The Best Man's Speech: Before Or After The Groom?

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. It is usually given after the maid of honour's speech and before the groom's. A best man's speech typically follows a simple structure: a funny or complimentary introduction, a short story, a bit of vulnerability, and a toast to the bride and groom. While the best man is expected to be funny, it's important to keep the speech positive, respectful, and congratulatory, focusing on the groom and his relationship with the bride.

Introduce yourself and thank the hosts

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, my name is [Your Name] and I am the best man. For those of you who don't know me, I'm the groom's [describe your relationship with the groom]. First of all, I'd like to thank the hosts, [Names of Hosts], for putting on this wonderful celebration. I'd also like to thank everyone for joining us on this joyous occasion.

It's an honour to stand here today as the best man. I must admit, it's a little daunting, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do, but I'm going to get through it with style and a bit of humour!

Now, let's talk about how I know the groom. I first met [Name of Groom] [Number of] years ago when [explain how you met]. Since then, we've shared countless adventures and memories. [Name of Groom] is a truly incredible person, and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. He's always been there for me through thick and thin, and I know he'll continue to be a loyal and supportive friend.

I'd also like to thank the bride for choosing such an amazing partner for my friend. [Name of Bride], you are a beautiful person, inside and out, and I can see how happy you make [Name of Groom]. It's clear that you bring out the best in each other, and your love is an inspiration to us all.

So, let's raise our glasses to the happy couple! May your love continue to grow and flourish. To [Name of Groom] and [Name of Bride]!

Share a story about the groom

Sharing a story about the groom is an essential part of a best man's speech. It is a great opportunity to make your best bro look good in front of all his friends and family. The story should be short, positive, and preferably something that includes the bride as well. It should be a story that involves the groom (and ideally, the bride too).

• "I first met John when we were just kids. We played together as toddlers and were in the same class at school. We've had our fair share of wild adventures and quiet moments where he confided in me. I have very fond memories of growing up with him and feel privileged to have been a part of his life for so long."
• "I want to take you back to the day when Mark and Emily first met. It was at Buzz nightclub, and Emily, ever so subtly, pinched Mark on the bottom. A move that left an impression, quite literally, as it gave him a bruise that lasted for weeks! It took a whole year for them to cross paths again, but when they finally did, it was clear that the connection was still there."
• "The groom and I go way back. We attended the University of Texas and pledged a fraternity together. It was during those wild nights of upside-down beer bongs, ritual humiliation, and complete lack of sleep that I knew I had made a friend for life. When you discover that your new buddy has his dad's credit card with no limits, who wouldn't want him as a friend forever?"
• "I want to share a story that shows the impact the bride has had on the groom. Before they met, the groom's life was quite different. He spent most of his time at the pub or on the golf course. But since meeting his lovely bride, he has cut back on those activities and found new interests. He now spends his time globe-trotting and immersing himself in different cultures, thanks to the influence of his wife."
• "I want to share a funny story about the groom from our college days. We lived in the same dorm, and one day, I walked into our room to find him covered in potpourri. Apparently, he had received a glass bowl of it as a gift, and when he tried to throw it out, it ended up smashing behind me. It was then that I realized that this sensitive soul didn't take criticism very well! Despite our differences, we became close friends, and I am honoured to stand here today as his best man."

Compliment the couple

The best man's speech is a time-honoured tradition and a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the newlyweds. While it can be a little daunting to speak in front of a large group, focusing on complimenting the couple is a great way to structure your speech and show your support for the happy couple. Here are some ideas and tips to help you craft a heartfelt and memorable tribute:

• Introduce yourself and your connection to the groom: Start by welcoming the guests and giving a brief introduction. It's a good idea to mention how you know the groom and for how long. This helps the audience understand your relationship and sets the context for your speech.
• Highlight the groom's positive attributes: Share some of the groom's best qualities and relate them to the occasion. For example, if he is known for his intelligence, you could say, "Marriage is a major adjustment for everyone. Before today, as a smart single man, [Groom] had all the answers. Now, as a married man, he has to learn to say, 'I don't know' to his wife."
• Compliment the bride: Acknowledge the bride and express your approval of her. You can talk about her positive impact on the groom, how she makes him happy, or how she has improved him. For example, "I've noticed a change in [Groom] since he met [Bride]. He's a happier person, and we all know he's a better man because of her influence."
• Praise them as a couple: Talk about what makes them a great match and how their love inspires others. You can share how their relationship has grown and evolved, and how they complement each other. "It's clear to see that [Groom] and [Bride] bring out the best in each other. Their love and commitment to each other are an inspiration to all of us, and we wish them a lifetime of happiness."
• Share a meaningful quote or poem: Include a romantic or heartfelt quote that reflects the couple's personality and adds a literary touch to your speech. For example, "Love is not about gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).
• Offer well-wishes and a toast: Conclude your speech by proposing a toast to the couple's health, wealth, and happiness. You can also share your hopes and wishes for their future together. "May your love continue to grow and flourish. Cheers to the wonderful journey ahead!"

