Etiquette Of Asking For Money As A Wedding Gift

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be a tricky situation to navigate. While it may be considered taboo by some, it is becoming more widely accepted, especially with many couples now living together before marriage and already having household items that were once popular wedding gifts. There are several ways to ask for money as a wedding gift, but what matters most is how you do it. Asking for money on your wedding invitations is generally considered a faux pas, as it can make guests feel uncomfortable and take away from the celebration of the wedding itself. Instead, there are other ways to politely ask for monetary gifts, such as including a small section on your wedding details cards or wedding website, using a cash registry website or honeymoon fund, or simply spreading the word through close friends and family.

Don't ask for money on your wedding invites

While it may be acceptable to ask for money instead of traditional wedding gifts, it is not okay to do so on your wedding invitations. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't ask for money on your wedding invites, along with some alternative options to consider:

It May Come Across as Greedy or Impolite

Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that you should not include your registry details or any gift requests on your wedding invitations. Asking for money directly on the invitations can come across as greedy or impolite. It is important to remember that wedding gifts are not required from guests, and your main focus should be on celebrating your special day with your loved ones.

Provide Other Ways for Guests to Contribute

Instead of asking for money on the invitations, you can include an insert card within your stationery suite with the address of your wedding website. On your website, you can provide details about your preference for monetary gifts and how you plan to use the money. This way, you communicate your wishes in a more tasteful and considerate manner.

Utilize Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is a powerful tool to connect with your guests and share important information. Use this platform to explain why you have registered for cash gifts and how you intend to use the funds. For example, you could say, "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself, but if you wish to honour us with a gift, we kindly request a contribution towards our dream honeymoon."

Spread the Word Through Family and Friends

Inform your close family members, wedding party, and friends about your preference for monetary gifts. They can tactfully spread the word and suggest that guests contribute to your savings fund or honeymoon instead of purchasing a physical gift. This approach is more personal and respectful of your guests' choices.

Set Up a Card Box at the Reception

Some guests may prefer to bring a congratulatory card with a cheque or cash to the wedding reception. To accommodate these guests, set up a designated card box at the reception. This ensures the safe-keeping of monetary gifts and makes writing thank-you notes easier.

Remember, while it's okay to ask for money as a wedding gift, the way you communicate your request is crucial. Be mindful of your guests' feelings, provide alternative options, and always express gratitude for their generosity.

Use a cash or honeymoon registry

Using a cash or honeymoon registry is a great way to ask for money instead of physical gifts for your wedding. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you navigate this process tastefully and effectively:

Choose a Honeymoon or Cash Registry Site

There are several honeymoon and cash registry websites available, such as Honeyfund and Zola. These platforms allow you to create a registry for your dream honeymoon or other financial goals like saving for a home. Honeyfund, for example, is a free service that allows you to create a registry with no fees. When selecting a registry site, be sure to read reviews, terms and conditions, and clarify any associated fees.

Share Your Travel Plans and Itinerary

When setting up your registry, be descriptive and detailed about your travel plans and itinerary. Outline your destination, exciting activities you plan to do, and places you want to visit. This helps guests understand what they are contributing to and makes them feel more connected to your plans.

Break it Down into Specific Items and Experiences

Instead of just asking for money, break down your registry into specific items and experiences that guests can contribute to. For example, they could gift you a romantic dinner, a night's stay at your honeymoon hotel, or a fun local tour. This makes the gifting experience more personal and exciting for your guests.

Provide a Traditional Registry as Well

While you may prefer monetary gifts, it is recommended to also provide a traditional registry for guests who prefer giving physical gifts. This could include a small selection of items you truly want or need, or even things that complement your honeymoon experience, like luggage or travel accessories.

Communicate Your Wishes Tactfully

While it is acceptable to ask for money instead of gifts, it is important to do so tactfully and not on your wedding invitation itself. Instead, include an insert card within your invitation suite directing guests to your wedding website, where they can find more information about your registry preferences. You can also ask your close family and friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts.

Be Grateful and Flexible

Remember to express gratitude for any gifts you receive, whether they align perfectly with your preferences or not. While you may have specific items or experiences listed on your registry, feel free to be flexible with how you use the money. As long as you put the money towards your honeymoon or other financial goals, your guests will be happy knowing they contributed to something meaningful for you.

Provide a link to your wedding website

It is generally considered a faux pas to ask for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, you can politely direct your guests towards your wedding website, where you can explain your preference for monetary gifts. Here are some ideas for how to do this:

Create a wedding website

Firstly, you'll need to set up a wedding website. This is a great place to answer any questions your guests may have about your wedding day, and it's the ideal place to mention gifts. You can include a section on your website that talks about your preferences for gifts, and mention that you'd love any cash donations or honeymoon contributions.

