Best Man, Best Dad: A Wedding Role Switch-Up

Asking your dad to be your best man is a topic that has sparked debate. Some people believe it is an honour for dads to be their child's best man, while others believe it is unconventional and tacky. However, the decision is ultimately up to the groom. There are pros and cons to having your dad as your best man. For example, dads are older and can command authority and respect from the wedding party, but they may not be on the same page with regards to bachelor parties or silly moments.

It's an honour for the father

Having your dad as the best man at your wedding is absolutely an option. It is your wedding, and you can choose anyone you want to be your best man. It is an honour for the father, and many people consider it a great honour for their father to be their best man. It is a wonderful way to incorporate your dad into your big day, especially if you have a close relationship with him.

There are many benefits to having your dad as your best man. Firstly, since dads are naturally older, this can command authority and respect from your wedding party. This means that if they ask the wedding party to do something, they are more likely to listen and follow through. You will have a built-in ringleader for the group when you choose your dad, which can be very helpful in ensuring your day goes smoothly.

Another benefit is that no one knows you better than your parents. They know your feelings, how to make you laugh, and can read your emotions. They will be able to offer you the best support in the lead-up to and on the big day itself.

However, there are also some considerations to keep in mind. For example, the processional and recessional during the wedding ceremony may need to be adjusted to accommodate the father's role. Additionally, the age difference between your dad and the other groomsmen may lead to a lack of cohesion within the wedding party. They may not be on the same page regarding attire, bachelor/bachelorette parties, or silly moments while getting ready.

Furthermore, it is important to consider the additional responsibilities that will be placed on your dad's shoulders. They will already have duties as the father of the groom, and adding the role of best man may create a hectic situation.

While it is an honour to have your dad as your best man, it is crucial to ensure that he is comfortable with the role and that it aligns with your wedding dynamics. Ultimately, the decision should be based on your relationship with your dad and what matters most to you on your special day.

The father will command authority and respect

The father of the groom will naturally command authority and respect from the wedding party. This is a benefit of having your dad as the best man. Jamie Chang, owner and destination wedding planner of Mango Muse Events, says that because dads are older, they will be respected by the wedding party. This means that if they ask the wedding party to do something, they will do it, making your life much easier on the wedding day.

Chang also notes that the father will act as a "built-in ringleader" for the group, which can be helpful. This is especially true if the groom does not have many close friends or a large social circle. In this case, the father of the groom can take on the role of best man and help to lead the wedding party.

The father of the groom will also have a unique perspective when it comes to the best man's speech. Chang suggests that a father can combine a roast of the groom, speaking to his past and childhood, with sharing some wisdom and wishes for the couple. This can make the father's toast full of humour and heartwarming moments, and much more than just a traditional best man's speech.

While the age difference can be a benefit, it can also be a con, particularly if the wedding party is made up of much younger people. The father may not be on the same page with regards to the bachelor party, attire, or silly moments getting ready. The vibe may not be cohesive, which can be awkward for the father, the groom, and the rest of the wedding party.

However, if the father has a good relationship with the wedding party, this may not be an issue. He may get along just fine and be able to keep on top of his best man duties and father of the groom responsibilities, ultimately creating less stress and coordination for the groom.

The father will be able to keep the wedding party in line

Having a father as the best man can be beneficial in many ways. One of the biggest advantages is that the father will be able to keep the wedding party in line. Since dads are naturally older, that commands authority and respect from the wedding party. This means that if they ask the wedding party to do something, they will listen and follow through.

The father of the groom will be able to act as a ringleader for the group, making the lives of the couple-to-be much easier. His age and wisdom will allow him to effectively coordinate and manage the wedding party, ensuring that everyone is on the same page and that things run smoothly.

The father will be able to provide guidance and direction to the wedding party, especially if they are younger and less experienced. He can help to resolve any conflicts or issues that may arise and keep everyone focused on their tasks and responsibilities.

Additionally, the father's presence can also contribute to a more mature and respectful atmosphere within the wedding party. His life experience and perspective can help to create a calm and organised environment, ensuring that the wedding day proceeds without any major hiccups.

While the age difference may present some challenges in terms of dynamics and shared interests, the father's ability to maintain order and ensure cooperation from the wedding party is a significant advantage of having him as the best man.

The father may not be on the same page regarding attire and parties

While having your dad as the best man at your wedding can be a great way to honour him and make him feel special, there are some considerations to keep in mind, especially when it comes to attire and parties.

The age difference between a father and the rest of the wedding party can create a disconnect when it comes to bachelor/bachelorette parties, attire choices, and lighthearted moments during preparation. While some fathers may be open to participating in these activities, others may feel uncomfortable or out of place. It is essential to discuss these aspects with your father beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page and feels included.

For example, the bachelor party is typically an opportunity for the groom and his friends to let loose and engage in wild celebrations. However, this may not be an event your father would feel comfortable attending, especially if there is a significant age gap between him and the other attendees. In such cases, it may be advisable to plan separate events or opt for a more low-key celebration that aligns with your father's preferences and comfort level.

Additionally, the wedding attire chosen for the best man might not align with what your father feels comfortable wearing. It is important to consider his preferences and ensure that he feels respected and valued for his role in the wedding. Discussing attire choices with him beforehand can help ensure that he feels included and that his opinions are considered.

Furthermore, the dynamics during the preparation for the wedding may differ between your father and the rest of the wedding party. While the groomsmen may engage in playful banter and inside jokes, your father might not feel included or comfortable with the same level of familiarity. It is essential to foster an inclusive environment and encourage open communication to ensure that everyone feels valued and respected.

In conclusion, while having your father as the best man can be a wonderful way to honour him, it is important to consider the potential differences in expectations and comfort levels regarding attire and parties. Open communication and a willingness to accommodate each other's needs are key to ensuring that everyone feels valued and respected during this special time.

The father will have other responsibilities on the day

The father of the groom will have several other responsibilities on the day of the wedding, aside from being the best man. Here are some things to consider and roles he can play:

Processional and Recessional

The father can walk down the aisle with the mother of the groom or another family member. This is something to think about, especially if the rest of the wedding party and parents are walking down the aisle. It is not a requirement, but it can add a special touch to the ceremony.

Speeches

The father of the groom traditionally gives a speech at the wedding reception. If he is also the best man, he can combine the best man's speech with his father-of-the-groom speech or ask another family member or friend to give a speech. As the father, his speech can include a roast, speaking to the son's past and childhood, as well as sharing wisdom and wishes for the newlyweds.

Mingling with Guests

The father will likely want to spend time with his guests during the wedding reception. He can introduce the couple to his friends and family, ensuring they feel welcomed and included in the celebration.

Father-Son Dance

In some wedding traditions, the father of the groom can share a special father-son dance with his son during the reception. This can be a heartfelt moment for both father and son, creating a lasting memory.

Support and Honesty

Throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself, the father can provide unwavering support and honesty. He knows his son better than anyone and can offer genuine advice and guidance when needed.

It is important to note that while having the father of the groom as the best man can be a unique and meaningful choice, it may also add to his responsibilities and busy schedule on the wedding day. It is essential to consider the dynamics and relationships within the wedding party and ensure that everyone is comfortable and happy with their roles.

Frequently asked questions