The Best Man's Best Mate: Who Gets The Honor?

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante throughout the engagement and wedding. The role is usually assigned to the groom's closest friend or family member, but there are no set rules. It's becoming increasingly common for couples to break away from traditional gender roles, so the best man doesn't have to be a man. They may be referred to as a best woman, bridesman, or any other title the couple prefers.

The best man has a range of duties, including planning the bachelor party, helping choose and organise the groomsmen's attire, and giving a speech at the reception. They also provide emotional support to the groom and act as a point of contact for the groomsmen. On the wedding day, the best man helps the groom get ready, ensures everyone is on schedule, holds the wedding rings, stands next to the groom during the ceremony, and dances with the maid of honour.

The best man may also be asked to take on additional tasks, such as decorating the getaway car, collecting gifts, and helping with transportation. It's important to note that the responsibilities can vary depending on the couple's dynamics and the size of the wedding party.

The best man's speech

So, your best bud has chosen you to be his best man—congratulations! It's an honour to be someone's right-hand man and confidant throughout their engagement and wedding. But what does the role entail, and what should you focus on when it comes to writing your best man's speech?

Before the Wedding

Firstly, it's your job to support the groom and be his sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he may be feeling. You'll also need to help choose the groomsmen's attire and make sure everyone orders their outfits in time. You'll be in charge of planning the bachelor party, deciding on where to go and what to do, inviting the people the groom wants to be there, and ensuring everyone has a great time.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, you'll need to help the groom get ready and just be as hands-on as possible with any last-minute tasks. You may also be asked to hold onto the wedding rings, the groom's phone, and wallet until the ceremony.

Now, for the best man's speech. This is perhaps your biggest responsibility and your most important moment of the night. If you're following a traditional wedding speech timeline, the father of the bride and/or groom will speak first, followed by the maid of honour, and then it's your turn. Your speech should be well-crafted and practised. Start by introducing yourself and thanking the couple for inviting you to be a part of their special day. Thank the bride's parents for hosting, and welcome the guests.

Next, you'll want to talk about the groom. Share a funny story or anecdote about him, but remember to consider your audience and keep it appropriate—you don't want to embarrass him or offend any older relatives. You can also share a sweet story about the couple and talk about how happy you are for them.

Finally, raise your glass and ask everyone to join you in toasting the newlyweds. You can end with a question or statement that encourages everyone to get back to the party and enjoy the rest of the night.

After the Wedding

Even after the wedding is over, you still have a few responsibilities. You may be asked to help collect and safely store any wedding gifts, cards, and keepsakes, as well as return any rented attire. You might also need to help with tipping and paying vendors.

Remember, it's an honour to be chosen as someone's best man, and your duties are an important part of making their wedding day special. So have fun, and good luck with that speech!

Planning the stag do

Start Planning Early

It's best to plan the stag do early to avoid last-minute stress and to get the best deals. Pick two or three dates and ask the group which they prefer. It's also a good idea to plan the stag do to take place up to three months before the wedding so that everyone has time to recover.

Discuss the Details with the Groom

Ask the groom for a guest list, his budget, and the type of stag do he wants. Does he want to go abroad or stay local? Does he want a wild party or something more low-key? It's also important to consider everyone's budget when planning the event.

Invite the Guests

As the best man, you'll be responsible for inviting people and making sure they all turn up.

Play a Prank on the Groom

It's not a stag do without a prank! Just make sure it's nothing that will get the groom arrested.

Choose Some Games and Activities

There are lots of games and activities to choose from, such as pranks, drinking games, and group activities like paintballing or go-karting.

Make a Speech

As the best man, you'll be expected to make a speech at the stag do. It's a good idea to keep it light-hearted and funny, but not too rude as it will be a family audience.

Choosing the groom's attire

So, you're the best man and you're wondering what the groom should wear? Well, wonder no more! Here's a comprehensive guide to help you choose the groom's attire and ensure he looks his best on the big day.

Suit or Tuxedo?

