The Grand Jewish Wedding: A Celebration Of Love And Tradition

Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, with a basic outline that can be personalised to the couple. The size of the wedding can vary, but there are several key elements that are common across Jewish weddings. The wedding ceremony takes place under a chuppah, or canopy, which is open on all four sides to represent the hospitality of the couple. The chuppah is usually held up by four posts, which can be freestanding or held by friends and family. The couple exchanges vows and rings under the chuppah, with the bride and groom's parents and rabbis often standing underneath it as well. The ketubah, or marriage contract, is signed before the ceremony and read aloud during the wedding. The ceremony ends with the breaking of a glass, which symbolises the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and the fragility of human relationships. After the ceremony, the couple spends at least eight minutes in yichud, or seclusion, to reflect on their new relationship.

The Chuppah (wedding canopy)

The Chuppah, or wedding canopy, is an essential part of a Jewish wedding ceremony. The Chuppah is a covered structure that symbolises the new home that the married couple will build together. It is usually made of a square cloth, supported by four beams, and held up by four men. The cloth is often made of silk or velvet, or a tallit (prayer shawl) belonging to a member of the couple or their families.

The Chuppah is mentioned in the Bible in association with marriage: "As a bridegroom goes forth from his chuppah". In some Jewish traditions, the bride walks around the groom three or seven times under the Chuppah. This may be to symbolise the creation of a magical wall of protection from evil spirits, temptation, and the glances of other women. It can also represent the four imahot (matriarchs) and three avot (patriarchs).

The Chuppah is usually outdoors, under the stars, symbolising the hope that the couple will be blessed with a large family. It is preferable to have the Chuppah under an open sky, with the structure standing alone.

The Chuppah is a beautiful way to honour tradition while expressing the couple's personality and creating a focal point for the ceremony. It can be decorated with flowers, bold blooms, lush greenery, or unique spins on design.

The Ketubah (marriage contract)

The Ketubah, or marriage contract, is a key part of a Jewish wedding. It is a unilateral agreement drawn by witnesses in accordance with Jewish civil law, outlining the groom's responsibilities to his bride. It is not a religious document, and so it is written in Aramaic, the technical legal language of Talmudic law, rather than Hebrew. It is also not a state document, but rather an obligatory agreement for every person.

The Ketubah is a charter of the wife's rights and the husband's duties. It is designed to protect the wife and provide a framework of love. The document restates the fundamental conditions imposed by the Torah upon the husband, such as providing his wife with food, clothing, and conjugal rights. It also includes the husband's guarantees to pay a certain sum in the event of divorce, and inheritance rights in the case of his death.

The Ketubah is not a mutual agreement; the wife agrees only to accept the husband's proposal of marriage. It is not a bill of sale, and the man does not purchase the bride. Instead, it represents the witnesses, who attest to the groom's actions, promises, and statements, and the bride's willing acceptance of the proposal.

The Ketubah is a complicated document, especially for widows, converts, and divorcees, and must be filled out by a rabbi who knows Halakhah. It is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony, and then read to the guests during the wedding. It is often written as an illuminated manuscript, which is then framed and displayed in the couple's home.

The exact date when the Ketubah became a central part of the Jewish marriage ceremony is unknown. It is a rabbinic, not biblical, institution, and goes back to Talmudic times (70-500 CE). It has been used by every married couple, no matter their social status or geographical location.

While many traditionally observant Jews continue to use the original text, many liberal Jews have adapted the text to make it more gender-inclusive or to address other concerns. Some couples even compose their own text. Today, many Ketubahs are signed by both partners and at least two witnesses, regardless of gender.

The Aufruf (pre-wedding blessing)

The Aufruf is a pre-wedding blessing and ceremony that takes place on the morning of the wedding ceremony. The term "Aufruf" means "calling up" in Yiddish, and the ceremony involves calling up the groom (or, in modern times, the couple) to the Torah during a Shabbat service before the wedding. This ritual marks the groom's transition into the role of a husband and serves as a public declaration of his commitment to his bride and the Jewish faith.