Be sure to include a link to your wedding website on your wedding invitations. This way, guests can easily find your website and learn about your gift preferences.

Explain why you're asking for money

It's a good idea to explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. Attaching a cash gift request to a goal will help gift-givers feel like their money will be meaningful. For example, you could say something like: "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts, which we'll put towards our dream honeymoon."

Be specific about how you'll spend the money

It's important to be specific about how you plan to use the cash. For example, you could say that it will go towards your honeymoon, a house deposit, or home improvements. This will make your request more personal and help your guests, especially older family members, feel more comfortable.

Keep it short and simple

You know your guests best, so tailor your message to suit their personalities. If short and sweet works for most of them, go with a concise message that's still personal and warm. For example: "We have all that we need to start our life together. If you wish to provide a gift, we have set up a wedding website to help us with honeymoon contributions. Thank you!"

Use humour

If you and your partner are known for your humour, use it to your advantage! Here's an example: "Of course, keep it tasteful and remember that there will still be guests who are not totally bought into the idea of giving money as a wedding gift online."

Use a poem

Poems are cute, creative ways to ask for money with a bit of sophistication. They can take some of the sting out of a direct request for cash. For example: "If a gift is on your mind, a contribution would be kind. It will help us more than words can say, to celebrate our special day!"

Tell close friends and family members

While it is considered rude to ask for money on your wedding invitation, there are other ways to politely ask your close friends and family members for monetary gifts. Here are some suggestions:

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Money

Explain to your close friends and family members how you plan to use the money. For example, you could tell them that you're saving for your first home as newlyweds or planning to go on your dream honeymoon. This helps to make your request more personal and lets your guests know exactly what they are contributing towards. It also helps them feel more connected to your plans and can make their gift feel more meaningful.

Ask Your Close Friends and Family Members to Spread the Word

Inform your closest friends and family members about your preference for cash gifts and encourage them to spread the word discreetly. They can tactfully mention it to other guests when asked for gift suggestions. This way, you don't have to worry about offending anyone, and your friends and family can help you get the gifts you truly want.

Use a Gift Registry Website

A gift registry website can be a great option if you're nervous about directly asking your older family members for cash. These websites allow you to register for both physical gifts and cash funds. That way, you can have the best of both worlds and give your guests multiple options to choose from. Some popular gift registry websites include Prezola.com, Honeyfund, and Zola.

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website

Create a wedding website and include a section that talks about your gift preferences. Mention that you would appreciate cash donations or contributions towards your honeymoon or other specific goals. You can also include a simple message, such as, "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts." This approach allows you to communicate your wishes in a subtle and respectful manner.

Remember, it's important to be sensitive and considerate when asking for money as a wedding gift. Be mindful of your guests' feelings and always express your gratitude for their presence and support.

Talk about how you plan to use the money

While it is considered acceptable to ask for money as a wedding gift, it is important to communicate this in a thoughtful and considerate way. Here are some suggestions for talking about how you plan to use the money:

Be transparent about your intentions

It is essential to be clear about your intentions for the monetary gifts. Are you saving for a down payment on a new home, planning a honeymoon, or funding your dream wedding? Sharing these details with your guests will help them understand your request and feel more connected to your plans.

Share your story

Weave your personal story into the request. Talk about your future goals, such as purchasing your first home together or starting a family. Explain how the money will help you achieve these milestones and create lasting memories. This approach adds a sentimental touch to your request and showcases your vulnerability.

Get specific

Provide specific details about how the money will be used. For example, you could mention that it will go towards a romantic honeymoon destination, renovations for your future home, or a much-needed new car. Being explicit about your intentions shows that you have carefully considered how the money will be spent and that it will be used responsibly.

Express your gratitude

Throughout your communication, be sure to express your gratitude for your guests' presence and their contributions. Let them know that their attendance at your wedding is already a gift in itself. This will help your guests feel valued and appreciated, and it will soften the tone of your request.

Provide a personal touch

If you're uncomfortable with the idea of simply asking for money, consider adding a personal touch. You could include a meaningful poem or a light-hearted rhyme in your communication. This approach can make your request more playful and less direct, ensuring your guests don't feel pressured.

Remember, it's essential to be tactful and considerate when asking for money as a wedding gift. Be mindful of your guests' feelings, and always express your appreciation for their support.

Frequently asked questions