Writing Your Wedding Vows: A Step-By-Step Guide To Crafting Your Perfect Promises

Writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it's also a tremendous opportunity to express your love and hopes in front of your friends and family. Here are some tips to help you get started on writing your own unique and heartfelt wedding vows.

Start with a Discussion:

It's important to first discuss with your partner whether you both want to write your own vows. This ensures that you're on the same page and can set some guidelines and expectations. Decide on the length, tone, format, and level of personalization for your vows.

Brainstorm and Outline:

Begin by reflecting on your relationship and doing a brain dump of memories, traits you admire in your partner, and what your relationship means to you. Think about the promises you want to make and how you envision your future together. Outline your vows by including an introduction, admiration for your partner, a vision for the future, stories or anecdotes, solid promises, and a conclusion.

Write and Edit:

Take your time with the writing process. Condense your memories, love, and hopes into a concise and meaningful vow. You might want to include a favourite lyric, poem, or a reference from a movie that resonates with you. Edit your draft by removing any excess, adding transitions, and ensuring it flows well. Read your vows out loud to get a sense of their rhythm and make any necessary adjustments.

Practice and Finalize:

Don't try to memorize your vows, but do practice reading them out loud, focusing on your speed and tone. Write them down in a vow booklet so you can make eye contact with your partner during the ceremony.

Remember, your wedding vows are a declaration of your love and commitment to your future spouse. They should reflect who you are and what's important to you as a couple. So, take your time, be authentic, and don't be afraid to infuse them with your own personality.

Express your affection

Expressing your affection is a crucial part of your wedding vows. Here are some ideas to help you craft this section:

Voice Admiration

It's now time to get a little sappy and publicly express your love for your partner. Gush about them and tell them how much they mean to you. You can talk about how they make you feel and what you admire about them. Be specific and share the things you love about their personality, their actions, and how they make you a better person.

Share Personal Stories

Recount romantic stories and anecdotes about your relationship. Talk about how you met, a funny story from your first date, or a challenging time you overcame together. These stories will make your vows more interesting and engaging for your guests. It adds a personal touch and helps everyone understand your unique love story.

Make Promises

Your vows are not just cute anecdotes but also a lifelong commitment. Make solid promises that reflect your love and dedication. Voice the commitments you intend to keep throughout your marriage, both during the good times and the bad. These promises can be lighthearted or more serious, depending on your style.

Reaffirm Your Unwavering Support

Most wedding vows touch on the idea of standing by each other through thick and thin. Let your partner know that you will be there for them no matter what life throws your way. You can also include a line about getting through the challenging times together and supporting each other unconditionally.

Express Your Love

Don't forget to say those three powerful words: "I love you." Whether you start or end your vows with this sentiment, make sure to include it somewhere. It's a simple yet powerful expression of your affection.

Cast a vision for the future

Casting a vision for the future is an important aspect of wedding vows. This is where you paint a picture of the life you want to build with your partner and the kind of home you want to create together. It is a great way to start your new life stage with your partner.

• "I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honor, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together."
• "I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and a shoulder to lean on when life is too much to bear on your own."
• "I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days."
• "I promise to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side—for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day."
• "I promise to be your best friend and your husband. I promise you myself completely."
• "I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day."
• "I promise to be a faithful, devoted, and loving husband for all the days of our lives."
• "I promise to always put you first, even during football season."
• "I promise to never keep score, even when I'm clearly winning."
• "I promise to continue to make your friends jealous of our amazing relationship."
• "I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair."
• "I promise to take your hand when it's too dark, and the dog out when it's too early."
• "I promise to love you for eternity and to trust you with my credit card."
• "I promise to always be your good thing, with love in my heart, always by your side, to my last breath. I love you."
• "I promise to be your protector and confidante, responsible for making sure your every need is met, every want is reached, and every dream realized."
• "I promise to be patient and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to nurture your dreams and to help you reach them."
• "I promise to love you when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort."
• "I promise to love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God's grace, trusting in him, so long as we both shall live."
• "I promise to be your friend and partner every step of the way. I will be there for you, day or night, in richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I trust, appreciate, cherish, and respect you. I promise to share with you my hopes and dreams as we build our lives together. You, my love, are my everything."
• "I promise to be your sidekick in all of life's adventures. I promise to be your best friend and your husband. I promise you myself completely."

