Inviting College-Aged Children To Your Wedding: A Guide

When it comes to weddings, there are many factors to consider when creating your guest list. One of the most debated topics is whether or not to invite children, including college-aged ones. While some people view children at weddings as a fun addition, others may see them as a distraction. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple getting married and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. In this article, we will explore the various considerations for inviting college-aged children to your wedding, including the benefits and potential challenges. We will also discuss the etiquette around inviting adult children who may still be financially dependent on their parents, offering guidance on navigating this sensitive topic gracefully.

Inviting college students vs. sending a family invite

When it comes to inviting college-aged children to your wedding, there are a few considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is essential to respect their autonomy and independence. While they may still be financially dependent on their parents, college students are legal adults who are capable of making their own decisions. Therefore, it is generally advisable to send them separate invitations, even if they are still living at home. This acknowledges their maturity and shows that you respect them as individuals.

However, there are some practicalities to consider when inviting college students to your wedding. For example, if they are living in a dorm, the mailing address may change frequently, and there is a risk that they may not receive the invitation. In such cases, it may be more reliable to send the invitation to their parents' address, especially if the students maintain regular contact with their parents. Additionally, college students may be less reliable when it comes to RSVPing, as they may have busy schedules or other priorities.

Another option is to send a family invite, including the names of the college-aged children, to their parents' address. This approach ensures that the entire family is invited and avoids the need for multiple invitations to the same address. However, this may give the impression that the college students are still children and may not be appropriate if they have already established their independence. It is also important to consider the preferences of the college students themselves. Some may appreciate being treated as adults and receiving their own invitations, while others may find it more convenient to have the invitation sent to their parents' address.

Ultimately, the decision to invite college students vs. sending a family invite depends on various factors, including the students' living situation, the practicality of sending separate invitations, and the students' level of independence. It is also worth considering the potential impact on gift-giving, as inviting college students individually may be perceived as a gift grab by some. Open communication is essential, and it may be helpful to reach out to the college-aged individuals directly to determine their preferences and ensure that they receive the invitation.

Addressing envelopes

When it comes to addressing envelopes for wedding invitations, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to establish the formality of your wedding. For a black-tie affair, a traditional and elegant addressing style is typically preferred, while a more casual approach may be taken for a laid-back country wedding.

• If the college-aged children are living away from their parents, it is generally considered respectful to send them separate invitations, even if they are still financially dependent on their parents. This acknowledges their autonomy as adults.
• In the case of college-aged children living at home, there are differing opinions. Some suggest sending a single invitation addressed to the entire family, which can be more convenient and cost-effective. Others argue that individuals over 18 should receive their own invitations, even if they live at the same address, to treat them as adults.
• If you choose to send separate invitations to college-aged children living at home, you may want to reach out to them directly via social media or phone to obtain their preferred address, be it their family home or their dorm address.
• When addressing envelopes, use formal names and avoid nicknames. Middle names are not necessary, but if included, they should be spelled out in full rather than abbreviated.
• For unmarried couples living together, the names should be written on separate lines without the word "and." On the inner envelope, both can be addressed by their titles and last names.
• For children under 18, their names should be listed on the inner envelope below their parents' names. Boys under 13 can be addressed as "Master," while girls and young women under 18 can be addressed as "Miss."
• If you are inviting a family with children over 18, each child should receive their own invitation unless they live at home with their parents.
• In terms of etiquette, it is generally not considered to be in good taste to address an envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family." Instead, list the names of those invited on the inner envelope or send separate invitations to those over 18.
• Formal Addressing: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, 123 Main Street, City, State, Zip Code

Inner Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

Informal Addressing: Anthony and Sara James, 123 Main Street, City, State, Zip Code

Inner Envelope: Anthony and Sara James, Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly

Remember to give yourself enough time to finalize your guest list and address the envelopes accurately, ensuring that your guests feel welcome and respected.

