Composing A Christian Wedding Ceremony: A Guide To Writing Your Own Vows And Traditions

A Christian wedding program should include the names of the couple, the date and location of the ceremony, a brief welcome message, an outline of the ceremony proceedings, and the names of those participating in the ceremony.

The program can be a single card, a folded booklet, or something more creative, like a program fan for an outdoor ceremony. It should match the design of the wedding invitation and other paper goods for a cohesive look.

Welcome to our wedding celebration! We are [names of the couple] and we are delighted to have you here today as we exchange our vows and begin our new life together. Today, we will be joined in holy matrimony and commit our lives to one another in the presence of God, our family, and friends. We hope you will enjoy this special day with us as we celebrate the start of our married life.

The Processional: The order of the wedding party's entrance

The processional is one of the most memorable moments of a Christian wedding ceremony. Here is a detailed description of the order of the wedding party's entrance:

The Processional

The mother of the bride's entrance signals the beginning of the processional. The mother of the bride is traditionally escorted by a close male relative, like a son or brother, or a groomsman. She takes her seat to the left of the aisle in the first row.

The Groom's Entrance

After the mother of the bride is seated, the groom will traditionally take his place at the head of the altar, either entering from the side of the venue or walking down the aisle solo. However, many couples choose to have the groom escorted by his parents down the aisle, and they will then sit to the right of the aisle in the front row.

The Groomsmen

The best man either walks in from the side and takes his place at the altar next to the groom or walks in as the last groomsman. The groomsmen open the processional as they walk down the aisle one by one.

The Bridesmaids

The bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one before the maid or matron of honor. Some couples may choose to have the groomsmen and bridesmaids walk in together in pairs.

The Maid or Matron of Honor

Before the ceremony, the maid or matron of honor assists the bride with her dress, veil, and train. They then stand by the bride's side at the altar and may hold the groom's ring.

The Flower Girl(s) and Ring Bearer(s)

The ring bearer and flower girl precede the bride down the aisle. Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the wedding rings, or decoys if they are too young, tied to a small pillow. The flower girl may carry a basket of petals, which she scatters as she walks, or a posy of flowers. After the procession, the children are done and can be seated with their parents.

The Bride and Father of the Bride

The bride's father traditionally escorts the bride down the aisle, standing to her right. After the father of the bride gives his blessing, he lifts the veil, kisses the bride, and takes his seat beside the bride's mother.

Presentation of the Bride: The father's symbolic giving away of his daughter

The presentation of the bride is a brief moment shared between the father or parent of the bride and the couple before she steps onto the altar. As the head of their household, an unwed woman is under the covering and protection of her father. When a couple enters into marriage, the father's headship over his daughter passes to her husband.

In ancient times, it was common for female children to have arranged marriages or be purchased by their future groom. The root word "wedd" is Anglo-Saxon and means a "pledge" or "vow". This referred to the groom vowing to marry the woman or the barter money or trade agreement with the bride's father for his daughter. The actual word "wedding" refers to a "wager". Therefore, the bride's father would set up a type of contract with the groom to barter for land, social status, or political reputation.

A female child in those days was known to be the property of her father, and so the transfer of "ownership" to her groom on her wedding day was a legality. The tradition of "giving away" would signify that the bride's family would no longer have control over her or her possessions (dowry) and that her husband would take on the responsibilities and obligations that her father once held.

The tradition of taking his hand and placing the groom's hand on the bride's is symbolic of the "passing" of his property or duty. In modern times, the mother is often more involved, and in some situations, the parents are asked together by the officiant who gives the bride away.

> Clergy/Officiant: "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

>

> Parental Response: "I do", "We do" or "Her mother and I do."

>

> Clergy/Officiant: "Who presents this woman to be married to this man?"

>

> Parental Response: "Her mother and I, with hearts full of love, bless this marriage. We ask that you care for her and love her unconditionally, as we have."

In modern times, the father giving away his daughter is a show of love and support. The act symbolises a seamless joining of two families and forms a bridge between an old life and a new life.