Include stories

Sharing stories and anecdotes in your wedding vows is a great way to add a personal touch to your special day. Here are some tips for how to do this effectively:

Choose Meaningful Stories

Pick stories that illustrate your partnership and that your wedding guests will be able to resonate with, even if they weren't there when the events of the story first took place. Avoid anything too personal or embarrassing—you want your guests to be able to follow along and feel included in the moment.

Include Romantic Details

Share romantic details about how you knew your significant other was "the one", or recount a humorous account of how your first date went horribly wrong. You can also include inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times together.

Make it Relatable

While your wedding vows should be personal, try to avoid inside jokes or very specific references that only you and your partner will understand. You want your guests to feel invested in your story and included in the moment.

Keep it Concise

Your wedding vows should be around two to three minutes long, or 250-300 words. This length allows for some personalization without going overboard. If you have more to say, consider giving your spouse a letter on the morning of the ceremony.

Practice Delivery

Don't forget to practice reading your vows out loud before the big day. This will help you refine the tone and pace of your delivery, and ensure that your guests can hear and understand your words.

Make solid promises

Making solid promises is an essential part of writing your wedding vows. While it's tempting to focus on your love and admiration for your partner, it's also important to outline the commitments you want to stick to for the rest of your life. Here are some tips and examples to help you make solid promises for your wedding vows:

Tips for Making Solid Promises:

• Include three to six promises: This keeps your vows concise and ensures each promise has impact and emotional significance.
• Be concise and specific: Choose promises that are unique to your relationship and that reflect your personality.
• Include serious and playful promises: Even if you're aiming for funny vows, include at least two serious promises to ground your vows and represent your marriage through all its seasons.
• Think about what kind of partner you want to be: Consider how you want your future spouse to feel, and turn that into a promise.
• Address common arguments or challenges: For example, if you're always running late for events, you could promise to "do your best to not always be late."

Examples of Solid Promises:

• "I promise to trust and respect you."
• "I promise to laugh at your jokes, even the ones that are only kind of funny."
• "I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me."
• "I promise to always put God first in our marriage."
• "I promise to be honest and faithful."
• "I promise to always put our love first."
• "I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone."
• "I promise to chase your dreams alongside you."
• "I promise to create a home where we will become our own family."
• "I promise to build a happy and loving home with you."
• "I promise you my whole heart for my entire life."
• "I promise to travel the world with you."
• "I promise to watch your favourite reality TV shows with you."
• "I promise to not just say 'I love you' but to show you every day."
• "I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily."
• "I promise to never forget how we began and to let that loving feeling carry us through to our very end."
• "I promise you all of me, forever."

Conclude with a wrap-up

Now that you've written your wedding vows, it's time to conclude with a wrap-up. This is your chance to neatly tie everything together and leave a lasting impression. Here are some tips to help you craft a meaningful and impactful conclusion:

• Reiterate Key Points: Begin by briefly summarising the most important parts of your vows. Highlight the promises, memories, or anecdotes that you want your partner and the audience to remember. This will reinforce the significance of your message.
• Connect with Your Partner: Direct your words towards your partner. Speak from the heart and express your deepest emotions. Share what's in your soul and don't hold back. This is your opportunity to be vulnerable and authentic.
• Look to the Future: Conclude your vows by painting a picture of your future together. Share your hopes, dreams, and aspirations for your life as a married couple. This will not only inspire and uplift your partner but also signify your commitment to building a future together.
• End with a Declaration of Love: Finish your vows with a heartfelt expression of your love. This can be as simple as saying, "I love you," or you can get creative and use unique phrases that reflect your personality. Either way, make sure your partner knows the depth of your love.
• Keep it Short and Sweet: While your conclusion should be meaningful, try to keep it concise. You don't want to ramble on for too long and lose the impact of your words. A brief and well-crafted conclusion will leave a lasting impression.
• Practice and Edit: Once you've written your conclusion, take the time to practice reading it aloud. This will help you refine your delivery and ensure your words flow smoothly. Don't be afraid to edit and make changes as needed. Remember, your vows are a work in progress until you're completely happy with them.

Here's an example of how you can conclude your wedding vows:

"My dearest [Partner's Name], as I stand here today, my heart is filled with love and gratitude for you. I am honoured to be your partner in life and I cherish the journey we've shared together. I promise to love and support you through all of life's adventures. Our future is bright, and I can't wait to build a life filled with joy, laughter, and endless love together. And finally, I want you to know that my love for you is eternal. It was love that brought us together, and it is love that will carry us forward. I love you, today, tomorrow, and forever."

Frequently asked questions