Coed Wedding Shower Conundrum: Finding The Perfect Guest List Balance

A co-ed wedding shower, also known as a couple's shower, is a more modern and inclusive take on the traditional bridal shower. It is a pre-wedding party that includes both the couple and their loved ones, with gifts that help the couple start their new life together. The guest list typically includes close family and friends and can be as big or small as the couple wants, though it usually comprises around 30 guests. It is important to note that anyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. The couple's shower tends to be more laid-back and casual, with a variety of themes, games, and food options to choose from.

Guest list: Include the wedding party, close family and friends

A co-ed wedding shower is a great way to celebrate with a diverse group of friends and family. It's an opportunity to bring everyone together and can be as big or small as you like. The guest list is typically made up of the wedding party, close family, and friends. This includes the couple's parents, siblings, grandparents, and wedding party. It is also common to invite close friends of the family or couple.

The beauty of a co-ed shower is that you can make it as inclusive as you like. If you want to keep it intimate, you can limit the guest list to those closest to the couple. However, if you're looking to host a larger celebration, you can include extended family members, friends, and even give guests the option to bring a plus-one. Just remember that a larger guest list will likely result in a higher cost, as you'll need to accommodate more people with food, drinks, and venue space.

When creating your guest list, it's important to ensure that everyone you invite to the shower is also invited to the wedding. This is a general rule of thumb for wedding etiquette and will help avoid any awkward situations. It's also a good idea to run your guest list by the couple to make sure no one is accidentally left out.

Keep in mind that a co-ed shower will likely result in a longer guest list compared to a traditional bridal shower, especially if you choose to invite both sides of the wedding party. This may impact your venue choice, as you'll need a space that can comfortably accommodate all your guests.

Whether you're planning an intimate gathering or a grand celebration, a co-ed wedding shower is a wonderful way to honour the couple and bring their loved ones together before the big day.

Venue: Choose a space that suits the couple, like a backyard BBQ or a country club

When it comes to choosing a venue for a co-ed wedding shower, the world is your oyster! The most important thing is to select a space that suits the happy couple. From backyards to country clubs, restaurants to breweries, the options are endless.

If you or a friend have a large enough backyard, a backyard barbecue is a perfect option for a laid-back, casual wedding shower. You can cook up a storm on the barbecue, with burgers, sausages, and ribs, and create a relaxed, fun atmosphere. This is a great way to keep costs down, too, as you won't need to rent a venue.

For a more formal affair, a country club or golf club is a great option. These venues often have large event spaces, perfect for a bigger guest list, and can offer a swanky, elegant setting for the celebration.

Restaurants are another popular choice for wedding showers. This option is a little more expensive, but it takes the pressure off when it comes to organizing food and drinks. You can choose from a variety of cuisines to suit the couple's tastes, from Italian to international, and many restaurants will have private dining rooms available for hire.

If you're looking for something a little more unique, why not try a brewery? Wedding showers are often held outside the home to allow for more fun and creative venue choices. A brewery offers a cool, industrial setting and is a great option if the couple enjoys craft beer.

When selecting a venue, it's important to consider your budget, the number of guests, and the couple's preferences. The venue should reflect their personalities and create an atmosphere that everyone will enjoy.

Timing: Host the shower one to three months before the wedding

A couple's shower is usually held one to three months before the wedding. This timing is ideal as it gives the couple enough time to prepare for the wedding while also allowing them to celebrate with their loved ones before the big day. It's also a great opportunity for guests to meet and get to know each other, especially if they are coming from different circles or locations.

When planning the shower, consider hosting it on a weekend, either during the day or in the evening. The event should last for at least two hours and can go up to four hours. An evening couple's shower can be centred around a seated dinner or cocktail hour, creating a more intimate and relaxed atmosphere.

To ensure the couple's availability and make the event extra special, confirm the date with them before finalising the plans. This will also give them something fun to look forward to amidst all the wedding planning!