There are many ways to adapt this tradition to make it a meaningful exercise for the couple and their loved ones. Brides can still opt to walk down the aisle with their father, or they can have both parents join them. Sometimes the bride walks solo to demonstrate that marrying her partner is her choice. Some partners walk down the aisle together, showing their solidarity and commitment.

Homily: A personalised sermon, anecdotes and Bible scripture

The homily is a personalised sermon, often including anecdotes and Bible scripture, that is tailored to the couple. It is a good opportunity to offer insights into their relationship and their path to marriage.

For instance, you could begin by welcoming the couple and expressing your delight in being able to share their happiness on their wedding day. You could also acknowledge the joy this day will bring to other married couples, as it reminds them of their own weddings and their commitment to each other.

You could then move on to discuss the two self-givings of love that are taking place: God giving himself to us, and the couple giving themselves to each other. This is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the deeper meaning of what is happening during the ceremony. You can talk about how, through the power of Jesus' sacrifice, the couple's marriage will become a sacrament.

You could then offer some advice to the couple on how to foster and nourish the grace they will receive through this sacrament. For example, you could suggest that they make Jesus a part of every day and that they seek his grace during difficult times in their marriage. You could also discuss the importance of forgiveness and how their marriage can be a path to holiness.

You could also reflect on the readings chosen by the couple and explain how they relate to marriage and the couple's journey ahead. For instance, you could discuss the idea of love as a commitment and a sacrifice, mirroring Christ's love for the Church.

Finally, you could offer a prayer for the couple, asking God to bless their marriage and to help them live out their vows faithfully.

Exchanging of Vows: The couple's mutual promises, led by the officiant

The exchanging of vows is the most sacred part of a Christian wedding ceremony. Led by the officiant, the couple will make mutual promises to one another to uphold the sanctity of their marriage.

The officiant will either ask each member of the couple to repeat the vows after them, or the couple will respond with "I do" after the officiant completes a reading of the vows.

The traditional Christian wedding vows are as follows:

Officiant (addressing the groom):

> I take you, [bride's name], to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.

Officiant (addressing the bride):

> I take you, [groom's name], to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.

Couples may choose to follow this with personalised vows, in which they make more specific promises to each other beyond the traditional ones offered by the officiant.

Community Vows

The exchanging of vows may be followed by "community vows", in which the officiant asks the guests to pledge their support to the couple in upholding their vows. The officiant will ask the guests to respond communally with "we do" after the reading of the community vows.

Unity Ceremony: A symbolic joining of two families, e.g. lighting a unity candle

Unity ceremonies are a wonderful way to symbolise the joining of two families and individuals. The unity candle ceremony is a romantic and powerful visual representation of the couple's union.

The Ceremony

The unity candle ceremony involves two taper candles and one larger pillar candle. The smaller candles represent the couple's individuality and their respective families, while the larger candle symbolises their union and the merging of their two families. The couple lights the larger candle together using the smaller candles, signifying their commitment to each other and the blending of their families.

The Set-Up

The unity candle ceremony usually takes place on a table or stand, decorated with flowers, crystals, photos, or other meaningful items. The table should be placed in a spot that is easily accessible to the couple, and the candles should be placed on either end of the table within easy reach.

The Participants

The unity candle ceremony can be made even more meaningful by including other family members, such as the mothers of the couple, who can light the taper candles before the couple lights the unity candle. Alternatively, the couple can choose to have their wedding party, or all their guests, participate in the candle-lighting ceremony, creating a sense of unity not just between the couple but also with their loved ones.

The Timing

The unity candle ceremony usually takes place after the couple has exchanged their vows and rings. The ceremony can be accompanied by music or a meaningful poem or passage recited by the couple or their guests.

The Symbolism

The unity candle ceremony is a romantic gesture that symbolises the couple's union and their commitment to each other. For Christians, the candle's flame can represent the Holy Spirit and Jesus, the Light of the World. The ceremony is a profound way for the couple to express their love and commitment before God and their community.

The Cost

The cost of a unity candle kit can vary, but it typically ranges from £15-£60 ($20-$75). Couples can choose to personalise their candles with engravings, family trees, or colours that match their wedding theme.

Frequently asked questions