The Perfect Wedding Invitation: Envelope Etiquette

Wedding invitations are an exciting part of the wedding planning process, but assembling them can be a little tricky. Traditionally, wedding invitations are sent out in two envelopes, an inner and an outer envelope, but it is becoming more common to send them in just one outer envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the recipient(s) and includes all the information needed for delivery, while the inner envelope contains the invitation suite and the names of the invited guests. The invitation suite is assembled in size order, with the largest card, usually the invitation card, on the bottom, followed by any tissue paper or vellum, reception card, enclosure cards, and finally, the RSVP card and envelope. The fully assembled suite is then inserted into the envelope with the left edge going in first for a single card and the folded edge for a folded invitation.

How to assemble the invitation suite

Now that you've picked out your wedding invitations, it's time to assemble the invitation suite. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you get started:

Step 1: Create a clean workspace. Clear off a table and give it a good wipe down. You don't want any smudges or stains on your pristine invitations.

Step 2: Gather all the necessary pieces. This includes the invitation itself, any enclosure cards, additional envelopes, and adornments like belly bands, vellum or tissue paper overlays, ribbons, and wax seals.

Step 3: Start with the invitation. Place the invitation face up on the table. This is usually the largest card in the suite, so it makes sense to build upon it.

Step 4: Add a tissue paper or vellum overlay (optional). Traditionally, a sheet of tissue paper was used to prevent the ink from smudging. If you want to include this, place it on top of the invitation. Vellum overlays are also a popular choice and would go on top of the invitation card.

Step 5: Add the reception card. Place the reception card, if applicable, face-up on top of the invitation. This card includes the time and location of the wedding reception and any other important information such as the dress code.

Step 6: Include other enclosure cards. Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as a map, hotel accommodations, or travel information, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, start with the largest and work your way down.

Step 7: Don't forget the RSVP card. Place the RSVP envelope face down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, face up, so that the printed side is visible. Don't forget to pre-stamp the reply envelope!

Step 8: Add any finishing touches. If you're using a belly band, ribbon, or vellum wrap, assemble it now. This will help hold all the pieces together.

Step 9: Insert the suite into the envelope. If using a single envelope, insert the fully assembled invitation suite with the left edge first for a single card or folded edge first for a folded invitation. The text should be print-side up, so guests can immediately see it when they open the envelope.

Step 10: Seal the envelope. Use an envelope moistener to wet the gummed edge and seal the envelope. Place a heavy book on top to ensure it stays sealed.

Step 11: Add the return address. Apply address labels or use a rubber stamp to add the return address to each envelope.

Step 12: Mail your invitations. Before mailing, bring a fully assembled invitation to the post office to weigh and ensure you have the correct postage. Consider hand-canceling your invitations to prevent damage during mailing.

How to address the envelopes

When addressing your wedding invitation envelopes, there is specific etiquette that is generally followed. However, as social norms change, it is important to stay up to date on the latest conventions.

Outer Envelope

The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed. It should include the guest's name(s) and address. Traditionally, the man's full name is written out, with the titles of "Mr." and "Mrs." included. You can also opt to include both first names individually for a less traditional spin. This is the same for same-sex couples, simply indicate the appropriate prefix.

For married couples with different last names, simply write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the stationery. Either the man or woman can be mentioned first, or you can go in alphabetical order.

For single persons, whether male, female, or non-binary, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and then his full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and then her full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.

If you are inviting a single guest with a plus one, it is best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, simply include "and Guest" or "and guest" following the full name of the invitee.

For unmarried couples living together, the full names of each guest should be listed. It is best to open the starting line with the person you are closer to. The same goes for same-sex couples. Conversely, couples that don't live together and aren't married should receive separate invitations.

For engaged couples, you can opt for a more formal route by addressing both people as unmarried. Alternatively, you can lean into the idea of the couple being future newlyweds.

In deciding whether or not to invite an entire family, you should be sure of how specific you want your invitation to be. If you want to be general, you can simply address the envelope to the whole family or include "and children" following the names of the married couple. If you want to be specific about which family members are invited, list the names of the children (in order of birth) in separate lines.

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope is optional and is used to indicate the guests addressed by the invitation. It should only include a couple's title with their respective last names. This is the same for single guests. The inner envelope is usually more informal since you have already addressed the guests on the outer envelope.

