family, let them know as soon as the card comes in that the invitation is only for the parents. You can say why it's adults-only—maybe it's the activities or the venue that's adult-centric—or you can cite budget constraints as the reason.

Ask Your Bridal Party and Family to Help Spread the Word

Tell your families, wedding party, and other close friends and relatives about your adult-only wedding. They don’t need to shout it from the rooftops on your behalf, but if they know what you’ve decided, they’ll be better informed to answer questions from other guests.

Dealing with RSVPs

The best way to make sure your guests know that your wedding will be adults-only is to be as clear as possible from the very beginning. This will help parents who have to arrange childcare. Start by making it clear on your save-the-date cards and invitations. Only the invited guests should be named on the invitation. If you are inviting parents with children, address the envelope to them by name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez", not "The Chavez Family".

If you are worried that some guests won't get the hint, you can include "adults only" on the wedding invitations. You can also add a count on the RSVP cards. Beneath the line where guests write their names, add “___ of ___ guests” and fill in that second line with the number of guests included in each invitation to avoid any confusion.

Another way to make your intentions clear is to include a personalised note with your invitation: "We’d love to have Lexie and Max there but unfortunately we’re limited by budget/space constraints. We hope you can still make it."

If you do have guests RSVPing for their entire family, call them as soon as the card comes in. Let them know that the invitation is actually only for the parents. You can cite "budget constraints" or say that it's because of the venue or the activities that are adult-centric.

Even if the budget isn’t the reason, that’s a much more understandable excuse than saying, “Well, we think kids will be noisy or distracting”. If a guest declares that they won’t come without their children, you have to respect their decision.

It's a good idea to also include the information on your wedding website. Most couples have wedding websites that contain a comprehensive list of details for their upcoming wedding. On your site, be sure to include an FAQ page. Include the question "Can we bring kids?” and clearly state that, while you love all those little ones in your lives, you really want your family and friends to be able to have a fantastic time without worrying about their kids. Some may still travel with children, so consider including information for a local babysitting agency.

Frequently asked questions