The first decision to make is whether the groom should wear a suit or a tuxedo. This choice depends on the formality of the wedding and the desired vibe. Tuxedos are typically reserved for formal or black-tie events, while suits are more versatile and can be dressed up or down. If the wedding is during the day or has a more casual vibe, a suit is the way to go. However, if the groom wants to feel fancy or the event is formal, a tuxedo is the perfect choice.

Rent or Buy?

The next question to consider is whether to rent or buy the groom's attire. Renting is often a more affordable and convenient option, especially for tuxedos, as they can be expensive to purchase. On the other hand, buying a suit or tuxedo allows for customisation and ensures a perfect fit. It's important to consider the budget and the number of times the groom will wear the outfit again when making this decision.

Colour Choices:

When it comes to colour, black is the traditional and timeless choice for tuxedos and suits. It goes with any colour scheme and is always elegant. However, if the groom wants to make a statement, he can opt for colourful suits or accessories that showcase his personality. Midnight blue or charcoal grey tuxedos or suits are excellent options for adding a touch of colour while maintaining a formal look.

Accessories:

Accessories are a fun way to customise the groom's outfit and add a pop of colour. Cufflinks, pocket squares, ties or bow ties, vests, and belts can all be used to enhance the groom's style. For a tuxedo, satin details, bow ties, suspenders, and cufflinks are classic choices. Meanwhile, suits can be dressed up or down with various accessories, such as coloured collared shirts, patterned ties, and belts.

Seasonal Considerations:

Don't forget to take the season into account when choosing the groom's attire. Lighter colours and breathable fabrics are ideal for spring and summer weddings, while richer fabrics like flannel or corduroy suits are perfect for autumn. For winter weddings, white-tie or black-tie attire is a sophisticated choice, as thicker fabrics are more suitable for colder temperatures.

Fittings and Alterations:

Regardless of the outfit choice, ensuring a proper fit is crucial. The groom should schedule fittings and alterations to guarantee his suit or tuxedo looks impeccable on the big day. The best man can assist with this process by keeping an eye on any last-minute alterations and ensuring the groom's outfit is ready on time.

Remember, the most important thing is that the groom feels confident and comfortable in his chosen attire. With your help, he'll surely make a dapper and stylish impression on his wedding day!

Acting as the groom's confidant

The best man should be a supportive friend and help the groom with decision-making and problem-solving. This may involve providing emotional support and being a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety.

The best man should also be the groom's right-hand man, coordinating the groomsmen and ensuring everyone is well-informed. This may include providing moral support during the ring selection and helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear.

In addition, the best man may be responsible for holding onto the groom's personal items, such as their phone and wallet, to ensure they are not distracted on the wedding day.

Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in supporting the groom and ensuring they have a positive and enjoyable experience during the wedding planning and celebration.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

Before the Wedding

It is not necessary to hand over the rings to the best man months or weeks before the wedding. The longer they are out of your possession, the greater the chance they could be lost. The night before the wedding, hand over the rings in their original box or the box you want to be seen during the ceremony to someone you trust. This could be the best man, a young relative, or even the officiant. If you are worried about the best man's reliability, consider giving them to a trusted family member or friend instead.

During the Wedding

If the best man is holding the rings, he should keep them in his inner jacket pocket, checking first to make sure the pocket doesn't have a hole! He should be aware of where the rings are at all times and keep them in a safe place.

General Ring Care Tips

• Keep your rings clean and dry before storing them. Use a soft cloth and a mild soap solution to gently remove any dirt or debris. Rinse thoroughly under warm water and dry with a soft cloth.
• Avoid wearing your rings to locations known for ring loss, such as the gym, the beach, or swimming pools.
• Take your ring off in the evening and when you go to bed to avoid unnecessary wear.
• If your ring starts to get loose, have it resized so that it doesn't fall off.
• Get your wedding ring insured so that you are protected and can replace it if needed.
• Avoid exposure to heat and sunlight, which can cause damage to the rings.
• Use silica gel packs to help absorb moisture and prevent tarnishing or damage.
• Store your rings in a safe and secure location, such as a bank safe or a safety deposit box. Only give access to trusted individuals.
• Consider using a ring holder to keep your rings safe and make a beautiful addition to your home decor.

Frequently asked questions