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The best man is the groom's right-hand man and typically has a lot of responsibilities throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself. One of the key questions surrounding the best man's role is whether or not he stands during the ceremony.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as it depends on the couple's preferences and the specific dynamics of the wedding party. In some cases, the best man may be asked to stand at the altar with the groom, especially if he is also the ring bearer and is entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe. In other cases, the couple may prefer to have the best man seated during the ceremony, along with the rest of the bridal party.
Ultimately, the decision to have the best man stand or sit during the ceremony is a personal choice and can be tailored to fit the unique needs and preferences of the couple.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Position during the ceremony | The best man usually stands next to the groom during the ceremony. |
| Role | The best man is the groom's right-hand man, confidante, and personal valet. |
| Main Responsibility | The best man is in charge of the groomsmen and leads all communication and activities. |
What You'll Learn
Standing at the altar
The best man has a crucial role to play in the wedding ceremony, and one of his main duties is to stand beside the groom at the altar. This is a clear display of support for the groom, and it's important that the best man stands up straight, looks interested, and smiles during the ceremony.
During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom, and in a Jewish wedding, he enters right before the groom. The best man will then take his place standing closest to the groom at the altar, with the rest of the groomsmen lining up alongside. If there is a ring bearer, the best man may also be responsible for holding the wedding rings until it's time for the couple to exchange their vows.
In a traditional Catholic wedding, the best man enters the ceremony from the side of the venue with the priest and groom, and takes his place at the altar on the right side, with the priest in the centre and the groom on his right. In a Christian ceremony, the best man stands on the right side of the altar with the groom and groomsmen, while the bride and her bridesmaids stand on the left, with the officiant in the centre.
The best man's role at the altar is a visual representation of his support for the groom and is one of the most important duties he will perform on the wedding day. It is an honour to be chosen as a best man, and this role comes with a lot of responsibility, so it's important to be prepared and organised.
The best man should also be aware of any other duties the couple may require of him during the ceremony, such as signing the marriage license as a witness or escorting the maid of honour out of the room after the ceremony.
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Holding the rings
If there is a ring bearer, they will usually walk down the aisle carrying the rings on a pillow, but these are often fake, and the best man will still be responsible for keeping the real rings safe. The best man may also be asked to hold the couple's personal items, such as their phones or wallets.
It is a good idea for the best man to practice the handover of the rings with the couple during the rehearsal, so that the exchange is seamless on the day.
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Signing the marriage license
Document the Moment
Since the signing of the marriage license is not typically captured by photographers, consider asking your photographer to take detailed shots of this moment during the ceremony and reception. You can also take a quick snapshot of the signing, or opt for a faux signing at the wedding if the original signing takes place at a county clerk's office. This way, you can have a visual reminder of this important step in your wedding journey.
Include it in the Ceremony
Incorporate the signing of the marriage license as part of the wedding ceremony itself. Set up a table near the ceremony site and sign the license after exchanging your vows and before the final pronouncement. To fill any awkward silence during the signing, enlist a talented friend or family member to sing a special song or perform another interactive tradition, such as a blessing of the rings.
Decorate the Table
Add a personal touch to the signing table by decorating it with photographs of family members on their wedding day. This is a heartfelt way to honour the joining of your two families and to remember family members who are no longer with you.
Witnesses and Officiant
In addition to the couple, the marriage license is typically signed by the wedding officiant and two witnesses. The witnesses can be guests at your wedding or, if you are eloping, you can ask strangers at your elopement location to sign as witnesses. The officiant and witnesses play a crucial role in ensuring the legality of your wedding, so it is important to confirm their presence ahead of time.
Timing and Location
Most couples choose to sign the marriage license during or just after the wedding ceremony. If you sign during the ceremony, you will usually step aside with your officiant and witnesses after exchanging vows and rings, and then return to finish the ceremony. If you sign after the ceremony, you will typically meet with your officiant and witnesses right after the recessional. You can decide whether you want the signing to be part of the ceremony or done separately, depending on your preferences.
Remember, the signing of the marriage license is a significant and special moment in your wedding. By incorporating it into your ceremony and adding personal touches, you can make it a memorable part of your celebration.
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Ushering the maid of honour out of the ceremony
Before the Ceremony
As the best man, it is a good idea to meet the maid of honour before the wedding day. This will help to avoid any potential awkwardness when it comes time to escort her out of the ceremony. During this meeting, you can also discuss any details or tasks that you will need to work on together, such as greeting guests or organising the wedding photographs.
During the Ceremony
The best man should stand next to the groom during the wedding ceremony, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant, the bride, the groom, and the best man. Before the ceremony begins, the best man should ensure that the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes early. Once there, the best man should stand by the groom's side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
After the Ceremony
Once the ceremony is over, tradition states that the best man is required to escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newly married couple. This is a way to honour the maid of honour and to signal the end of the ceremony. After this, the best man may also be expected to stand in a receiving line at the wedding reception, greeting guests as they enter.
Other Duties
In addition to ushering the maid of honour out of the ceremony, the best man has several other important duties throughout the wedding process. These include planning the stag do, writing and delivering a speech, holding the wedding rings, and acting as a witness to the marriage. The best man is also often responsible for helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire and ensuring that everyone is where they need to be on time.
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Greeting guests with the groom
Greeting the guests with the groom is one of the best man's most important duties. Here are some tips to help you ace this responsibility:
Before the Ceremony
Firstly, ensure that the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. This will allow you to be by his side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony commences. If you don't know all the guests, be sure to introduce yourself as the best man so that they know who to speak to if they have any questions.
During the Ceremony
Before the wedding ceremony starts, the groom and the best man should take their places on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room at the altar. As the best man, you may also be asked to hold the couple's personal items, such as their phones or money, during the ceremony.
After the Ceremony
Tradition states that once the ceremony is over, the best man is required to escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newly married couple's exit. This is why it is recommended to meet the maid of honour ahead of the wedding day to avoid any potential awkwardness.
Other Tips
- If the newlyweds choose to have a receiving line at the wedding reception, you will be expected to stand in it and greet the guests as a key part of the wedding party.
- Help round up guests for the wedding photographer's group photos, and appear in many of them yourself.
- If the couple has decided not to have a toastmaster or master of ceremonies, the best man may be asked to announce key elements like the couple's arrival into the reception room, the speeches, and the cutting of the cake.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, the best man usually stands next to the groom during the ceremony.
The best man may be asked to hold the wedding rings until the couple's ring exchange.
The best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place standing closest to the groom at the altar.
The best man may be asked to help the groom get ready on the morning of the wedding and ensure everyone gets to the venue on time.
The best man may be asked to help with certain tasks at the end of the night, including making sure vendors are tipped and paid, and transporting gifts to the couple's home.
