Ring Bearer's Pillow: Tradition Or Choice?

does the ring bearer have to carry a pillow

The role of the ring bearer is steeped in tradition, with the pillow being a symbolic item that highlights the importance of the rings in sealing the couple's fate as a married couple. The pillow is not a requirement, but it is customary for ring bearers to place the wedding rings on a white satin pillow. However, modern couples are exploring various ways to personalize their big day, such as using ring bearer briefcases, lockboxes, or even a small treasure chest.

Characteristics Values
Age Between 3 and 8 years old
Walk down the aisle Yes
Carry the real wedding rings No
Carry a pillow No

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The history of ring bearers

The tradition of having a ring bearer at weddings has been around for a very long time in many countries. However, the exact origins of the custom are unknown.

Some sources trace the tradition back to ancient Egypt, where it was customary for jewels to be carried on ornamental pillows during celebrations, especially wedding ceremonies. In contrast to the young children that typically act as ring bearers today, adults are believed to have performed this role in ancient Egypt.

Another theory suggests the tradition originated during medieval times. In medieval Europe, the bride's wedding ring was often presented to her on the tip of a sword during the ceremony. This custom was practised by Northern Europeans, while page boys were used in aristocratic English weddings. Page boys would carry the bride's train and a prayer book, in addition to the wedding rings.

The ring bearer role that we know today, typically performed by young boys, became popular during the Victorian era. This is when the standard dress for ring bearers—velvet jackets, short trousers, and round linen collars—was established. It also became more common for the rings to be carried on pillows during this period.

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Pillow alternatives

The ring bearer pillow is a small but significant component of your wedding ceremony. However, it is not required. You can choose something that uniquely represents you and your partner. Here are some unique ideas for alternatives to ring bearer pillows:

  • Signs – The ring bearer can carry a sign with a message for the groom, such as "Here comes the bride".
  • Flowers – Give the ring bearer a simple stem to carry down the aisle.
  • Books – Cut out a small heart shape from the pages of your favourite fairy tale book for the rings to sit in.
  • Balls – If the couple are sports fans, they could consider giving the ring bearer a ball such as a softball or tennis ball to carry down the aisle, with the rings tied on with ribbon.
  • Boxes – A carriage ring box, a wooden box, or a ring chest are all alternatives to a pillow.
  • Nature-themed – A thin section of wood for a rustic, outdoor ceremony, a glass bottle filled with moss, a faux bird nest with moss and foliage, or a metal seashell for a beach or coastal wedding.
  • Vintage-themed – A vintage pocket watch, a vintage toy pickup truck, or an antique teacup.
  • Ring holders – A ring dish, ring bearer briefcase, or a pocket watch ring holder.
  • Your pet – Your pet can carry the rings attached to its collar or on a flower necklace.
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What the ring bearer wears

While the pillow may be the star of the show, it's important to remember that the ring bearer's outfit is also a key part of their overall look. The ring bearer's attire should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party, with colour schemes and formality taken into account.

For a formal wedding, charming little tuxedos are a popular choice. For a more casual event, consider something like khakis or even Bermuda shorts. If you're having an outdoor wedding, a linen outfit can be a great option.

  • Little Ralph Lauren Suit Separates: A versatile option that can be dressed up or down, depending on the formality of your wedding.
  • Baby/Toddler Suspender Tuxedo Outfit: This formal suit comes with suspenders and a bow tie, and is available in a variety of colour combinations.
  • Baby/Toddler Suit Vest Set: A more formal take on the suspender suit, with a vest and long-sleeve button-up shirt.
  • Ring Bearer Outfit Accessory Set: If your ring bearer already has a top and bottom to wear, consider adding some accessories like suspenders, a newsboy hat, and a bow tie to coordinate with your wedding colours.
  • Linen Ring Bearer Outfit: For a boho-themed or outdoor wedding, consider a linen vest, bow tie, and a pair of suspender shorts.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose an outfit that your ring bearer will be comfortable and confident in. It's also a good idea to provide a few options for the parents of the ring bearer to choose from, as they typically pay for the outfit and accessories.

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Who carries the real rings?

Ultimately, the decision of who carries the real rings is up to the couple. Many couples choose to give the ring bearer fake rings, with the best man or officiant holding the real rings. This is to avoid the risk of losing the rings. However, some couples do choose to give the ring bearer the real rings, tying them securely to the pillow or placing them in a box. If the ring bearer is particularly young, the pillow may be used as a symbolic item, with a trusted adult carrying the real rings.

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The role of the ring bearer

The tradition of the ring bearer is believed to have originated in ancient Egypt, where adults would carry treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies. In medieval times, young children would carry the rings on a pillow to showcase wealth, as pillows were considered a rare luxury.

Today, the ring bearer is an important part of the wedding ceremony, symbolising the commitment and true love that lead to the wedding. While the traditional pillow is still commonly used, some couples choose to use alternative items such as ring boxes, briefcases, or even their pets to carry the rings.

The ring bearer walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and gives the rings to the officiant or best man at the altar. The ring bearer may stand at the altar with the wedding party or sit with their parents.

It is not necessary for the ring bearer to carry the real wedding rings, and many couples choose to use fake rings or have a trusted adult hold the real rings to avoid any mishaps. The role of the ring bearer is a special way to include young family members or friends in the wedding ceremony and create lasting memories.

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Frequently asked questions

No, the ring bearer does not have to carry a pillow. While it is a long-held tradition, you can choose to have the ring bearer carry the rings in a box, briefcase, or even tied to your pet's collar.

Some unique alternatives to a ring bearer pillow include a ring chest, ring bearer briefcase, a themed object such as a seashell for a beach wedding, a ring box, a ring dish, or a pocket watch ring holder.

The tradition of the ring bearer pillow is believed to have originated in ancient Egypt, where adults carried treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies. In medieval times, young children carried the rings on a pillow to showcase wealth, as pillows were considered rare.

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