Remember to keep your compliments sincere and meaningful, and avoid going overboard. Injecting some humour can lighten the mood, but be mindful of the couple's boundaries and avoid inappropriate jokes or stories. With these tips in mind, you'll deliver a wonderful tribute to the newlyweds.

Conclude with well-wishes

The conclusion of your best man speech should be a heartfelt toast to the couple's future together. This is your opportunity to offer your best wishes for their marriage and express your support for their union. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a meaningful and memorable ending:

• Summarize your thoughts: Before wrapping up, briefly summarize the key points of your speech. You can highlight the groom's positive qualities, the impact the bride has had on him, or their love and compatibility as a couple. For example: "John, you've been a great friend and a true brother to me. I wish you and Sarah all the best as you embark on this new chapter together. Cheers to a lifetime of love, laughter, and endless adventures!"
• Toast to their future: Raise your glass and invite the audience to join you in a toast. This is a traditional way to conclude your speech and celebrate the newlyweds. For instance: "Please join me in raising our glasses to the happy couple, Jack and Rachel. May your love continue to grow and flourish, and may your lives be filled with joy and blessings. To Jack and Rachel!"
• Keep it sincere and concise: Aim for sincerity and brevity in your conclusion. You don't want to ramble on for too long, as the guests' attention may start to wane. A short and heartfelt message will leave a lasting impression. For example: "To the bride and groom, may your love continue to shine bright and bring you endless happiness. Congratulations, and cheers to your future together!"
• Express your gratitude: Thank the couple for including you in their special day and wish them a wonderful married life. For example: "Thank you, Tom and Emily, for letting me share this moment with you. It means the world to me. I wish you both a lifetime of love, joy, and all the blessings life has to offer. Congratulations!"
• Use a quote: If you want to add a unique touch, consider incorporating a meaningful quote about love, friendship, or marriage. Choose something that resonates with the couple and reflects your well-wishes for them. For example: "In the words of Robert Browning, 'Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.' Tom and Emily, may your love continue to grow and deepen with each passing year. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness and love!"

Keep it short and sweet

Keeping your speech short and sweet is a great way to ensure your message is clear, memorable, and perfectly suited for the occasion. A concise speech can also help you overcome any nervousness you may feel about public speaking. Here are some tips to help you craft a meaningful and concise best man speech:

Start with Gratitude

Kick things off by thanking the hosts and expressing your appreciation to the groom for choosing you as his best man. This is a great way to ground yourself and show respect to the guests. For example, you can say something like:

> "I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimerman for hosting us today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day."

Share a Short Story

The "meat" of your speech will be a brief story or two about your relationship with the groom. Focus on humorous or lighthearted anecdotes that showcase the groom's positive qualities. Avoid stories that are overly embarrassing or that might upset the bride or other guests. A great story should include sensory details, such as:

> "The smell of burnt popcorn filled our dorm room as Jordan attempted to 'cook' for the first time."

Compliment the Couple

Strengthen your bond with the newlyweds by expressing your support for their marriage. Highlight how the bride has positively influenced the groom, and list a few things you admire about their relationship. For instance:

> "Jeff and Anne are a perfect pair, and it seriously warms my heart to see a couple so amazingly in love."

Conclude with Well-Wishes

Wrap up your speech by offering your best wishes for the couple's future together. Invite the audience to join you in a toast to celebrate the bride and groom. For example:

> "Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness and many more adventures for Jeff and Anne!"

Keep it Brief

As a general guideline, aim for your speech to be around 3 to 5 minutes long. This will ensure you hold the audience's attention and leave them wanting more. Rehearse your speech beforehand to get a sense of the timing, and don't be afraid to use index cards or cue cards to help you stay on track.

Remember, a short and sweet best man speech is memorable, sincere, and avoids unnecessary rambling. Focus on the groom and his positive qualities, and you'll deliver a fantastic speech that everyone will enjoy!

Frequently asked questions