Inner envelopes: yes or no?

The use of inner envelopes for wedding invitations is a matter of personal preference. While they are not necessary, they can serve several purposes and are considered more traditional and formal. Here are some reasons why you may choose to use or forgo inner envelopes for your wedding invitations:

Reasons to Use Inner Envelopes:

• Tradition and Formality: Using both inner and outer envelopes is traditional for formal and black-tie weddings. It sets the tone for your event and lets guests know they are in for an upscale and elegant celebration.
• Protection: Inner envelopes provide an extra layer of protection for your invitations. In the past, when mail was delivered by hand or horse and carriage, envelopes could get dirty, crumpled, torn, or bent during transit. While mail delivery systems have modernised, using two envelopes can still ensure your invitations arrive in pristine condition.
• Clarity on Guest List: Inner envelopes allow you to specify who is invited to the wedding. The outer envelope may be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. David Wilson / The Wilson Family," while the inner envelope can get more specific: "Mr. and Mrs. Wilson / David and Sarah." Including the children's names on the inner envelope indicates they are invited; omitting their names means they are not. This eliminates any potential confusion or awkward questions about who is invited.
• Personalisation: With inner envelopes, you have the option to get creative and playful when listing individual names. For example, "William Holcomb" can become "Grandpa" or "Papa B."

Reasons to Forgo Inner Envelopes:

• Simplicity and Sustainability: Many couples today choose to forgo inner envelopes to simplify the invitation process and reduce paper waste. Using a single outer envelope is more sustainable and cost-effective while still allowing you to convey important information to your guests.
• Modernisation of Mail Systems: With the modernisation of mail delivery, the risk of envelopes getting damaged during transit has decreased significantly. Automated readers and sorting systems in post offices handle envelopes more carefully, reducing the need for the extra protection that inner envelopes provided in the past.
• Time and Effort: Creating wedding invitations can be time-consuming, especially with a large guest list. Forgoing inner envelopes reduces the time and effort required for assembling and stuffing your invitations.

Ultimately, the decision to use inner envelopes or not depends on your personal preferences, the style of your wedding, and your practical considerations. If you value tradition, formality, and the added benefits of clarity and protection, inner envelopes may be a good choice. However, if you prioritise simplicity, sustainability, and modern practicality, a single outer envelope can suffice.

How much postage to use

The amount of postage you'll need for your wedding invitations depends on a few factors: weight, size, and thickness.

Most wedding invitations are either less than an ounce or more than an ounce. When a letter is one ounce or under, it requires a "forever" stamp, which is $0.55 each. When a letter has multiple pieces, it will usually be between one and two ounces, and will automatically require a $0.70 stamp.

Square envelopes are considered irregular and will require additional postage. Square envelopes will cost about $0.20 extra per invitation for the first ounce.

If your envelope is thicker than 1/4" at its thickest point, it may also require additional postage. Embellishments such as a ribbon, twine, or a wax seal can also increase thickness.

To be sure you have the correct postage, it is recommended that you take a sample invitation to the post office to be weighed.

When to send the invitations

The timing of sending out your wedding invitations is crucial, as it impacts not just your schedule, but also that of your guests. It is important to give your guests ample time to respond and make any necessary travel arrangements.

In general, it is recommended that wedding invitations be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This is considered the "sweet spot" as it gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements, without being too early that they might forget or lose the invitation.

However, there are some circumstances where it may be appropriate to send out invitations earlier. If you are having a destination wedding or a wedding during a busy holiday season, it is courteous to send out invitations 10-12 weeks in advance. This will allow guests ample time to plan their travel and accommodations.

Additionally, if you have a large number of out-of-town guests, it is recommended to send out invitations at least eight weeks in advance, if not earlier. This will give them enough time to request time off from work, secure accommodations, and make travel arrangements.

On the other hand, you don't want to send out your invitations too early. While it's common to send out save-the-date cards six to twelve months in advance, sending out formal invitations more than four months early risks guests forgetting the date or losing the invitation.

Therefore, the ideal timeframe for sending out wedding invitations is typically considered to be two to three months before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to respond and make arrangements without being too early or too late.

Frequently asked questions