Announcing Your Wedding Plans: A Polite Guide To Non-Invited Guests

Wedding announcements are a great way to spread the news of your marriage to those who weren't invited to the wedding. Whether it's due to budget constraints, limited venue space, or the desire for an intimate ceremony, wedding announcements allow you to share your happiness with distant relatives, colleagues, and friends who weren't on the guest list. These announcements can be sent before or after the wedding, but careful wording is essential to avoid any misunderstanding or appearing gift-grabby.

Send wedding announcements to those who weren't invited

Wedding announcements are a great way to spread the news of your marriage to those who weren't invited to the wedding. This could be due to budget or space constraints, or because you're having a small, intimate ceremony. Announcements are typically sent to distant relatives, business associates, or friends who didn't make the guest list due to limited space.

When sending wedding announcements, it's important to be mindful of the timing. Ideally, the announcements should be mailed the day after the wedding to ensure your loved ones find out about your nuptials promptly. However, they can also be sent up to several months after the wedding. It's also crucial to use specific wording to make it clear that the recipient is receiving a wedding announcement and not an invitation.

"Mr. and Mrs. James Welch are honoured to announce the marriage of their daughter Ashley Michelle to Mr. Derek Scott Jamison on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of September two thousand and twenty in Petaluma, California."

Or, for a more informal approach:

"Derek and I are so thrilled to announce that we are married! Our wedding was on September 26th at a small restaurant in Petaluma. We celebrated with just a few family and friends and are heading to Hawaii for our honeymoon soon. We can't wait to celebrate with you over the holidays! Love, Ashley and Derek."

Remember, wedding announcements are entirely optional. If you feel that sending them might come across as gift-grabby or cause disappointment among those who weren't invited, you can choose to spread the news of your marriage through word of mouth or social media instead.

Announce your wedding online

Many couples opt for small, intimate ceremonies that cannot accommodate large guest lists. However, you may still want to announce your marriage to loved ones, professional colleagues, casual acquaintances, or extended family members who were not invited to the wedding. In such cases, you can send a wedding announcement instead of an invitation.

Choose an Online Platform

Select an online platform that suits your needs and preferences. This could be a social media platform such as Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, or you could create a wedding website or blog to share your news. Basic Invite, Greetings Island, and Canva are also great options for creating and sharing customizable wedding announcements.

Timing is Key

It is generally considered polite to wait until the day of the wedding or the day after to send out your announcements. This helps to avoid any confusion with invitations and ensures that your special moment has already taken place.

Use Clear and Specific Wording

Use clear and specific wording to ensure that your announcement is not mistaken for an invitation. Here is a suggestion for the wording if your parents hosted the wedding:

> "Mr. and Mr. [Father's Last Name] have the honour of announcing the marriage of their daughter [Your Full Name] to [Partner's Full Name] on [Date of Wedding], at [Wedding Location and Address]."

If you and your partner want to announce your marriage yourselves, you might say something like:

> " [Your Full Name] and [Partner's Full Name] happily announce their marriage on [Date of Wedding]."

Include a Photo

Consider including a photo of you and your partner to make your announcement more personalised and visually appealing. This could be a recent photo from your wedding or a favourite couple's photo.

Customise Your Announcement

Make your announcement unique and reflective of your style as a couple. You can customise the design, colours, fonts, and wording to create a one-of-a-kind announcement. Match your wedding colours or choose a theme that represents your relationship.

Share Your News

Finally, share your announcement with your online community. You can post it on social media, send it via email, or even print and display it for those you meet in person.

Remember, announcing your wedding online is a great way to include those who could not be physically present at your ceremony. By following these steps, you can create a memorable and personalised announcement that will be cherished by you and your loved ones.

Be honest about why you didn't invite someone

It's never easy to tell someone that they're not invited to your wedding, but sometimes it has to be done. Here are some tips on how to be honest and direct when explaining your reasons:

Be straightforward and mindful of their feelings

According to Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette expert Emily Post, and world-renowned wedding planner Marcy Blum, it's important to be honest, straightforward, and mindful of the person's feelings when letting them know they're not invited. Remember, it's not an easy conversation for either of you, so approach it with sensitivity.

Explain the constraints you're dealing with

Be open about the challenges you're facing, whether it's budget constraints, venue limitations, or the need to keep the guest list small. People will be more understanding if they know the specific reasons behind your decision.

Emphasize that it's not personal

Let the person know that your decision isn't a reflection of your relationship with them. Explain that you have to make tough choices and that it's nothing personal. This can help ease any tension and hurt feelings.

Suggest alternative ways to celebrate

If possible, propose other ways to celebrate with the person. Suggest meeting up for coffee, dinner, or a casual get-together after the wedding. This shows that you still value their friendship and want to maintain the connection.