The couple's shower is a chance to celebrate the love and commitment of the soon-to-be newlyweds. It's a joyous occasion where friends and family can come together and create lasting memories. The timing of one to three months before the wedding provides the perfect opportunity for this celebration, creating a memorable experience for everyone involved.

Additionally, this timing allows for a smooth transition into the final stages of wedding planning. The couple can focus on the smaller details, finalise any outstanding tasks, and feel energised by the love and support of their friends and family, who will be eager to see the happy couple tie the knot!

So, whether it's a boozy brunch, a wine tasting, or a backyard barbecue, hosting the couple's shower one to three months before the wedding is a wonderful way to honour the couple and create a day that everyone will cherish.

Food and drink: Serve a variety of gender-neutral food and drinks

When it comes to food and drink, it's important to serve a variety of gender-neutral options that will appeal to everyone. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Choose a Theme

If the couple has a favourite type of cuisine, you can base your food and drink choices around that. For example, if they love Italian food, you could serve flatbread pizzas with various toppings, or if they enjoy experimenting with different types of cuisine, you could opt for an "around the world" theme and serve international dishes such as paella, stir fry or gnocchi.

Finger Foods

Finger foods and hors d'oeuvres are a great option for a co-ed wedding shower, as they are easy to eat and don't require a formal sit-down meal. Here are some ideas:

• Charcuterie board with cured meats, cheeses, crackers and grapes
• Sushi with soy sauce
• Grilled cheese bites and tomato soup shooters
• Fruit and cheese skewers
• Mini quiches or frittatas
• Smoked salmon bites
• Pinwheel sandwiches
• Mini tacos
• Flatbreads with various toppings
• Mini avocado sandwiches
• Dumplings

Heartier Options

If you want to serve something more substantial, consider the following:

• Sandwiches with various fillings
• Personalised charcuterie cones
• Pizza
• Lobster rolls
• Grilled foods such as burgers, hot dogs and vegetables
• Pasta dishes such as mac and cheese or pasta salad
• Soup or gazpacho

Desserts

For something sweet, you could serve:

• Vanilla bean cupcakes
• Chocolate meringue cookies
• Fruit and yogurt parfaits
• Ice cream sundae bar
• Açai or smoothie bowls

Drinks

In addition to the usual non-alcoholic beverages, you could serve:

• Classic cocktails
• Wine and beer
• Champagne punch
• Mimosas
• Bellinis
• Boozy iced coffee

Gifts: Guests can bring gifts for the couple's home or a stock-the-bar party

Gifts: Guests can bring gifts for the couples' home or a stock-the-bar party

If you're hosting a co-ed wedding shower, your guests will likely bring gifts for the couple to use in their new home together. This could include anything from kitchen appliances to home decor. A fun idea is to have a stock-the-bar-themed party, where guests bring gifts to help the couple stock their home bar. This could include liquor, bar accessories, drinkware, and cocktail recipe books. If the couple already has a well-stocked bar, guests can contribute their favourite spirits or cocktail ingredients.

For a more traditional approach, guests can bring gifts from the couple's wedding registry. This ensures that the couple receives items they truly want or need. Alternatively, guests can get creative and personalised with their gifts, such as date night dice, a plush throw blanket, or a cocktail-making kit.

If the couple is particularly fond of wine, guests can contribute to their wine collection with a variety of vintages for weeknights and special occasions. They can also gift versatile mixers, liquor for their favourite cocktails, and pretty serving platters.

For a more substantial gift, guests can band together to purchase big-ticket items such as a wine fridge or a bar cart. These gifts will not only be useful for the couple but will also enhance their entertaining capabilities.

To make the gift-giving process more efficient, guests can wrap their presents in clear paper so the couple can sneak a peek without having to open each one at the shower. This allows more time for socialising and mingling during the event.

Remember, the main rule for co-ed wedding shower gifts is that they should be inclusive of both members of the couple, reflecting their joint tastes and preferences.

Frequently asked questions