The Best Man: A Woman's Role In Wedding Parties

It is becoming increasingly common for brides and grooms to have a member of the opposite sex in their wedding party. This has led to questions about the role of a best man and whether this role can be performed by a woman. The answer is yes, a woman can be a best man, and she is often referred to as the best woman. However, there are several things to consider when making this choice, such as the duties of the best man, the potential for jealousy from the bride or groom, and the attire of the best woman.

What should she wear?

When it comes to what a female best man should wear, there are a few options. It's important to keep in mind that she should feel comfortable and confident in her chosen attire. Here are some suggestions:

Female Tuxedo or Suit

She can opt for a female tuxedo or suit, which will match the style and colour of the groomsmen's outfits. This is a great choice if she wants to coordinate with the groomsmen and feel sharp and stylish.

Matching Dress with Bridesmaids

If the female best man is close to the bride, she might prefer to wear a dress that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. This option allows her to feel more feminine and in sync with the bridal party. The dress can be in the same colour or a similar style as the bridesmaids' outfits.

Dress in the Groomsmen's Colour

Another option is for the female best man to wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen. This way, she can stand out from the bridesmaids while still coordinating with the groomsmen. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits, she could wear a navy dress.

Accessories

Regardless of what she chooses to wear, she can add accessories that coordinate with either the groomsmen or the bridesmaids. For instance, if she opts for a suit, she can add a boutonniere or a corsage that matches the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses. Alternatively, if she wears a dress, she can add a jacket or shoes that complement the groomsmen's outfits.

Ultimately, the decision is up to the female best man and what makes her feel comfortable and confident. It's a good idea to discuss the options with her and keep the bride-to-be in the loop as well, to ensure everyone is on the same page and happy with the choice.

What should you call a female best man?

There are several options for what to call a female best man. The most common terms are "best woman" or "groomsmaid", but other options include "best person", "best lady", "best maid", "best matron", "groom's attendant", "groom's maid of honour", "grooms-chick", "grooms-woman", "grooms-chicks", "honoured attendant", and "man of honour". Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what to call their female best man, and they can get creative with the title if they wish.

What if your partner is uncomfortable with it?

It is important to keep your partner in the loop about your choice of best man. It is best to let them know as early as possible so that you can both work out the finer details before the big day.

Your partner may feel uncomfortable with your choice of best man if they are jealous of your friendship with someone of the opposite gender. Clear communication with your partner will help to dispel these feelings and ensure your plans stay on track. It is important to be sensitive to your partner's feelings and keep them informed.

If your best man is your ex-partner, it is probably best to choose someone else to avoid upsetting your partner.

Ultimately, it is your wedding and your choice, but being mindful of your partner's feelings and keeping the lines of communication open will help to ensure that your wedding goes smoothly and is a happy occasion for all involved.

What are the duties of a female best man?

A best man is the groom's right-hand person throughout the wedding planning process and on the day of the wedding. While there are no set rules on who can be the best man, this role is often given to a groom's close friend or relative. The role of the best man typically includes specific duties, such as planning and organizing the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, and giving a speech during the reception.

Before the Wedding

• Assist with outfit details: Help the groom and groomsmen select their wedding attire.
• Organize the bachelor party: Plan and organize the bachelor party, consulting with the groom to ensure it aligns with his wishes.
• Coordinate the groom's gift: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best woman can lead this effort by collecting money and choosing the gift.
• Provide emotional support: Be there for the groom to listen to any complaints, confessions, or questions, and reassure him that everything will be okay.
• Be present for the rehearsal: Attend the wedding rehearsal and help wrangle the wedding party to ensure the schedule moves along smoothly.

During the Wedding

• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: On the day of the wedding, ensure that everyone gets to the venue on time and help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony.
• Hold the wedding rings: Be entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged during the ceremony.
• Witness the marriage license: Be a witness as the couple signs their marriage license, and have a backup pen in case of any last-minute mishaps.
• Greet the wedding guests: Welcome guests to the wedding ceremony, especially if the best woman knows a large portion of the guests.
• Give a speech: If the couple opens up the floor for toasts, the best woman may be the first to step in and give a well-crafted speech focusing on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Keep the reception moving: Be ready to step in and emcee if needed, crack a few jokes, and get the crowd to the dance floor.
• Collect gifts: Help collect gifts from guests and ensure they are safely stored or transported to the newlyweds' home.

After the Wedding

• Return the groomsmen outfits: Help return any rented outfits or accessories worn by the groom and groomsmen.
• Decorate the newlyweds' car: Coordinate and decorate the getaway car for the newlyweds, often with the help of the rest of the wedding party.

Other Considerations

• Attire: The female best man can choose what to wear based on her comfort. She may opt for a female tuxedo or suit, a dress that matches the color code of the groomsmen, or an outfit similar to the bridesmaids' if she is close to the bride.
• Stag do: The female best man can join the stag do or opt for a mixed-gender celebration, often called a "hag do" or "sten do."
• Symmetry in photos: Discuss with the couple if they prefer to have symmetrical bridal party photos, and decide whether the female best man will stand with the groomsmen or bridesmaids.
• Gift for the best woman: Consider getting a personalized gift that symbolizes your relationship, such as an engraved compass necklace if you have travelled together.

Remember, the duties of the best woman can always be tailored to the individual and the specific needs of the couple. The most important aspect is to provide support and assistance to the groom and ensure that their wedding day is memorable and stress-free.

Can she attend the stag do?

It is becoming more common for women to be included in stag dos, or "sten dos", and for men to be included in hen dos. If the best woman is comfortable with it, she can absolutely attend the stag do. However, it is important to consider her preferences and feelings, and whether she would be more comfortable attending the hen party instead.

If she is joining the stag do, it is important to ensure that the accommodation choice is suitable for her, and that she has someone she feels comfortable sharing a room with. It is also a good idea to let the other attendees know in advance that she will be joining them, especially if they are not already close to her.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to attend the stag do is up to the best woman, and the couple-to-be should respect her decision.

Frequently asked questions