Stand your ground gracefully

If the person tries to negotiate or guilt-trip you into inviting them, politely but firmly stand your ground. Explain that you understand their disappointment but that your decision is final. It's important to set clear boundaries and not give in to pressure.

Be gentle and understanding

Remember that the person might be genuinely hurt or disappointed. Try to be gentle and understanding while still being clear about your decision. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you appreciate their interest in celebrating with you.

Keep the lines of communication open

Don't avoid the person or ignore their attempts to reach out. Be responsive and willing to have conversations about the situation. This can help smooth over any potential conflicts and preserve your relationship.

Remember, honesty and empathy are key when explaining why someone isn't invited to your wedding. Be respectful, compassionate, and direct, and try to offer alternative ways to celebrate and maintain your friendship.

Avoid mentioning gifts on the announcement

Wedding announcements are meant to spread the news of a recent or upcoming marriage. They are typically sent to distant relatives, business associates, or friends who didn't make the guest list due to a small guest list. When sending out wedding announcements, it is important to avoid mentioning gifts. Here are some tips to achieve this:

• Avoid including any information about gifts or a registry. This will help ensure that the recipients do not feel obligated to send a gift.
• Focus on sharing your happiness and excitement about the wedding. Use phrases such as "We are thrilled to announce our marriage" or "We are delighted to share the news of our wedding."
• Send the announcements promptly after the wedding. Ideally, mail them the day after the wedding to ensure your loved ones find out about your nuptials promptly. This timing will also help avoid any perception of gift-grabbing.
• Consider including a personal note expressing your understanding if they could not attend. For example, you can write, "We understand if you were unable to be with us on our special day, but we wanted to share our joy with you."
• Provide wedding details sparingly. While it is customary to include some basic information such as the date and location of the wedding, avoid including too many specifics that may imply an expectation of gifts.
• If you have a wedding website, avoid including the link on the announcement. This will help ensure that the focus remains on sharing your happy news rather than directing people to a site that may include gift-related information.
• Be mindful of your wording. Use phrases like "We are happy to share our news" or "We wanted to let you know about our special day" instead of phrases that might imply an expectation of gifts.

Send announcements after the wedding

Wedding announcements are a great way to spread the news of your marriage to those who were not invited to the wedding. This could be due to budget constraints, travel issues, or simply because you chose to have an intimate ceremony. Announcements can be mailed, published in the local newspaper, or posted on social media. Here are some tips for sending announcements after the wedding:

Timing

Ideally, wedding announcements should be mailed the day after the wedding to ensure your loved ones find out about your nuptials promptly. However, it is also acceptable to send them within 30 days of the wedding, especially if you want to include photos from your special day. If you plan to use professional photos, communicate with your photographer beforehand and ask if you can receive a few sneak peek images to include in your announcements.

Mailing List

Create a mailing list for your wedding announcements. This list should include invited guests who were unable to attend, as well as close family and friends who were not invited due to the small size or intimate nature of the wedding.

Content

A wedding announcement card should include the full names of both the bride and groom, the wedding date, and the location of the ceremony. It is also common to include the names of the hosts if someone other than the couple hosted the wedding. Other optional details include a description of the wedding dress and bouquet, the honeymoon destination, and the couple's future residence.

Wording

The wording of the announcement will depend on the formality of the wedding and the hosts. Here is an example for a formal wedding hosted by the parents:

> Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith have the pleasure of announcing the marriage of their daughter Janelle Smith to Kevin Saunders on Saturday, the Twentieth of June Two Thousand and Fifteen, Berkley, California.

For a more casual wedding announcement, you can simply state:

> Just Married 06.22.15 Kevin & Janelle Saunders, Des Moines, IA.

Design

You can choose to send printed announcements or handwritten letters. If you opt for a printed option, consider using a design that mimics your wedding theme or colour scheme. You can also include photos from your wedding day or engagement shoot to make the announcement more personal.

Newspaper Announcements

Newspaper wedding announcements are another traditional way to spread the news of your marriage. Contact your local newspaper or the newspaper in your hometown to inquire about submission requirements and fees. Typically, you will need to provide both partners' full names, ages, occupations, hometowns, parents' names and occupations, grandparents' names, schools attended, the location and date of the ceremony, the name of the officiant, attendants' names, and a description of the wedding dress and bouquet (if desired).

Social Media

While it is not recommended to announce your wedding solely via social media, it can be a great way to share your news with extended networks after you have sent formal announcements to close family and friends. You can post a few photographs along with a short announcement text.

Remember, the key is to share your happiness with those who couldn't be a part of your special day without expecting gifts or imposing any obligations on the recipients of your announcements.

Frequently asked questions