In the traditional Aufruf, only the groom is called up to the Torah, and it is primarily a custom among Ashkenazi Jews. The groom recites blessings before and after the Torah reading, and the rabbi offers a Misheberakh blessing for the couple. The congregation then showers the couple with candies, raisins, or nuts, symbolising sweetness, fruitfulness, and the forgiveness of sins.

In Reform, Reconstructionist, and most Conservative synagogues, both the bride and groom are called to the Torah. The Aufruf is a Jewish wedding custom rather than a religious law, so there can be many variations among communities. For example, in Sephardic custom, the Aufruf occurs a week after the wedding.

The roots of the Aufruf can be traced back to medieval Europe, and some history books claim that the custom originated with King Solomon, whose reign in Israel dates to 970 BCE. During this time, Jews faced persecution, and the community would uplift the spirits of the soon-to-be-wed couple by celebrating with them, offering blessings, and showering them with good wishes.

The Aufruf is a beautiful and meaningful tradition within the Jewish wedding journey. It is a public declaration of the groom's commitment to his bride and the Jewish faith, fostering community support and celebration. For couples planning their wedding, the Aufruf ceremony offers an opportunity to connect with tradition, share their joy with loved ones, and embark on their new chapter with blessings from their community.

The Bedeken (veiling of the bride)

The Bedeken (or Badeken) is the ceremony where the groom veils the bride in a Jewish wedding. The custom originates from the biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked by his father-in-law into marrying Leah, the sister of his beloved Rachel, because her face was veiled. The groom uncovering the veil comes from when Jacob married Leah by accident, and wanted to marry Rachel. The veiling ceremony is held only for a bride's first marriage.

The veiling ceremony takes place immediately before the chuppah (the wedding canopy). The groom is escorted by his father and father-in-law to the bride, who is usually flanked by both mothers. The bride and groom are often in separate rooms as their wedding festivities begin, and the groom is danced and serenaded by his entourage as he walks towards the bride. The groom then lowers the veil over the bride's face and recites the blessing given to Rebecca by her mother and brother before her marriage to Isaac: "Achotenu: at hayi le alfei revavah—'Our sister, be thou the mother of thou-sands of ten thousands' (Genesis 24:60)". The rabbi then pronounces a blessing upon the couple.

The bride wears the veil until the conclusion of the chuppah ceremony. The veil is a symbol of modesty, and also conveys psychological significance. The groom's veiling of the bride symbolises that he is interested in her inner beauty, which will never fade, rather than her external beauty. The veiling also symbolises the bride's commitment to reserve her beauty for her husband's eyes.

The Sheva Brachot (seven blessings)

The Sheva Brachot, or the seven blessings, are the heart of the Jewish wedding ceremony. They are recited over a cup of wine during the wedding ceremony, after the wedding feast, and following festive meals during the seven days after the wedding. The blessings are traditionally chanted in Hebrew and may also be read in English. The Sheva Brachot are recited twice during a Jewish wedding: once when the couple is standing under the wedding canopy and again during the blessings after the meal.

The seven blessings are bestowed upon the couple when they are standing under the chuppah. They may be given by the officiant, the rabbi or the cantor, or friends and family members. The blessings focus on joy, celebration, and the power of love. They begin with the blessing over a cup of wine, then progress to more grand and celebratory statements, ending with a blessing of joy, peace, companionship, and the opportunity for the bride and groom to rejoice together.

• Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
• Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created everything for His glory.
• Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created humanity.
• Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who created humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of his form, and made for them an everlasting establishment. Blessed are you, Lord, who created humanity.
• May the barren one (Jerusalem) rejoice greatly and delight in the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are you Lord who causes Zion to rejoice with her children.
• The loving partners shall rejoice as You caused your creatures to delight in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are you Lord who causes the groom and bride to rejoice.
• Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates happiness and joy, groom and bride. Exultation, delight, amusement, and pleasure, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may the sound of happiness and the sound of joy and the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem—the rejoicing of groom from their chuppahs and youths from their singing banquets. Blessed are you Lord who makes the groom rejoice with the bride.

During the seven days following the wedding, the bride and groom are treated like royalty, and are invited to dine at the home of a different friend or relative each night. These festive meals are also called "Sheva Brachot." Following dinner, the seven blessings are recited again, as long as there is a minyan of 10 people present, including at least one new person who wasn't at the wedding.

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