Calling guests with children

Make a Clear Decision

Before reaching out to your guests, decide whether your wedding will be "family-friendly" or "adults-only." This decision should be made early on, as it will impact your guest list, budget, and overall wedding plans. Consider the number of children in your guest list, their ages, and whether you want to accommodate their needs. If you have close family members with children, it may be challenging to implement a strict "no-kids" rule. A compromise could be to invite only specific children, such as those within your families or in the wedding party.

Communicate Your Expectations

Once you've made a decision, clearly communicate your policy on children to your guests. You can include this information in your wedding invitations or create a dedicated page on your wedding website. Be transparent about whether children are invited, and if so, which specific children are included. Explain your guest limit and emphasize that parents are responsible for their children's care during the event.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your invitations, follow proper etiquette. If a child is over 18, they should receive a separate invitation, even if they still live at home. For younger children, the traditional way to indicate their invitation is to include their names on the invitation, either on the inner envelope or the outer envelope if there is only one. Avoid vague wording such as "and family." If you're inviting multiple children from the same family, consider sending individual invitations to each child to make them feel valued.

Make Personal Contact

After sending your invitations, take the time to call your friends and family members with children. This personal touch will help clarify your intentions and show your willingness to accommodate their needs. Explain whether your wedding is child-friendly and provide reassurance about childcare arrangements if applicable. This approach is especially effective if you have concerns about guests bringing children against your wishes.

Plan for Child Entertainment

If you decide to include children in your wedding, consider ways to keep them occupied and entertained. Provide a separate kids' table with colouring books, puzzles, or other quiet activities. You can also hire childcare providers or entertainers, such as magicians or puppeteers, to engage the children. Offer kid-friendly snacks and meals, and if possible, designate a separate room for children with childcare so that parents can enjoy some adult time.

Remember, the key to successfully navigating this situation is clear and timely communication. By calling your guests with children, you can ensure that everyone is on the same page and avoid any misunderstandings. Happy planning!

Inviting some children, not others

When it comes to inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is generally considered rude to invite some children and not others, as this can create a sense of favouritism and cause hurt feelings among guests. However, there are exceptions to this rule that can help you navigate this tricky situation.

One approach is to only invite children who are part of the wedding party, such as flower girls or ring bearers, and their siblings. This is a clear and understandable distinction that most guests will accept. Another option is to set an age limit, such as only inviting children under a certain age, which can help to limit the number of children without appearing to play favourites. If you have a large number of children in your family or close friends, you may also consider inviting only those who are related to you, as it is generally acceptable to limit children to family members only.

When it comes to college-aged children, the etiquette can be a bit tricky. On one hand, they are legally adults and should be treated as such, with their own invitations and the option to bring a plus one. On the other hand, some parents may still view them as children and prefer to have them included on the family invitation. In this case, it is best to reach out to the college-aged individuals directly and ask for their preference. This way, you can respect their wishes and avoid any potential misunderstandings.

Remember, it is your wedding, and ultimately the decision is up to you and your partner. Be considerate of your guests, but don't be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them. Open communication is key to avoiding any confusion or hurt feelings.

Seating arrangements

When it comes to seating arrangements, there are a few options to consider. One popular option is to have a designated kids' table for children aged 8 and above. This gives them a sense of independence and allows their parents to have uninterrupted time to chat with other adults. If you choose this option, it is a good idea to have some hired help to supervise and encourage good behaviour. Another idea is to seat families with similarly aged children together. This way, kids can sit with their parents but also be entertained by their friends.

For younger children, it is recommended to seat them with their parents or in a separate room with childcare provided. Children under 7 are more likely to want to be near their parents and may not sit still for long if they are within eyesight and earshot. If you want children to be in the same room as adults, you can designate an area off to the side with mini-tables, small buffets, and kid-friendly décor, such as colouring books and crayons.

Ultimately, the decision of where to seat college-aged children is up to you and what you think will work best for your wedding. You may choose to ask the children themselves or their parents for their preferences.

Frequently asked questions